Big Bird Jokes
36 big bird jokes and hilarious big bird puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big bird that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Big Bird Short Jokes
Short big bird jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The big bird humour may include short bird watching jokes also.
- Have you guys heard about the bird flu? I mean, I don't know why it's such a big deal. They tend to do that quite often.
- Why couldn't Big Bird hang out with the sesame street gang? Because he was ostrich-sized...
- A great big bird with a long neck strapped me into a chair and put a gun to my head. I guess you could say I was held ostrich.
- Disney's latest movie features a giant bird crashing into a city It's a big budgie block buster.
- I bought some raffle tickets from a local charity for a big fundraiser and won the early bird prize. It was a worm.
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Big Bird One Liners
Which big bird one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with big bird? I can suggest the ones about bird and birds prey.
- Why was the big bird sitting all alone? He was ostrich sized.
- How many birds can you fit under a Scotsmans kilt? Depends how big the perch is.
- Why did big bird develop a complex? Because he was ostrich-sized.
- Big bird's flock rejected him because of how tall he was... He was ostrich-sized.
- What's big, huge and hairy? A Goliath bird eating tarantula.
- Goku has a big chance to... Go coo at a bird.
- How do yo get to Sesame Street? Unzip my pants and ask big bird
- How do Sesame Street characters reproduce? Big bird's eggs and ABCmen.
- How many birds can fit in a pair of p**...? It depends on how big the bush is
Silly Big Bird Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about big bird you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean love bird jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make big bird pranks.
California Condor
A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy meets a Pirate in a bar.
He is missing an arm, a leg, and an eye. I mean stereotypical pirate.
Guy asks, "I got to know, how did you lose the leg?"
Pirate says, "arg, I was hunting a big-ol whale and a rope snatched 'round me leg and tore it clean off."
Guy says, "Wow, so- so how did you lose the arm."
Pirate answers, "I was fighting the queens finest and a cutlass lopped off me arm."
Guy says, "crazy... now what about the eye?"
Pirate says, "A bird sh*t in me eye."
Guy bewildered goes, "wo-wait... a BIRD? Sh*t in your eye?"
"First day with me hook."
Big Bird walks into a bar
Big Bird walks into a gritty bar off Sesame Street and sits all alone and orders a beer. "Sometimes I just feel left out by all my peers. You know, all alone," he complains to the bartender. "I guess I just feel ostrich sized."
The hawk on the patio
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at that big hawk out on the patio," he tells the bartender. "It looks like its eating some avocado toast." "Oh, that bird again," the bartender sighs. "I think its a Millennial Falcon."
Dig it, Man
This cat had eyes to blow jazz, but his chops weren't happening. He climbed out on a ledge for the Big Coda, but just before he was going to step off he heard this other cat down on the street yelling,"Don't jump! There's still hope! Bird lives!" The cat on the ledge says,"Bird? Who's Bird?" The cat on the street said,"Oh, man...go ahead and jump."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback.
Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback when an emu walked up to them.
One of the men was thrilled to see an emu so close up. The other man was more hesitant, for he read that emus can be very aggressive and hostile.
The man started to yell at the emu, "Go away, you big, fat, s**..., flightless bird! We don't want you here!"
The other man responded, "Dude, stop ostracizing it."
A blonde scientist anounces that she has discovered that birds can read.
"Yes, that's right everybody, I have discovered that birds can read," the blonde says to the media.
"How could you possibly find that out?" a woman asks.
"Well, these birds kept running into my bedroom window. So I put up a big, big sign in the window saying 'DO NOT RUN INTO. THIS IS A WINDOW.' That was two months ago. A bird hasn't run into my window since that day."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buddy Hackett duck joke
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did big bird get arrested after sending death threats to Kermit?
Conspiracy to Kermit m**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitting birds is i**... and you get a big fine, I learned this when I kicked a pelican... I ended up footing a massive bill.
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him:
"Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!"
"I do not want," says the little one.
"Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful."
"I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest.
"My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow."
And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
[Long] boudreaux and thibodeaux were a pair of good old country boys.
Boudreaux grew up to be a baptist pastor and thibodeaux became a catholic priest. These good friends even had their churches right across the street from each other.
Well one day boudreaux was putting a sign in his church yard and that thibodeaux was putting up the exact same one. The both said "Turn now or perish."
Right then then a car drove by and the driver flipped them both the bird and yelled "Get a life you freaks." Followed by a big splash off water.
Boudreaux looks up and says "Hey Thibodeaux ya think we should change the sign to bridge out."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Deer Hunter
A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of m**..., happily chewing away. Taking careful aim, he successfully downed the deer with a perfect shot. Unfortunately, it took him the rest of the day to navigate the rocky ravine and get across to his prize. By the time he got there, two vultures had started to work on the carcass, but due to the effects of the cannabis-t**... meat, they were high as kites. So, apparently.....he s**... two birds with one kill.
Jesus and Moses and another guy go for a round of golf
So they all line up and Moses hits the ball first. It flies up and lands straight in the pond. Moses then walks to the pond and splits the water in half, chips his ball onto the green and pots it in for par.
Jesus then steps up, again hits it into the pond. He walks on the pond finds the ball chips it up onto the green for par.
This other guy looks at these two for a moment before stepping up to hit the ball. The ball flies up in the air before again landing in the pond. Amazingly a fish swallows the ball, just as it does this a big bird grabs it out of the pond, the fish drops the ball midair and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one!
Moses then turns to Jesus and goes "i hate playing with your dad"