Big Truck Jokes
55 big truck jokes and hilarious big truck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big truck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Big Truck Short Jokes
Short big truck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The big truck humour may include short semi truck jokes also.
- I stood in line at a vietnamese food truck for an hour. When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.
What a big Pho queue. - Things you can say about a fully loaded truck but not your boyfriend. Look at how big and fast it is!
- Why was the pea small and green? Because if it were big and red, it would be a fire truck.
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Big Truck One Liners
Which big truck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with big truck? I can suggest the ones about pickup truck and truck.
- There's a movie coming out about a big rig truck. Have you seen the trailer?
- What's big, red, hard too eat and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A fire truck
- I guess I'm semi retired now If I don't find work soon, I'll be living in a big truck.
- What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive? A big toe-truck
- What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck.
- You know what they say about small feet... Big truck
- I was wondering how the truck was getting so big... Then it hit me.
- Why do loggers have big trucks? Because If otherwise they'd have trouble getting wood.
- What do you call a black truck driver? Big-rig n**....
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Big Truck Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about big truck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dump truck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make big truck pranks.
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.
Some time went by, and the case got to court.
The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him."
Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?"
I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Down on the farm.....
One day Farmer John decides to visit Farmer Bill's farm. He gets there early in the morning and is greeted by Farmer Bill. Farmer John tells Farmer Bill: "Bill, you've got yourself a nice, little farm here. Really small but over all it's kind of nice."
Farmer Bill replies: "Thank you John."
Farmer John says: "Bill, you know, MY farm is so BIG I can get up in the morning, hop in my truck and drive around until sunset and STILL not reach the end of MY farm."
Farmer Bill says: "Yep. I used to have a truck like that. Sold it though."
A man is sitting in a bar just looking at his drink for half an hour
Then this really big truck driver looking guy steps next to him and takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life you show up and drink my poison."
Why men wear earrings...
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The guy knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." He walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
Really bad day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
And you thought you were having a bad day . . .
There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.
The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink the poison."
A New Salesman
A young guy from N. J. moves to Fla. He goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a sales job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in New Jersey."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65."
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
"Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,
"So I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft."
"Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK?!"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"
A Texas Salesman
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Appalachian couple get married
Jethro and Ellie Mae get married, and after the wedding party they happily drive off in his 68 Ford truck for their honeymoon. But about an hour later, Jethro storms back into his parents house, angrily slamming the door.
The father asks what's going on, and Jethro says, "The weddins off!" The father says, "Well, now sit down there young fella. I don't understand it. Uns had a nice big weddin, all the clans showed up, you youngins seem perfect for each other, what could go wrong?" Jethro says, "I know pa, but she's a v**...!" And the father says,"Well then you dun the right thing: if she's not good enuf fer her own family, she ain't god enuf fer ours."
A blonde's house catches on fire..
She starts freaking out and finally calls 911. She exclaims, "my house is on fire come as fast as you can!" The operated says, "Okay, calm down and tell me how do we get to your house?", the blonde then replies arrogantly and annoyed, "Well duh, in the big red truck!"
Did you ever wonder why...
...earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings".
"Don't make such a big deal out of it. It's only an earring", he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck".
(I always wondered how this trend got started.)
A truck driver pulls up to a rest stop to grab a quick meal
A big gang of bikers come in after him. They start to screw with the truck driver, throw food on him, etc, trying to start a fight or something. However the trucker doesn't fight back or say anything at all really. Finally he gets up, pays his bill, and leaves.
After he is gone the leader of the gang says to the waitress, "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
The waitress takes a look out the window and says "Well he isn't much of a truck driver either, he just ran over seventeen motorcycles!"
A Frenchman calls the fire department...
He wakes up and his kitchen is ablaze. He calls the local fire department and says " Sacre Bleu! You must 'elp me! There eez a fire please come and put eet out ! "
The fireman on the phone responds " Calm down, we'll be right there, just tell us how to get there"
The Frenchman , confused , asks the fireman , " 'ow do you get 'ere? What 'appened to your big red trucks?!"
A religious lady is in her house when a flood is approaching...
Her neighbor came by with his pick up truck and said "hey myrna, i have room for you you and your chair, the flood is coming, lets go!"
She answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
When the water had forced her to the second floor, a policeman in a boat came by and said Ma'am, c'mon, it's time to go."
