Bern Jokes
71 bern jokes and hilarious bern puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bern that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bern Short Jokes
Short bern jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bern humour may include short burg jokes also.
- I was talking to my parents over dinner, my Mom said she was getting tired of the Bernie Sanders memes. I looked over to her and said "Don't worry, this trend will Bern out soon."
- People who feel the Bern but don't like the sensation have been voting instead for Hillary.... ... or as they like to call her, Preparation H
- I told my Dad I was voting for Bernie Sanders... He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"
I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern." - Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern.
- In honor of the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night ... ... SpaceX decided to demonstrate that they too are feeling the bern.
- Feel the Bern ..... Of Bernie Sanders not getting the democratic nomination.
- If Sanders runs again in 2020 We'll be Feeling the Bern for the second term.
- What does a person feel after he lost all of his money in bad investments? The Bern.
- Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!
- Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!
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Bern One Liners
Which bern one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bern? I can suggest the ones about bung and brig.
- Hillary Clinton is in the hospital... She is being treated for third degree Berns.
- Every time I see a "Feel the Bern" sticker I want to ask if they feel it yet.
- Feel The Bern? Oh, I'm feeling it right about now.
- I had a one-night-stand with a Bernie supporter. I know because I can feel the bern.
- Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN? She was feelin' the Bern!
- Bernie Sanders fans say "Feel the Bern." Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson.
- America got the burn that it wanted... and not the Bern that it needed.
- Why doesn't Hillary Clinton work out? She doesn't want to Feel the Bern.
- Why are Swiss people big fans of Bernie Sanders? Because they feel the Bern!
- The DNC hurt themselves pretty badly... And now they're feeling the bern.
- I wonder where all the old Bernie Sanders merch is going? The Bern Pile
- After the Swiss Idol, After the Swiss Idol, a Bern resident was found dead in his home.
- Why do so many college kids need free healthcare? Because they are feeling the Bern.
- Did you hear about the terrible fire in Switzerland?! Everything Berned down :(
- What happens when you get too much sun exposure in Switzerland? You get a sun *Bern.*
Cheeky Bern Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about bern you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bern pranks.
Bernie Sanders is so fed up with the BS in politics that he is changing his name.
He's changing it to Ernie Anders.
Bernie Madoff with all your money.
Bernie Sanders may be old, but he loves modern technologies such as. . .
Socialist Media.
If Bernie Sanders is elected president, I want to spend a weekend at the White House and film it.
I'll call it "Weekend at Bernie's"
Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS
He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
Bernie Sanders is such a socialist...
...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.
Bernie Sanders is a true socialist
He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates.
This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter?
Don't worry they'll tell you
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar.
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?
Because he hates capitalism.
Can Bernie Sanders recover?
From his devastating win in Michigan?
What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?
Mom & Dad
What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? (Dark)
They both have difficulties regarding chimneys!
Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?
Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
What did Bernie Sanders say to his barber?
Just remove the top 1% please.
To me Bernie Sanders is more like God
It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out.
What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?
Remove only the top 1% please.
What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?
Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...
Bernie Sanders is like the wizard of oz...
...because he took Kansas by storm.
Bernie demands change...
whereas Hillary prefers cards or cheques.
If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank.
Colonel sounds right to me.
Bernie Sanders should change his name to Colonel.
That way he'll surely get the black vote.
Bernie Sanders to cut the BS
Now wants to be called Ernie Anders
If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC...
...that would be unpresidented.
What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with h**... have in common?
They all "Feel The Burn!"
What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?
Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
Bernie supporters are dumber than Hillary supporters. Proof?
Hillary supporters spam social media for cash, while Bernie supporters do it for free.
Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS
His new name is Ernie Anders
What do Bernie supporters call their roommates?
Mom and Dad.
What do Hillary supporters call their roommates?
Orderly
Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race
and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
To all the Bernie supporters...
This isn't the first time a Clinton has left a bad taste in someone's mouth.
Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah.
He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.
What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?
Hindsight is 2020
A Bernie Sanders supporter has erectile dysfunction and can't get it up
He says to his lover, My e**... was rigged!
What is it when a St. Bernard steps in your Vietnamese soup?
A huge pho paw
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates.
Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.
Bernie Sanders walks in to a bar and yells "free drinks for everyone"
who's buying?
Why was Bernie Sanders rejected from the army?
There can on be one Colonel Sanders
What did Bernie Sanders running for president and me arguing with my wife have in common?
We never stood a chance but we just wanted to get our ideas out there.
How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim?
Inter-mitten fasting.
Bernie Madoff's f**...
Sad news today as Bernie Madoff has passed away. Just before he died however, he asked his friends to chip in to pay for his f**.... But if they get two friends each to chip in too, they get their money back!
I needed a new washer and dryer
So the guy at the appliance store sold me those units that have Wi-Fi. I've bern walking around with damp underwear for two weeks because I can't remember my password.
(Cr
