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Berman Jokes

44 berman jokes and hilarious berman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about berman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Berman Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good berman joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat died.

In heaven they faced God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master".
"Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master".
"Aha,you may sit on my left" said God.
Then God looked at the cat and said" and what do you believe in"?
The cat replied " I believe you are sitting in my seat".

My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex

They are watch dogs

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.
Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.
Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.
Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?
I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"
The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

Jesus is watching you

A burglar breaks into a dark house one night. He's moving around in the dark, when he hears a calm voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar freaks out, shines his flashlight around and spots a Parrot sitting in his cage. The parrot says again, "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved it was just a Parrot, and laughing, the thief asks the Parrot, "what's your name, Parrot?"
The Parrot replies, "My name is Moses."
Laughing again, the burglar asks, "Who would name their Parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who named their Doberman, Jesus."

I have two Dobermans, named Rolex and Timex.

Watch dogs

Jesus is watching

A burglar sneaks into someone's home, and while stealing he suddenly hears a voice in the dark.
"Jesus is watching."
Not knowing where it's from, he continues stealing until once again he hears "Jesus is watching". He then notices a bird cage with a parrot inside, with a name plate that says "Moses".
"Moses?" he asks. "What kind of m**... would name their parrot Moses?"
Moses then says "Same guy that names his doberman Jesus".

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and asks:
-who owns the big dobermann outside.
-I own that dog, the meanest and ugliest of the bikers say.
-I am truly sorry, but it appears that my little Chihuahua has killed it.
-"What? How is that possible?" The biker says.
-Well, your dog got mine stuck in its t**....

I bought two Dobermans named Rolex and Timex.

They're watch dogs.

Dogs and old tech

I work at a veterinary hospital.
We had to give booster shots to a dog today, specifically a Doberman Pinscher.
I noted that we were "updating a dobie."
Many groans were had.
I thought it was funny. :)

Some guys are talking about pets...

They get to talking about how good big dogs are because they can make good guard dogs.
One of the guys says "I preferred my old chihuahua pebbles better. And no other dog made me feel safer! He died killing a rabid full grown doberman for me!"
The other guys are confused and ask how that was even possible.
"The doberman choked to death."

A man goes to an interview for a lumberman position​

Interviewer: So, what's your experience in the field? Where have you worked?
Man: I have worked in the Amazon forest, in Canada and in the Sahara desert
Interviewer: In the Sahara desert? But there are no trees there
Man: Yeah, now

A robber decides to rob a house.

He comes in silently, doesn't turn on any lights, and starts to look for the valuables. In one room, he suddenly hears a voice say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber looks around frantically in the dark, when he hears the same voice, again say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber takes out his flashlight, and turns it on to see a parrot. He breathes a sigh of relief, and taunts by saying You're just a parrot. What are you going to do? The parrot responds I may be just a parrot, but Jesus is a Doberman.

Sven and Oli went to the lumber store

Sven went in and Oli stayed in the truck. Sven said to the lumberman, I need a four-by-two . The lumberman said, Do you mean a two-by-four? . Sven said, let me ask my brudder . Sven came back and said, yup we need a two-by-four . The lumberman said, How long? . Sven said, huh? . The lumberman said, How long do you need it? Sven just stood there, not understanding. The lumberman said, Go ask your brother. Sven went out to the truck, and came back and said, We need it quite a while, we're building a garage

A burglar broke into a house. As he was opening the safe, he heard a voice

The voice was saying "Jesus and I are watching you". The burglar turns around and sees a parrot.
"s**... bird, it was you that scared the h**... out of me"
"Yes, it was me, Aristotle"
The burglar laughs and says "That's a s**... name for a parrot"
The parrot replied "Well, Jesus is a s**... name for a doberman"

I put my Dobermans on a vegan diet and I'm worried about their nutrition.

Between the five of them, they're getting through a vegan a week - am I overfeeding them?

Spider bite created Spiderman. What would a dog's bite create?

Doberman.

Dogs playing poker

Why are dogs bad at poker?
Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand.
Why did John's dog win the poker tournament?
Because he's a Doberman.

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

a doberman

What's black and tan, has four legs and an arm?

A Doberman loose on a playground.

What is a baker's favorite type of dog?

Pure Bread Dough-bermann.

What do ISIS members like to play in their spare time?

Bomberman


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about berman can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of berman puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Berman One Liners

Which berman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with berman? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have? A DOH-berman!

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these berman jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.