Bending Jokes
45 bending jokes and hilarious bending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bend yourself into laughter with these "mind bending" jokes! From best jokes that make you question the curvature of your walks to the curious conversations that will leave you with a smile. Dive into a full-on laugh fest of these amusing and creative jokes that will keep you in stitches.
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Funniest Bending Short Jokes
Short bending jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bending humour may include short bends jokes also.
- That awkward moment when the woman you're dancing with bends over so you can grind it... But it turns out she just dropped an earing, and no one else in McDonald's can hear the music on your iPod.
- Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman? Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her
- I think my wife loves yoga more than she loves me. When I want her to do something, she'll only do it if it fits into her schedule. Meanwhile, she'll bend over backwards for yoga
- A man crashed his car A man crashed his expensive car into a tree... He finally found out how the mercedes bends
- Clever yo mama jokes The title says it all.
Heres one:
Yo mama so fat that light bends around her. - As the plumber left my house I saw something fall out of his back packet. I walked over and saw that it was a bag of drugs. But I didn't bend down to get it, because I didn't want plumber's crack.
- Son's earring d**... up my a**...
- Some good advice on how to pick up girls Bend at the knees and lift slowly. Avoid turning or twisting your body.
- How to catch a polar bear First, you dig a hole in the ice,
then you sprinkle peas around the hole
When a polar bear bends down to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole! - Did you hear about that rich kid who got a car for his birthday? He drove it into a tree to see how his Mercedes bends.
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Bending One Liners
Which bending one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bending? I can suggest the ones about bent and folding.
- The best pick up advice I've ever been told is.. ..always bend your knees.
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!! I'll see myself out.
- My friend ran into a tree with his brand new car... He found out his Mercedes bends
- A man drove his car into a tree. He found out how a Mercedes bends.
- Today I lost my virginity for a dollar I wish I didn't bend down to pick it up.
- Being old is like being in prison... It hurts to bend over.
- Change is hard. I mean, have you ever tried to bend a quarter?
- Which kind of car is most flexible? Mercedes bends.
- I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.
- My daughter works at a gymnastic studio that is so accommodating They bend over backwards
- Bend over, little fairy... ...a wish is a wish.
- John went to the doctor... Apparently he is incapable of Bending the Knee
- What do you get when a duck bends over? Assquack
- A scuba diver bends into a bar Sadly, he died.
Bending Over Jokes
Here is a list of funny bending over jokes and even better bending over puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I decided that I wanted to join a gymnastics club… …I had to bend over backwards just to get in
- You are not supposed to twist measuring sticks to measure curves But I've always been willing to bend the rulers
- A guy drove his expensive car into a tree... That's when he learned how the Mercedes bends
- What would happen, if IT technic became a doctor? Patient: I can't bend my knee.
Doctor: [*bends his knee*] Weird, works fine for me. - My very pregnant wife complained that bending over the sink to wash dishes was too hard on her back "Oooh babe," I sympathized, "why don't you just stand sideways?"
The stitches come out on Monday. - Why can't Flat-Earthers watch the show Avatar? Because they don't understand the concept of Earth-bending
- Not a dime of our taxes was used to buy bookmarks.... Politicians prefer to bend a page over.
- What does a person with OCD bring out in the bedroom when they tell their partner to bend over? A protractor.
- Why is there so much litter in prisons Because nobody is brave enough to bend over and pick it up
- What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over? Dough-nuts (South Park reference again; just spreading it).
Mind Bending Jokes
Here is a list of funny mind bending jokes and even better mind bending puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
- What's the difference between l**... and l**...? One is mind-bendingly insane, and the other is a drug.
- People dream of mind bending shower s**... and I just dream of the hot water lasting longer than him
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Bending Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about bending you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kneeling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bending pranks.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.
"Fourteen!"
a man walks by a mental hospital and over the wall he can hear the patients saying,"Fourteen" over and over again. The wall is too high to see over and as he walks along it he sees a small hole. Bending down to look through and see why they are chanting "Fourteen", he can see some movement.
All of a sudden a stick pushes through into his eye!
Then he hears...Fifteen!...Fifteen!...Fifteen!!!
The Mouse
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a c**.... His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
I was trying to milk a goat once...
One evening, I was going to milk a goat in the barn. As I started, the goat tried to kick me by her back leg. So I took a rope and tied her leg to one of the wooden poles in the barn.
I tried to continue, but she tried to kick me by the other back leg, so I took another rope and tied it to the other pole.
Then, as I was bending to start milking her again, my belt buckle cracked, the belt came loose and my pants fell down...
And my wife came to the barn...
There are some situations, you are just not able to explain.
Overheard in a Subway the other day...
The Subway girl turned to the guy in front of me in the queue and said "Footlong?"
He answered, "Look lady, you're very attractive, but I'm not bending it in half for anybody"
Why does Bill Clinton keep getting kicked out of libraries?
Because he won't stop bending over all the pages...
A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the road..
and they see a boyscout bending over.
The Priest says "Man I'd screw that."
and the Rabbi replies "Out of what??"
I just vaccinated my kids.
Hope they stop bending my ear now.
"What does 'straight' mean?"
...asked the son.
Dad: Straight means something continuing in one direction without bending.
Son: Dad, is mom straight?
Dad: Yes son, she doesn't have any curves.
Overheard Tim Cook this morning when reading Samsung news about bending screens:
That's it! iFold.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street..
When they notice a little boy bending over to tie his shoe. The priest leans over to the rabbi and says "oh boy, I'd like to screw him" and the rabbi says "screw him outta vaut?"
What Do You Call A h**... Bending Over?
What do you call a h**... bending over?
Trampoline..........
The bear trap
A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his t**.... As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said "Man, how did this happen?"
The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his t**.... "Oh," exclaims the doctor, "The pain must have been excruciating!"
"It was," said the hunter. "The second worst pain in my life."
"Second worst? What could have been worse than that?"
"Coming to the end of the chain" said the hunter.
Yo momma's so dense, she got a job at NASA...
..bending light.
