Bike To Work Day Jokes
7 bike to work day jokes and hilarious bike to work day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about bike to work day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Bike To Work Day Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good bike to work day joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
A guy gets his bike stolen from synagogue...
He goes to see his rabbi one day and says,
"Rabbi you won't believe what happened to me! Last week someone stole my bicycle from synagogue!"
The rabbi is deeply upset by this, but after thinking for a moment he offers a solution:
"Next week come to services, sit in the fron row, and when we recite the Ten Commandments, turn around and look at the people behind you. Aand when we get to 'Thou shalt not steal,' see who can't look you in the eyes and that's your guy."
The rabbi is very pleased with his suggestion, and so is the man. At the next service, the rabbi is very curious to learn whether his advice panned out. He waits for the man by the doors of the synagogue, and asks him,
"So, did it work?"
"Like a charm," the man answers. "The moment we got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my bike!"
Complements of the book, "The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty" by Dan Ariely
This man was a really hard worker...
He worked day in, day out, and put all of his energy into his job. One day his friend was visiting. His friend said "So, it's your birthday coming up, and I was wondering what you wanted." The man replied "Man, all I want is a break, but I don't want to have to wait until my birthday for it." After a little more conversing, his friend left. A while later, he came back to the man and said "Sorry it took so long, I had to take my bike apart!"
This joke was made up by my 10 year old brother, and he wanted me to share it with you guys, so here it is!
The Priest Who Lost His Bike
A Rabbi and a Priest are very close friends. Every weekend they would go out together and ride their bikes. One Day the Rabbi was waiting for the Priest, but when the Priest showed up, he didn't have his bike! "What happened?" asked the Rabbi "Where's your bike?" "I don't know." the Priest replied, "Someone must have stolen it!" "That's unacceptable!" the Rabbi screamed, you must find out who did this!" "But how?" asked the Priest. "I have an idea! You should give all of your people a long lecture about the ten commandments and when you get to the 8th one (Thou shall not steal) scream at the people until on of them gives in to stealing your bike." "Good idea!" the Priest replied. Next week the Priest show up with his bike! "You found your bike!" the Rabbi said happily, what happened?" "Your idea worked perfectly!" the Priest said, "I was screaming at the people about the ten commandments, and right before the 8th one, was the 7th (Thou shall not commit adultery) and then I remembered where I left my bike!
A man is driving his new mustang
home from work one day. He spots an incredibly obese man sitting on the curb next to a bicycle, breathing heavily. He stops and asks the man what's wrong. The man said that his doctor told him he needed to excersise and lose some weight. As he could barely run he decided to ride his bike. However, on his first day out he had ridden to far from home and couldn't make it back.
The man has time before he needs to be home so he says"I have a rope in my car I can pull you home. If I get going to fast ring this bell and I will slow down."
When they have only gone a little ways down the road a camaro pulls up next to the mustang. As camaros and mustangs are wont to do they race. A police officer spots them and radios to his partner "I've got a mustang racing a camaro" to which his partner replies alright I'll stop them." The first officer replies"its not them I'm worried about its the three hundred pound guy on a bike ringing a bell to get them to pull over so he can pass that has me concerned."
Russian Americans on chess (true story)
I was working with a Russian bike mechanic named Dmitri when my friend who came into the shop frequently started dating someone who was extremely good at chess. The chess player came into the shop one day so I said to Dmitri "Hey, Dmitri, you play chess don't you?"
"No. No, no not play chess."
"What do you mean 'not play chess'? I thought you all were supposed to be good at that kinda thing."
"No, no, prefer checkers"
"Checkers?! Why don't you like chess, Dmitri?"
"Because! If smart good at chess, not be bike mechanic! And when bored play chess fall asleep and (he slumps forwad) *pop* out your eye! Checkers only bruises."
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect.
It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera.
"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived.
Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he brought out his trick fly.
On cue, it started moonwalking.
"What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.
"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
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