Big Mac Jokes
56 big mac jokes and hilarious big mac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big mac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Big Mac Short Jokes
Short big mac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The big mac humour may include short mcdonald fries jokes also.
- Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight? There was bad beef between them
- Russian POW calls home: 'Mum, I've been captured'. Mum: 'Where are you?'
POW: 'Ukraine.'
Mum: 'Can you get us a Big Mac?' - Today I Ate a Big Mac I am not gonna brag about it but the people in Apple were pretty terrified
- if it wasn't love, why does my heart ache so much whenever i see her? I asked myself as i went to order my 3rd big mac
- I met the man who invented the Big Mac today… He was much smaller and less appealing than he looked in his photos…
- I found a hammer behind McDonalds that I use to smash coins with I nicknamed it Big Mac but it's really more of a Quarter Pounder.
- A man goes to mcdonalds and orders a big mac with a large fry. The cashier says, "I'm sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit."
- What did the law graduate say to the arts graduate? "I'd like a big mac meal with a coke please"
- There are two things I tell high school dropouts... 1. You tried your hardest.
2. I don't want pickles on my Big Mac. - Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report... He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?
True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica
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Big Mac One Liners
Which big mac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with big mac? I can suggest the ones about mac and cheese and mcdonalds burgers.
- What type of computer does Ronald mcdonald use? A big mac
- What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*
- Today I decided to upgrade my Mac... ...so I threw a big slice of cheese on it.
- What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common? They both hate big Macs.
- What do you call Mac who is addicted to McDonald's? Big Macc
- What do you call a Big Mac without the special sauce? Edible.
- What do you call a Scottish burgher? Big Mac.
- What does Shakespeare get after eating a Big Mac? McBreath.
- What is Ronald McDonalds favorite band? fleetwood Big Mac
- what do you call a fat rapper the Notorious B.I.G Mac
- Apple released a new Mac... The Big Mac.
- What do you tell a black man who succeeded in life? I'll take a big mac and a coke.
- What did the engineer say to the humaniora major? Two Big macs and a large coke, please.
- What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin? A Big Mac.
- What does a neckbeard eat when he is in a Mcdonalds in France? Le Big Mac
Happy Big Mac Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about big mac you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean old macdonald jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make big mac pranks.
My annual performance review says I lack "passion & intensity", guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a duck walks into a bank...
He waddles up to the teller and demands a big mac, fries, and a shake.
"This is a bank." She explains. "We don't serve food here."
The duck walks out.
The next day the duck comes back and walks up to the same teller. Again he demands a big mac, fries, and a shake.
Slightly aggrivated, she explains again that he won't be getting any food.
The next day the duck comes back, orders a big mac, fries, and a shake.
The teller is furious. "WE DON'T SERVE FOOD HERE, THIS IS A BANK! IF YOU COME IN ONE MORE TIME, IM GOING TO NAIL YOUR FEET RIGHT TO THE FLOOR!"
The duck leaves calmly.
The next day, sure enough he comes back. He walks up to the teller and asks "Do you have any nails?"
"No."
"Get me a big mac, fries, and a shake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Big Macs and Caucasian Dancers have in common?
They both get served by black people.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys who haven't seen each other since High School meet...
**Guy 1**: Hey George! Haven't seen you in such a long time! How's it going? You went to study Philosophy like you always wanted?
**Guy 2**: Yea! I have a license in Philosophy!
**Guy 1**: Oh, that's awesome! And your sister told me that you also studied Journalism after that?
**Guy 2**: Yes. I'm thinking of even getting a Master's in Journalism.
**Guy 1**: Good job George, I'm proud of you. Keep it up! I'll have a Big Mac now please.
What happens when you throw a big mac at a window?
A fight between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates breaks out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An irish man requests a guiness
"One Guiness please"
-*"You must be Irish"*
"What, just because I ordered a Guiness? If I ordered a big mac would you think I was American?"
-*"Um, Sir.."*
If I ordered a tortilla would you think I was mexican?! Racist s**...!"
-*"But.. sorry sir.. This is a library."*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a f**...' favorite kind of computer
a big mac
What do you call it when I can order breakfast anytime of day, but I'm not allowed to get a Big Mac at 8 am?
A McDouble Standard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some Chuck Norris Jokes
- Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
- Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
- When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.
- Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
- When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy, Chuck Norris caught the bullets with his own bare hands. JFK's head exploded simply because he was so overawed.
A guy says to a librarian "I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"
The librarian says "I'm sorry sir but this is a library".
The guy says *whispering* "Oh, sorry, I'd like a Big Mac, French Fries and a Coke"
The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....
His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found my first grey p**... hair today
I just didn't expect it to be in my Big Mac
I hate it when people think it's so easy to get a body like mine
Do you how many Big Mac's it took?
A sexist, a racist and the president walk into a McDonalds.
The cashier says: "2 Big Macs, 2 Filet-O-Fishes and a large chocolate shake Mr. Trump?"
My teacher always said looking out of windows would never get me anywhere in life.
Did I have a smug look on my face when I handed him his Big Mac from the drive thru window.
Introducing diet coke
making people think it's okay to order 2 big-macs and a large fry since 1982
