Bernie Sanders Jokes
122 bernie sanders jokes and hilarious bernie sanders puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bernie sanders that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Senator Bernie Sanders jokes about his explaining his inauguration outfit making him once again a star in a meme. A lot of jokes about the former presidential candidate from Vermont are really funny and not so political.
Funniest Bernie Sanders Short Jokes
Short bernie sanders jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bernie sanders humour may include short sanders jokes also.
- Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa? I thought he didn't care about the 1%
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
- The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
- Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
- If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."
- If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.
- I was talking to my parents over dinner, my Mom said she was getting tired of the Bernie Sanders memes. I looked over to her and said "Don't worry, this trend will Bern out soon."
- Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
- Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates. - CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk They all hate the 1% though
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Bernie Sanders One Liners
Which bernie sanders one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bernie sanders? I can suggest the ones about colonel sanders and bernie madoff.
- What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad
- Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
- Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
- What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please.
- What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020
- I went to buy a book about Bernie Sanders ...but it was sold out.
- How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim? Inter-mitten fasting.
- How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry they'll tell you
- Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media.
- Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare
- What happens when you get a sunburn at the beach? You become Bernie Sanders.
- What do you call sandpaper on fire? Bernie Sanders
- Bernie Sanders is like the wizard of oz... ...because he took Kansas by storm.
- Can Bernie Sanders recover? From his devastating win in Michigan?
- An old one but a good one Bernie Sanders
Humorous Bernie Sanders Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about bernie sanders you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean senator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bernie sanders pranks.
In 2016, Democrats will have to choose between a 70 year-old socialist...
...and Bernie Sanders.
What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?
SWV (sisters with voices)
Keep Working...
Millions of jobless, art majored Bernie Sanders supporters depend on your money!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to c**....
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to c**..., but has only 3 parachutes.
The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't
afford to die." he took the first parachute and jumped.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump runs screaming, "I'm the smartest man in the world & the next President of America. He grabbed the second parachute and jumped.
The 3rd passenger, Hillary Clinton, says to Bernie Sanders "Take the last parachute."
Bernie says, "It's ok Hillary, there is a parachute for both of us. The
world's smartest man just took my backpack."
If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it.
I'll call it "Weekend at Bernie's"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New drinking game:
Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, c**... someone else's beer.
Why are Swiss people big fans of Bernie Sanders?
Because they feel the Bern!
Did you hear about the new Bernie Sanders drinking game?
Every time he mentions a new free government program you drink someone else's beer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers?
Bernie Sanders.
I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders...
He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"
I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Bernie Sanders and Adolf h**... have in common?
FEEL THE BERN
Bernie Sanders fans say "Feel the Bern." Gary Johnson fans say
Feel the Johnson.
I heard Bernie Sanders lost a delegate to the millionaire in a coin toss.
The difference was a Quarter of 1%.
Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?
Progressive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bernie Sanders is such a socialist...
...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.
Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates.
This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?
What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?
Weekend at Bernie's.
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar.
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
What do you call a well read/researched Bernie Sanders supporter?
Not a Bernie Sanders supporter.
Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally?
There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.
Bernie Sanders won another state last night!
The State of Denial
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar...
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.
Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink.
Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate you. You're also bald. I hope that you die soon. When I become president I will make sure to deport ugly and bald people like you."
The entire bar looks in shock. A news reporter, there at that time, says to a patron of the bar, who originated from the South, "What do you think of this?".
The patron replies "Absolutely f***ing disgusting - Bernie Sanders didn't say Merry Christmas!"
Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?
He can't stand the 1%
In 1987 Bernie Sanders wrote a folk album titled "we will overcome"
At the same time Donald Trump wrote an album called "we will over-comb"
In every generation
there's one man who stands up for the little guy: Bernie Sanders is that little guy.
You didn't lose an hour of sleep last night.
Bernie Sanders just gave it to someone that needs it more than you.
I've Noticed Bernie Sanders is Wearing a Ballcap Now at his Rallies.
If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?
What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? (Dark)
They both have difficulties regarding chimneys!
What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
Why is Bernie Sanders' campaign like Jon Snow? (Game of Thrones spoilers)
They're both "dead."
I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders
He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*.
What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?
Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...
Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?
He only sold left wings.
What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
How can you tell a bernie sanders supporter from a hillary supporter?
There age
If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC...
...that would be unpresidented.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with h**... have in common?
They all "Feel The Burn!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jew who is terrible with money?
Bernie Sanders.
What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?
Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
I heard the Bernie Sanders campaign just chose Prince as VP.
Makes sense since they're both dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?
Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A jew called Bernie ran the biggest ponzi schema ever , he took millions from gullible low information people promising them unrealistic returns .
I was talking about Bernie Madoff not Bernie Sanders you a**holes
Donate 27 $ and we can still win the Presidency !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the most s**... thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?
Vote for Bernie in a primary.
What is the similarity between Bernie Sanders and Bernie Madoff?
They both take your money!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an old man whose r**...?
Bernie Sanders!!
Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?
They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.
What do you call a fire on the beach?
Bernie Sanders
A whale dives into a bar...
and leaves with bernie sanders.
Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders?
Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".
They're changing Bernie Sanders's campaign slogan from 'feel the burn'
to 'burn victims'
What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?
Bernie sanders
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
Bernie leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand, i can make this crowd go absolutely wild with joy? The will not just be a momentary joy, this joy will be huge and they will forever speak of this day as the day that we made America work for everyone!"
Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that! with one little wave of your hand ... show me!"
So Bernie Sanders backhand slapped her and THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY.
After his failed Presidential run, Bernie Sanders decides to write a book and finally endorses Hillary Clinton.
The Clinton Foundation bought 10 million copies in advance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?
They all dress like Dobby.
What music does Bernie sanders listen to?
Progressive rock
What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?
Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.
Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders.
"Feel the Johnson"
What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?
He quit running.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've come to realization that I'm not very good at talking s**..., so now whenever someone insults me I give them a picture of Bernie Sanders vomiting.
You could say I give em a sick bern.
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?
Earning Sanders.
I wonder where all the old Bernie Sanders merch is going?
The Bern Pile
