The Best 42 Biden Jokes
Biden jokes are flying around the internet! Here's a collection of the best ones we could find.
Top 10 Funniest Biden Jokes and Puns
Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house.
After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"
Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."
What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument?
Good bi-den
I hope Joe Biden will run for president in 2020
Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....
I'm sorry
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?
When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.
When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.
It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet
Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task
Trump and Biden are trapped on island. Who survives?
America
If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country
If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.
This is not a political post. I just want to travel.
If Biden is elected, I stay in the country
If Trump is reelected, I stay in the country.
This is not a political post, I just can't leave because coronavirus.
My girlfriend told me she will leave me if I don't support Trump...
I said ok.. Biden
Say what you will about Trump
But it was pretty nice of him to air such a long ad for Biden free of charge
You can explore biden election reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean biden kamala harris dad jokes. There are also biden puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States
If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel
My girlfriend said she would leave me if I didn't support Trump
I said "Biden"
With Biden declared the winner, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you're on, I think we can all safely say...
Thanks, Obama.
Joe Biden is not my president!!
At least not till January which won't come soon enough.
Hopefully, Biden will never be the leader of my country
Because if he is, something's gone wrong with the Canadian legal system
Biden and Barack don't tell each other "yo mama" jokes...
they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.
(I'm sorry, it's terrible)
What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the white house?
Pardon me, please.
What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?
Republicans want to block their transition
two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .
While Donald Trump is out there, causing a fuss, what is his opponent doing?
He is just waiting around like an average Joe, Biden his time.
Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.
You want further proof that Biden is already the better president?
He's got 23 million more Twitter followers than Trump.
A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18
The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.
President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home
After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"
President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.
Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.
The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.
Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. "We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all"
The Irish President replied: "Well, if you guys aren't giving out beer, then neither am I."
What's the best thing about being Joe Biden?
Waking up every day and learning that you're the president.
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today
He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...
God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.
Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?
God: Joseph R. Biden
Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* shit dude, this goes even deeper than we thought
President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.
Solid, liquid and gas.
Boxers or Briefs, Mr. President?
In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"
In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.
Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depends".
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
Presidential
Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.
Joe Biden called a press conference, to discuss his meeting with Vladimir Putin…
The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants peace.
After everyone cheered and clapped in relief, he added the bad news…
A piece of Crimea, a piece of Ukraine, a piece of Finland…
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's balls.
Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog
Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.
Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.
Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all on the dog's butt. The dog howls in pain, licking off the mustard from his butt, whining the whole time. Putin, with a victorious smile on his face: "That's how we do things in Russia: voluntarily, and with a song!"
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore?
Because it's for Biden
a Trumper dies and goes to heaven.
After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds.
M: "Can I ask you something?"
G: "Anything my child"
M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?"
G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child"
M: "This goes higher up than I thought."
Teacher : Why can't Trump go to the white house anymore?
Student: Because it is FOR BIDEN
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…
…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
An american and a russian both praise their homeland.
\- Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.
The american says:
\-Now look, I could go right now in front of the white house and hold a protest against president Biden and nothing would happen to me.
\-My friend, it is exactly the same in Russia. The red square is open to all those who wish to protest against president Biden.
President Biden has called for full legalization of marijuana
Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the biden usa puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working biden vice president piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
