Bernie Sanders Jokes
122 bernie sanders jokes and hilarious bernie sanders puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bernie sanders that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Senator Bernie Sanders jokes about his explaining his inauguration outfit making him once again a star in a meme. A lot of jokes about the former presidential candidate from Vermont are really funny and not so political.
Funniest Bernie Sanders Short Jokes
Short bernie sanders jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bernie sanders humour may include short sanders jokes also.
- Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa? I thought he didn't care about the 1%
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
- The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
- Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
- If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."
- Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah. He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.
- If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.
- I was talking to my parents over dinner, my Mom said she was getting tired of the Bernie Sanders memes. I looked over to her and said "Don't worry, this trend will Bern out soon."
- Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
- Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved? America.
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Bernie Sanders One Liners
Which bernie sanders one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bernie sanders? I can suggest the ones about colonel sanders and bernie madoff.
- What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad
- Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.
- Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
- Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism.
- Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
- What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please.
- What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020
- Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS His new name is Ernie Anders
- I went to buy a book about Bernie Sanders ...but it was sold out.
- How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim? Inter-mitten fasting.
- How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry they'll tell you
- Bernie Sanders to cut the BS Now wants to be called Ernie Anders
- Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media.
- What do you call a Jew who is terrible with money? Bernie Sanders.
- Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare
Humorous Bernie Sanders Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about bernie sanders you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean senator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bernie sanders pranks.
Why are Bernie Sanders' haircut costs so low?
He only gets rid of 1%
Bernie Sanders is so fed up with the BS in politics that he is changing his name.
He's changing it to Ernie Anders.
In 2016, Democrats will have to choose between a 70 year-old socialist...
...and Bernie Sanders.
Bernie Sanders is standing at the podium.
Allah Akbar.
What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?
SWV (sisters with voices)
Uncle Sanders is Bernie Tom.
If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it.
I'll call it "Weekend at Bernie's"
New drinking game:
Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, c**... someone else's beer.
Why are Swiss people big fans of Bernie Sanders?
Because they feel the Bern!
Did you hear about the new Bernie Sanders drinking game?
Every time he mentions a new free government program you drink someone else's beer.
What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers?
Bernie Sanders.
I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders...
He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"
I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern."
Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?
Because they were using a Berner Phone.
Bernie Sanders fans say "Feel the Bern." Gary Johnson fans say
Feel the Johnson.
I heard Bernie Sanders lost a delegate to the millionaire in a coin toss.
The difference was a Quarter of 1%.
Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?
Progressive.
Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates.
This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?
What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?
Weekend at Bernie's.
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar.
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk
They all hate the 1% though
After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally?
There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.
Can Bernie Sanders recover?
From his devastating win in Michigan?
In 1987 Bernie Sanders wrote a folk album titled "we will overcome"
At the same time Donald Trump wrote an album called "we will over-comb"
In every generation
there's one man who stands up for the little guy: Bernie Sanders is that little guy.
You didn't lose an hour of sleep last night.
Bernie Sanders just gave it to someone that needs it more than you.
I've Noticed Bernie Sanders is Wearing a Ballcap Now at his Rallies.
If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?
What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? (Dark)
They both have difficulties regarding chimneys!
What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
What did Bernie Sanders say to his barber?
Just remove the top 1% please.
To me Bernie Sanders is more like God
It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out.
Why was Bernie Sanders so happy?
He beat his pole.
What's the difference between a Bernie Sanders supporter and a fat stripper?
A fat stripper actually gets to the polls.
I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders
He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*.
What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?
Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...
Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?
He only sold left wings.
Bernie Sanders is like the wizard of oz...
...because he took Kansas by storm.
Bernie Sanders should change his name to Colonel.
That way he'll surely get the black vote.
What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC...
...that would be unpresidented.
What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with h**... have in common?
They all "Feel The Burn!"
What do you call a Jew who gets beat by women?
Bernie Sanders.
Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose?
because AIR IS FREE
What do you call sandpaper on fire?
Bernie Sanders
What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?
Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
A jew called Bernie ran the biggest ponzi schema ever , he took millions from gullible low information people promising them unrealistic returns .
I was talking about Bernie Madoff not Bernie Sanders you a**holes
Donate 27 $ and we can still win the Presidency !!!
Whats the most s**... thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?
Vote for Bernie in a primary.
What is the similarity between Bernie Sanders and Bernie Madoff?
They both take your money!
Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?
They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.
What do you call a fire on the beach?
Bernie Sanders
Feel the Bern .....
Of Bernie Sanders not getting the democratic nomination.
Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders?
Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".
After his failed Presidential run, Bernie Sanders decides to write a book and finally endorses Hillary Clinton.
The Clinton Foundation bought 10 million copies in advance.
How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?
They all dress like Dobby.
What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?
Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.
Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders.
"Feel the Johnson"
What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?
He quit running.
I've come to realization that I'm not very good at talking s**..., so now whenever someone insults me I give them a picture of Bernie Sanders vomiting.
You could say I give em a sick bern.
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?
Earning Sanders.
I wonder where all the old Bernie Sanders merch is going?
The Bern Pile