Biblical Jokes
27 biblical jokes and hilarious biblical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about biblical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your celebrations a bit more fun with some biblical jokes! Crack jokes that include biblical themes, quotes and teachings to lighten up the mood and give your gatherings a more profound feel. Delight your guests with biblical jokes on birthdays, Christmas, and other holy holidays! Enjoy the pious laughter!
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Funniest Biblical Short Jokes
Short biblical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The biblical humour may include short bible jokes also.
- Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.
- Biblical Parenting Techniques Joseph: What should we do about Jesus acting up in school?
Mary: I don't know it's not like raising the Son of God came with Emmanuel - Do you need a boat of biblical proportions built? Because I Noah guy. I hear he's a fantastic Arkitect.
- Following my wife's guidance, I accepted the biblical command to be moderate in all things. I struggled. Then I decided to add "moderation" to my list. Now everything seems back to normal.
- Why are Biblical scholars nervous about Donald Trump's pick for VP? Because according the Book of Revelations, the arrival of the apocalypse will first be signaled by Trump-Pence.
- Biblical Plagues, an Attempted List 1) Frogs
2) Locusts
3) Maybe Ebola?
4) People who ruin your fave show with terrible fanfiction stuff. - The amount of food I consumed last night, was of Biblical proportions. I'm now dreaming of a wide Christmas.
- What do altar boys and biblical saints have in common? At some point they all meet a sticky end.
- I think Noah might be the craziest of Biblical figures; hearing God, building an ark, gathering animals The whole thing sounds delugional.
- Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.
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Biblical One Liners
Which biblical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with biblical? I can suggest the ones about christian and spiritual.
- How did Jesus get those sweet biblical abs? Cross fit
- What do you call a Mexican Biblical Villain? Poncho Pilate
- Why was the biblical Flood such a big deal? Why couldn't just God dam it?
- What's the Biblical equivalent to Starbucks? Hebrews Coffee
- What is a biblical plot line in a piece of fiction called? Noah's Arc.
- Know Thyself, said Jesus. in the biblical sense. Merry Christmas.
- Who made coffee during biblical times? Hebrews
Cheerful Fun Biblical Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about biblical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christian bible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make biblical pranks.
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
Three nuns die and go to Heaven...
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.
LEGIT :)
Legalizing gay marriage and m**... at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be s**.... Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
Is it any wonder men have been obsessed with s**... since biblical times?
After all, Adam was ribbed for his own pleasure
Two Laws in the Torah were fulfilled on the same day.
For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two landmark laws: "Gay marriage" and The fact that gay marriage and m**... were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:
'If a man lies with another man, they should be s**....' We just hadn't interpreted it correctly.
Im so smart for thinking of this
o**... says to another: Hey, did you know, there's a Middle Eastern country on the Mediterranean Sea, and it's regarded by Jews, Christians and Muslims as the biblical Holy Land!
The other guy says: I don't believe you, you're talking rubbish.
So the first guy says: No, it isreal!
A serial r**... was caught and put on trial
and the prosecutor asked the r**... "What inspired you to do what you did?"
He replied, "Your honor, I couldn't have r**... those women because I am gay!"
A look of relief spread across the judge's face and he leaned back contently in his chair... "Finally, some biblical justification to punish you!"