She again answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
When the water had forced her onto her roof, the coast guard lowered a man down to her who said "ma'am i'm here to rescue you, put this rope under your arms"
She again answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
After she drowned, she met St. Peter and insisted on speaking to the Big Guy, whom she asked "Why didn't you come to save me?"
God replied "look lady, I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter ..."
(heh)
Joke
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
A guy at a bar is just looking at his drink... (Long)
...He stays like that for about half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes his drink, and drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, 'Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another one.' The man says, 'No, its not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep and got late to work. My boss is outraged and fires me. When I leave to go to my car, I found it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I get a cab to go home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.'
Joe wakes up to a noise on the roof...
...so he goes outside and sees that a bear has climbed up on top of his house. Joe runs inside and calls the first pest control number he sees in the phone book. The man on the other end says that he can remove the bear no problem and will be there shortly. 30 minutes later the man pulls up in a truck. Joe watches the man unload a big cage, a ladder, a shovel, a shotgun, and the biggest German Shepard Joe has ever seen. He asks the man what his plan is to get the bear off the roof. The man says that he will climb up the ladder and using the shovel will scare the bear off the roof. When the bear hits the ground the dog will grab it by the nuts and drag him into the cage. Joe says "that sounds like quite the plan but what is the gun for". The man says "if the bear knocks me off the roof then shoot the f!@#ing dog"
What's Your Poison?
There was a guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, 'Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry.'
'No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss is outraged and fires me.
When I leave the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing.
I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.'
'I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.'
2 Texans are bragging about how big their ranches are
The first guy says "Well I'll put it to you this way, I can get in my truck before sunrise, drive all day long, and by sundown I still haven't hit the other side of my spread."
The other fella looks down, spits, and says "Yeah, I used to have a truck like that"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do big trucks have nuts on the trailer hitch, but no shaft?
Because the p**...'s behind the wheel
How big is your ranch ?
- Well, every morning at sunrise, I get in my truck, and start driving, and by the time the time sun sets I still haven't reached the end of my ranch.
- Yeah, I had a truck like that once.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**... Came Home and Found His House on Fire
A r**... came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Big truck accident
A large truck was hauling water. Next thing I know, a truck hauling vinegar smashed into the water truck. It was very loud, all I could hear was a large *d**...*!
Dumb blonde
A dumb blonde calls the fire department because her home is on fire.
"Help me, help me! My house is on fire!" she says.
"Ok, how do we get to your home". replies the dispatcher.
"DUH! Big red truck!"
A guy walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Do you want to hear a Ukrainian joke?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it, I should let you know that I'm Ukrainian. And the big guy sitting at the table over there is Ukrainian, too. And the bouncer by the door is also Ukrainian. And, the big, burly guy out back slinging beer off the truck, he's Ukrainian as well. Now, do you still want to tell your Ukrainian joke?" The guy thinks about it for a moment and says "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it four times."
A rich man is walking down the street...
He's about to get run over by a truck when a homeless man jumps on him and gets him out the way in the nick of time,
Thank you so much says the rich man, if there's anything I can do for you please let me know
The homeless man has a think and says I'd like a town built for myself and all my homeless friends
The rich man shakes his head and says I'm afraid I can't do that, ask something else
The homeless man thinks again and says make me the handsomest man so I can have any woman I desire
The rich man looks at the homeless man and says how big do you want this town?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar
All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big e**... and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"
Vermont farmer
A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I translated this joke into English from my native language
Woman goes to the witch and asks what will she accomplish in her life the witch says: You will cause death of 60 million people,, Woman runs through whole city and when she gets to her house she sees a small boy sitting in the middle of the road and big truck coming towards him she grabs him takes him off the road sits on a bench next to him and asks: whats your name little boy?,,
The boy answers: Adolf h**...,,
My dad's latest dad joke
My dad raises rabbit and goes through a lot of hay. As we're getting a new bale out a truck drives by with big round bales.
Me: that would keep you in hay for awhile.
D: rabbits can't eat those.
Me: what? Why not?
D: not good for them
Me:You mean the type of hay
D: nope, can't have those big round ones.
(This back and forth keeps going for like ten minute as I suggest why they can't have them and his just saying no)
Me: is there an actual reason why they can't have that hay?
D: (smirks) they won't get a square meal
Me:(floored)…did you just wind me up for like ten minutes to tell me a dad joke??!
D: yeah
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says,
"I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then asks,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...
when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."
