Big Buck Jokes
23 big buck jokes and hilarious big buck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big buck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Big Buck Short Jokes
Short big buck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The big buck humour may include short deer buck jokes also.
- I know a man who is so good at taxidermy, the level of detail is incredible and he really brings the animal to life, especially deer... That's why he makes the big bucks.
- Yurt? Something Uncle Bobby yells down to you after you've accidentally fallen from the tree stand while hunting big game bucks in the heart of the forests of Appalachia.
- What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting? I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.
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Big Buck One Liners
Which big buck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with big buck? I can suggest the ones about buck and small buck.
- Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents? Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck.
- My rap album never made big-bucks Cause of the diss-counts
- How do you start making big bucks? With a little doe
- As a mohel, I get big bucks... and little tips.
Big Buck Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about big buck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buck and doe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make big buck pranks.
Genie will grant you one ...
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man, Where did you get such a big lighter?
The man replies, See that man playing piano over there? He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish.
So the guy walks over to the genie and says, I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.
The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he.
The guy replies, No kidding! You think I asked for a 14 inch Bic!
An engineer, a carpenter, and a statistian go deer hunting
As they wait in their blind a big buck walks up. The engineer stands up, takes a shot, and misses. "Darn," he says, "two yards to the left."
The carpenter takes a shot and misses. "darn, two yards to the right," he says.
The statistician jumps up and yells "YES! We got him!"
Big IF
If I had a dollar for every gender, I'd only have 2 bucks and millions of i**... counterfeit dollar bills that only bring sadness and disappointment in the human race and are a scar on the face of earth, ruining and vandalising every-f**...-thing the human race has strived for.
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a 12-inch lighter
Guy 1 asks: *"That is a big lighter you got there! Where did ya get it?"*
Guy 2 says: *"I rubbed this lamp right here, and a genie granted me a wish"*
Guy 1 goes: *"Cool, let me see it!"*
He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie. The genie tells him he can only have one wish.
Guys 1 wishes: *"I wish for a million bucks!"*
So the genie snaps his fingers and a few seconds later, thousands upon thousands of ducks come swarming into the bar.
Guys 1 says: *"What is this?! I said a million bucks not a million ducks!"*
Guys 2 says: *"Did you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?"*
Deer Hunter
A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of m**..., happily chewing away. Taking careful aim, he successfully downed the deer with a perfect shot. Unfortunately, it took him the rest of the day to navigate the rocky ravine and get across to his prize. By the time he got there, two vultures had started to work on the carcass, but due to the effects of the cannabis-t**... meat, they were high as kites. So, apparently.....he s**... two birds with one kill.
Really Big Lighter
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man, Where did you get such a big lighter?
The man replies, See the man playing piano over there? He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish.
So the guy walks over to the genie and says, I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.
The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he.
The guy replies, No kidding! You think I asked for a 14 inch Bic!
The price they charge to repair.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with it running."
What doctors really thinking?
- This should be taken care of right away.
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
- Welllllll, what have we here…?
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
- Let me check your medical history.
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.
- We have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
- Let me schedule you for some tests.
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
- I'd like to have my associate look at you.
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
- I'd like to prescribe a new drug.
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
- This may hurt a little.
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
- This should fix you up.
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
- I'd like to run some more tests.
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
- There is a lot of that going around.
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
A little girl was walking home...
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, he yells, "Hey there, Little girl! Do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl, and keeps walking. The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey, Little girl! I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl, walking a bit faster down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, "Okay, Kid, this is my last offer! I'll give you 20 bucks and a big bag of candy, if you will just hop on the back of my bike and go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams,
"Look, Dad, you're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley, so YOU RIDE IT!"
Timbuktu
In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a r**.... The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the r**... steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three w**... in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!
Another genie joke.
A man is walking down the beach carrying a well-oversize BiC lighter. A second man, curious, ran up to him and asked, "Mister, that is the biggest BiC lighter I've ever seen. Where did you get that?"
The first man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small glass bottle, "I found this bottle a ways down the beach, and when I picked it up and rubbed the sand off, a genie came out and gave me the lighter."
"Wow," said the second man. "Do you mind if I try?"
The first man hands the bottle to the second, and as soon as he rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
"What is your wish?" asked the genie.
"I wish for a million bucks!" exclaimed the second man.
With a puff of smoke, the genie disappeared and a million ducks began falling from the sky.
"Mister, I think your genie here is hard of hearing. I asked for a million bucks."
"Do you really think I asked for a big BiC?
taxi cab
A businessman takes a vacation in Vegas. He has a horrible run of luck, and spends his life savings and maxes out his credit cards. All he has left is his airline ticket home.
Getting into a taxi, he explains his plight to the cabbie. He offers to leave his drivers license or anything else until he can mail the fare to the taxi driver.
"You ain't got ten bucks for the cab fare to the airport? Get out of my cab!" yelled the taxi driver.
The man walks to the airport, flies home, and for the next year, he works very hard, and builds back his fortune. He goes back to Vegas, and this time he wins big.
Feeling good about himself, he steps out of his hotel to leave for the airport. At the end of a long line of taxis, he sees the cab driver who refused to help him last year in his hour of need.
He immediately figures out a way to get even with this guy.
He gets into the first taxi and asks what the fare to the airport is. "Ten dollars." says the driver. He then asks how much for a b**.... "What? Get out of my cab."
He proceeds down the line of taxis repeating the process and getting the same results.
He finally gets into the cab with his old friend, and asks him how much to get to the airport. "Ten bucks," says the driver. "Good." he says to the driver.
And as they cruise past all the other drivers in their cabs, he gives them all a smile and a thumbs up.