Big Balls Jokes
31 big balls jokes and hilarious big balls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about big balls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some funny big balls jokes? Look no further - we've got plenty of hilarious material for you right here!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Big Balls Short Jokes
Short big balls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The big balls humour may include short balls jokes also.
- My sons joke - if you've a cricket ball in one hand, and a cricket ball in the other hand. What have you got? A big cricket.
- What do being mad at the world and watching the ball drop have in common? Both involve yelling at a big blue ball.
P.S: Happy New Year! 10 more minutes! - I thought the big NYC ball was mechanically operated but I guess not. I heard Mariah Carey dropped it last night during her performance.
- My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants? Because his snow b**... are too big.
- If you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other, what have you got? A b**... big moth!
- A President, an Actor and a Soldier try to go in to a bar But his b**... were too big to fit through the double doors.
Share These Big Balls Jokes With Friends
Big Balls One Liners
Which big balls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with big balls? I can suggest the ones about big glasses and big feet.
- I was wondering why the ball was becoming so big.. ..then it hit me.
- Why couldn't the juggler perform on the big stage? He didn't have the b**...
- What does it take to put a skirt on a velociraptor Big b**... and a Time machine
Delightful Fun Big Balls Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about big balls you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean big belly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make big balls pranks.
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
Today my friend met Chewbacca...
...she said he was "A big s**... fur ball." So he picked her up ripped of her arms and threw her out of a window. I mean everyone knows not to insult Chewbacca like that.
She made a Wookie Mistake.
Our neighbors got really annoyed at me after I played catch with their son yesterday.
But in fairness, I couldn't find a ball, and the kid actually seemed to enjoy getting tossed back and forth. So I don't know what the big deal is.
An elderly man takes his grandson golfing,
Once they were at their first hole the grandfather remarks, y'know when I was your age I could hit the ball right over that big ash tree over yonder. The boy looks and sees it is quite a hit and not wanting to be out done he whacks one right dead center and it sticks right in the trunk. As he stood there impressed by his grandfathers feat, the man finished his comment, 'course when I was your age that tree was 'bout 3 feet tall
Two drunks stumble out of a bar
... and see this rough looking big dog sitting outside of the bar and l**... his b**....
Drunk 1: "Man! I wish I could do that!"
Drunk 2: "Dunno, Bob... He looks kinda mean. I'd try petting him first"
Tampons
A man walks into a supermarket, asks the clerk where the Tampons are.
She told him Aisle 14.
He comes back a few minutes later with a big bag of large cotton b**......and some kite string.
Puzzled, the girl asks him if he wasn't the one asking for Tampons?
" it's a long story," he explains, "last night, the wife went to convenience store, and I asked her to get me a pak of cigarettes."
He continues, "she came back with a can of Prince Albert and some rolling papers, saying it was cheaper to roll my own....
Cause of death: COVID
An American man hooks up with a Japanese woman... [n**...]
An American man hooks up with a Japanese woman the night before a game of golf with a big Japanese client.
The woman is screaming with passion a specific word in Japanese that the man could tell was a great thing. He decides to try it out at golf.
Each time the big client sinks the ball, the man shouts his newly learned Japanese word. Finally, after the 9th hole, the big client asks the man:
"Why do you keep shouting wrong hole?'"
Two potato farmers are in a field
One of them reaches down with both hands and pulls up two of the biggest potatoes they have ever scene. The other farmer says "Wow! Those potatoes look just like my b**...." "That big?" Asks the farmer. "No, just that dirty."
2 Guys walk out of the gym together.
The first guy has a big bulge near his pocket. The second guy points at and and asks what it is.
"Tennis ball."
The second guy makes a face like he's thinking, and then says "Well I had tennis elbow once..."
The old cowboy's shave
Time for this again:
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Big Piney, Wyoming for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball?
The barber replied "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".
A man went to Spain on his vacation.
He stopped by a restaurant and saw an interesting dish. He asked the waiter about it, who said "Son los cojones del toro, the b**... of the bull sir. we serve it once a day after the bullfights." The man places an order for the next day and leaves.
When he comes back the next day, gets his dish and he eats the b**... and when the waiter comes to ask how he liked the dish, the customer says "not bad, but not as tender as the big ones you served yesterday", and the waiter says "well señor, sometimes the bull wins".
Went golfing with my Grandpa yesterday..
