Berni Jokes
59 berni jokes and hilarious berni puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about berni that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Berni Short Jokes
Short berni jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The berni humour may include short band jokes also.
- Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa? I thought he didn't care about the 1%
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
- The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
- Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
- If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."
- If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office... And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.
- I was talking to my parents over dinner, my Mom said she was getting tired of the Bernie Sanders memes. I looked over to her and said "Don't worry, this trend will Bern out soon."
- Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
- Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates. - CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk They all hate the 1% though
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Berni One Liners
Which berni one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with berni? I can suggest the ones about podium and haircut.
- I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
- What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad
- Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary? They couldn't afford it.
- Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
- Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
- What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut? Remove only the top 1% please.
- How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill... under the table
- What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020
- Bernie demands change... whereas Hillary prefers cards or cheques.
- I went to buy a book about Bernie Sanders ...but it was sold out.
- How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim? Inter-mitten fasting.
- How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry they'll tell you
- Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . . Socialist Media.
- Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare
- What happens when you get a sunburn at the beach? You become Bernie Sanders.
Hilarious Berni Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about berni you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mac jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make berni pranks.
Bernie Madoff with all your money.
Saw Bernie Mac at my local Starbucks today
If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it.
I'll call it "Weekend at Bernie's"
Bernie Sanders fans say "Feel the Bern." Gary Johnson fans say
Feel the Johnson.
Which is Bernie Sanders' dominant hand?
His left one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bernie Sanders is such a socialist...
...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.
Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates.
This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar.
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar...
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.
Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink.
Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate you. You're also bald. I hope that you die soon. When I become president I will make sure to deport ugly and bald people like you."
The entire bar looks in shock. A news reporter, there at that time, says to a patron of the bar, who originated from the South, "What do you think of this?".
The patron replies "Absolutely f***ing disgusting - Bernie Sanders didn't say Merry Christmas!"
Can Bernie Sanders recover?
From his devastating win in Michigan?
What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? (Dark)
They both have difficulties regarding chimneys!
What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?
Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...
Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?
He only sold left wings.
Bernie Sanders is like the wizard of oz...
...because he took Kansas by storm.
If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank.
Colonel sounds right to me.
If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC...
...that would be unpresidented.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with h**... have in common?
They all "Feel The Burn!"
What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?
Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
I think Bernie would win for sure if he had served in the military and reached the rank of Colonel
And he would be sure to get the black vote.
Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?
They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.
Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?
Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.
To all the Bernie supporters...
This isn't the first time a Clinton has left a bad taste in someone's mouth.
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage
Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
Bernie leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand, i can make this crowd go absolutely wild with joy? The will not just be a momentary joy, this joy will be huge and they will forever speak of this day as the day that we made America work for everyone!"
Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that! with one little wave of your hand ... show me!"
So Bernie Sanders backhand slapped her and THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY.
I wonder where all the old Bernie Sanders merch is going?
The Bern Pile
All the Bernie Sanders supporters, across the nation, are now saying...
"We had to, right?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Bernie Sanders supporter has erectile dysfunction and can't get it up
He says to his lover, My e**... was rigged!
Did you know NBC once considered a diet & fitness show based on people such as Air Force Amy, Mary Magdalene, Heidi Fleiss, Charles Ponzi, Berni Madoff, and Donald Trump?
The pilot was cancelled because they didn't want to weigh the pros and the cons.
Bernie Sanders walks in to a bar and yells "free drinks for everyone"
who's buying?
Why was Bernie Sanders rejected from the army?
There can on be one Colonel Sanders
What did Bernie Sanders running for president and me arguing with my wife have in common?
We never stood a chance but we just wanted to get our ideas out there.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bernie Madoff's f**...
Sad news today as Bernie Madoff has passed away. Just before he died however, he asked his friends to chip in to pay for his f**.... But if they get two friends each to chip in too, they get their money back!
