Big Coat Jokes
9 big coat jokes and hilarious big coat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big coat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Big Coat Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good big coat joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
2 newfies go fishing
So they go to the local marina and rent a small boat. After trying several spots they find a good spot and land many nice fish.
The guy in the front says to his buddy:
" This is a great spot, we should mark it"
So his pal pulls a sharpie marker out of his coat and draws a big X on the bottom of the boat.
"That ain't gonna work, siily" says the guy in the bow.
"Why not?" Asks the other guy. Bow guy responds:
"We might not get the same boat next time"
A vampire walks into a bar
This vampire walks into a bar. Says ooOOOooOOOooo boogity boogity. Bar tender says "Alright, well what'll you have?" Vampire sits down and says can I get a big glass of hot water?" Bartender goes, gets a giant cup of boiling water and says "Here. I thought you guys needed blood or something like that though, why hot water?" Vampire reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out this giant t**... and says "I'm making tea."
Fancy s**... Club
I found my self at a s**... club one evening. Apparently it was a nice one because when I pulled out a dollar bill to tip one of the dancers she promptly told me "sorry darling but we only take big bills here." without missing a beat I said "no problem hun, all I have are big bills." i winked at her, reached inside my coat pocket and stuffed my electric bill in her G-string.
Help With An Old Joke
Please help me figure out the punch line of the following joke:
Did you hear about the young woman who had a date with the big butter and egg man? Next morning she was telling her friends about him: Young Woman-- And is he generous! Why he bought me the most adorable mink coat! Friend (skeptically) -- And just what did you have to do for it? Young Woman -- Just shorten the sleeves, honey!
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "
WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
A blond woman goes around a rich neighbourhood looking for work...
A blond goes around a rich neighbourhood, looking for jobs to make some quick money. She goes up to one of the houses front doors, and asks the man who answered the door if he needs any painting done. He asks if she could paint his porch. She agrees, and tells him it will cost $50 do do. The man goes back inside, and tells his wife that the woman is painting his porch for $50. The wife, surprised resonds but the porch goes all around the entire house. $50 isn't near what we should be paying to get it painted." The man dismisses this, and 15 minutes later, the woman knocks on his door, saying she is done, and even did a second coat. The man, amazed, asks her how she got done so quickly, to which she responds its not *that* big. And by the way, it's not a Porsche, it a Ferrari"
Wardrobe problem
A woman living close to the train station buys a new wardrobe to replace an old one in her bedroom. However, she encounteres a big problem: whenever a train stops at the station, the wardrobe collapses. She decides to call for the carpenter, who also can't find the reason why is this happening. However, he comes up with an idea: he'll try to see from inside of the wardrobe what is causing it to break.
This day, the woman's husband comes home early. First thing he notices is men's coat, obviously not belonging to him. Furious, he rushes to the wardrobe and opens it, only to see a man waiting there. Resigned, carpenter says:
- Knock me out man. You're not gonna believe I'm waiting for a train.
Baby camel talking to daddy camel
"Dad, why have we got these humps?"
"Well, my son, we are the ships of the desert, we fill them up with water and can walk for hundreds of miles across the desert wastes"
"Dad, Why have we got big feet?"
"Well son, we are kings of the desert, but the desert sand are soft and treacherous, and we need wide feet to avoid sinking as we labor across the dunes"
"Dad, why have we got thick coats?"
"Well, my son, it is bitterly cold at night in the deserts, and we need thick coats to protect us from biting wind and fierce sandstorms"
"Dad...?"
"Yes son..?"
"Why do we live in the New York Zoo?"
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on j**... Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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