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Bible Christianity Jokes

25 bible christianity jokes and hilarious bible christianity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bible christianity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bible Christianity Short Jokes

Short bible christianity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bible christianity humour may include short christianity bible jokes also.

  1. if Christians read the Bible to get closer to God, what do atheists read to further intensify their non-belief? The Bible.
  2. Christian's these days only believe in like 12.5% of the Bible I swear most are Eighth-iest
  3. What's the difference between Christians and Jews? Christians get guilt from the Bible. Jews get it from their mother.
  4. If Christians read the bible to strengthen their beliefs, what should atheists read to strengthen theirs? The same.
  5. As a Christian I can't Believe there are Billy Idol Cover Bands The Bible is very clear that we should not have False Idols
  6. Trump's Twitter is like the Christian Bible Both believers and nonbelievers read it to reinforce their views
  7. Idk how some Christians can justify their homophobia Jesus literally gets nailed by a bunch of men in the Bible.
  8. Justin Timberlake was a devout christian during his N-Sync days. He was always reading his Bye Bye Bible.
  9. As a Christian I always take the holy bible into the bathroom to read And I don't stop till all Acts are done
  10. I asked this christian how many bibles she had in her backpack And she told me it was nun of my business

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Bible Christianity One Liners

Which bible christianity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bible christianity? I can suggest the ones about christian bible and bible.

  1. How do you starve a right wing christian? Hide their money in their bible.
  2. How do you hide money from a Fundamentalist Christian? Put it in a Bible.
  3. You know those people using bibles on their phones? They are using phony bibles.

Fun-Filled Bible Christianity Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about bible christianity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christianity holy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bible christianity pranks.

Isis and the Christian man

An ISIS member stopped the car of a Christian couple.
ISIS member: Are you Muslim?
Christian man: Yes, I'm Muslim.
ISIS member: If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from the Bible.
ISIS member: Ok yallah go.
Later his wife tells him: "I cannot believe the risk you just took.
Why did u tell him that we are Muslims?
If he knew you were lying he would have killed both of us."
"Do not worry! If they knew the Quran they would not kill people" answered the Husband.

A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.

So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"

A nice Christian joke

A man asks his wife to make him coffee, she refuses and states that he should instead make her coffee. He asks her why he should make her coffee and she says it's because the Bible says so. He states that if she can proove that the Bible says so he will fold and make her a cup of coffee. So she takes out a Bible, opens the Bible, points and says... Hebrew

A Christian couple

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee?"

Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."
What? Why?

"It's all over the Bible, dearest."

"The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee!"

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."

A man is suicidal and is about to jump off a building

Don't do it! shouts another man from behind him. God loves you and has given you life for a purpose.
Really? says the suicidal man.
Yes. Do you believe in God?
Yes.
Me too! Christian or non-Christian?
Christian.
Me too! Which denomination?
Protestant.
Me too! Which sub-denomination?
Lutheran.
Me too! KJV or ESV Bible?
ESV Bible.
Die, heretic! And the second man pushes the first man out of the building.

A Rabbi, A pundit and a Priest

A rabbi, a pundit and a priest once decided to put their skills to the test,
so they challenged each other...the challenge was who could convert a bear
They all met a few days later.....the pundit n priest were ok but the rabbi was in a full body cast...
so started the pundit...guess what...I read the gita to the bear....n now he is a pious hindu
The priest says...guess what, I read the bible to my bear....it brought tears to his eyes...he immediately had himself baptised now he is a devout christian....
Finally the Rabbi mutters....."shouldve left the circumcision for later"

What are two things that you can see in the photo op at St John's church?

One is a glorified tool that is no longer relevant, but still widely used by radical christians to persecute homosexuals, degrade women, prohibit freedom, and rationalize war on non-believers.
The other is the bible.

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

I read the bible. Some things I adhere to and I force other to do the same.

Some things I don't like. I think they are BS. I guess you could say that I am an UnevenGelical Christian.

Why is a vegetarian mathematician always a good Christian?

Because in the Bible it says "be fruitful and multiply"