Betrayal Jokes
26 betrayal jokes and hilarious betrayal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about betrayal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Betrayal Short Jokes
Short betrayal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The betrayal humour may include short betrayed jokes also.
- What do you call a member of the blue man group when he's caught red-handed betraying his fellow blue men? The purple traitor of a crime.
- What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered.
(If you don't get it: "cross" can mean "betray") - The tree tried to kill its president. I don't know the reason for its betrayal, but I'm sure it was treason.
- I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me Of all the underhanded things...
- He arrives mysteriously. He helps others, performs miracles, gets betrayed, and finally ascends into the heavens. E.T. was a great movie.
- As a German, I sympathize with the unnamed masses of the Star Wars universe. For I too know what it's like to be betrayed by an evil Chancellor.
- [OC] Why did only one of Jesus's disciples betray him? There wasn't enough wood for a double cross.
*badum tsssss* - When southerns betray you They betray'all
...first time here and I think I should leave now... - Mother, "Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you'll get kids who will be very naughty to you!"
Johnny, "Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, haven't you?" - What's the difference between buttered bread and bread with margarine? One's a buttery trail while the other one's utter betrayal.
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Betrayal One Liners
Which betrayal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with betrayal? I can suggest the ones about infidelity and treason.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? The road betrayed it first.
- What do you call it when a tree betrays its best friend? Tree-son
- What do you call it when 2 Southern people betray each other? Betra-y'all
- Never betray a friend for a cookie. Bros before Oreos.
- On the night of his betrayal, how did Jesus defend himself? Jew-Jitsu
- What does Judas eat when he goes hiking? Betrayal Mix.
- What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad? Treason
- What happens when you're betrayed by a southerner? Betray'all
- If Groot had kids, and one of them betrayed the guardians it would be treason.
- What is betrayal? When you carry your pet to your room and it walks out.
- What do you call a southerner snitching on his friends Betray'all
- What is it called when one r**... wrongs another r**...? A betray'all
- Why should you never betray a necrophiliac r**...? Because then you're dead to him
Howlingly Hilarious Betrayal Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about betrayal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean revenge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make betrayal pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man got a text from his neighbor: "I'm so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.
I've been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."
The man anguished and betrayed, went into his room, grabbed his gun and without a word, shot his wife.
A couple of seconds later, another text arrived.
f**... auto correct, I meant "wifi", not "wife"'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A doctor had s**......
A doctor had s**... with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have s**... with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go."
But, invariably, another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering...
"You're a veterinarian, you sick s**... fiend."
One day Bob gets a text from his neighbor...
The text reads: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt about something and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you aren't home. Probably more than you, honestly. I know its no excuse, but I don't get it at home. But now, I can't live with this guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later Bob gets a second text from his neighbor: "Sorry, really should use spell check! That should be 'wifi'."
Edit for clarity.
What did King Arthur say when asked about Lancelot's betrayal?
"I don't want to talk about it, I've had a bad knight."
Bonus joke:
Why should you hire submariners?
They have experience working under pressure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
an irish girl confesses shes a p**... to her father
at first he gets s**... angry starts yelling at her, how could she betray him, calls her all kinds of names including soup taker. She looks confused at this and asks her father to accompany her to confession. Her dad stares at her for a moment and then he hugs her, crying tears of relief. The he says, "I thought you said you were a protestant!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr. Mike had s**... with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Mike, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of your patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Mike."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
What's wrong with you Mike, you're a veterinarian.
Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...
Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.
Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -
Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"