We were on the 12th hole and I hit my tee shot a bit to the left. When we got to my ball there was a big 40ft tree right in my way and I was just going to hit around it when my grandpa chimed in:
"Ya know, when I was your age I could hit it right up and over that tree"
Well not to be outdone my ego took over and I grabbed my 9 iron to hit it right over that tree. I took my shot and *THWACK* the ball hit dead center of the tree and bounced back 30 yards behind me. That's when he chimes in again:
"Of course when I was your age that tree was only 2 feet tall!"
Cat jokes
#10
Why does a tiger tell the truth?
Because he isn't a lion.
#9
If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
None! They were copy cats!
#8
Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
#7
What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!
#6
What is a cat's favorite TV show?
The evening mews!
#5
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens!
#4
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he's always spotted.
#3
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty p**....
#2
What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
He stole the whole show!
#1
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A big, furry creature that purrs while it sits on you
Four men are out golfing...
They were just teeing off when the three men noticed one of their buddies, Jim, was looking a little distraught. Curious, they asked him what was wrong.
"You see that big oak tree over there?" the man replied as he pointed out towards the hole. The other three men nodded. "You see," Jim continued "A few months ago I was out golfing this same course with my wife. I teed off and the ball hit that big oak tree, ricocheted back and hit my wife in the head and she died."
Astounded, the other three men gasped and profusely apologized for their friend's loss. "Yeah I know" Jim said, "I got a 5 on that hole."
Jesus and Moses and another guy go for a round of golf
So they all line up and Moses hits the ball first. It flies up and lands straight in the pond. Moses then walks to the pond and splits the water in half, chips his ball onto the green and pots it in for par.
Jesus then steps up, again hits it into the pond. He walks on the pond finds the ball chips it up onto the green for par.
This other guy looks at these two for a moment before stepping up to hit the ball. The ball flies up in the air before again landing in the pond. Amazingly a fish swallows the ball, just as it does this a big bird grabs it out of the pond, the fish drops the ball midair and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one!
Moses then turns to Jesus and goes "i hate playing with your dad"
The hotel gardener.
The was once a gardener who worked in a hotel. One day, he decides to walk in the garden and he spots a 50 pounds watermelon. He continues his walk in the garden to find a tomato as big as a soccer ball. Finding this very strange, he contacts the hotel's director and he takes an appointment with him for the next day.
Tomorrow comes and he meets the hotel's director. As soon as the director finishes his greetings, the gardener says: "Listen boss, I don't care if the hotel shelters the Olympic Games, but please tell the athletes to stop peeing in the garden!
The Captains Wife
The crew of a US navy battle ship was back home after many months of being out to sea. To celebrate, the captain of the ship organized a formal ball and the entire crew was there in thier unforms. The big band was playing and the sailors were hitting the bar and drinking hard as they admired the Captains beautiful wife sitting at the head table with the captain himself.
One of the drunken sailors spoke up, "Im gonna ask the capins wife ta dance wit me!" The other sailors just laughed at him as he swaggered on down to the captains table. Sailor says, "Hey Capin, may I dansh wit your wife?" The captain, having been drinking himself, nodded the OK.
Stunned, the other sailors watched as their lowly shipmate and the captains wife engaged in a slow dance. The sailor having been out to sea for several months was very happy to be dancing with this beautiful woman.
After a few minutes of dancing the captains wife speaks up and says, "My, but you smell very nice. What do you have on?" The sailor speaks into her ear and says, " I have a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it."
An American goes to Japan....
...to close a big business deal. The night before, he is very tense so he picks up a h**... in the hotel bar. She speaks no English, but they get their transaction settled and go to his room.
In bed, she is wildly thrashing around screaming out a phrase in Japanese. The man figures she is loving it and tries to remember what she is yelling.
The next day, he is playing golf with his Japanese customer. On the third tee, the Japanese man swings, the ball makes a beautiful arc, hits the green, bounces twice, rolls, and winds up right in the cup -- a hole in one!
Thinking to impress his client, the man repeats the phrase he had heard so much the night before. The Japanese golfer eyes him and says, "What you mean.... wrong hole?"
Two Cannibals are Wandering the Jungle...
They come upon a big fat m**... and brain him with a rock. They're excited to have such a feast before them.
Being equitable to one another, as all cannibals are, they decide that one start at the feet and the other start at the head; they'll both work their way to the middle.
After a few minutes, the cannibal at the feet says to the other, "How are you enjoying the feast?"
The other replies, "I'm having a ball!"
The cannibal at the feet says, "You're eating too fast!"