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Bench Jokes

135 bench jokes and hilarious bench puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bench that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh! This article features a collection of hilarious park bench jokes, football bench jokes, bench press jokes, bench warmer jokes, bench warming jokes, bench player jokes, bench vice jokes, flasher jokes, stool jokes, and sit jokes. Read on and get ready to crack up!

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Funniest Bench Short Jokes

Short bench jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bench humour may include short beam jokes also.

  1. I want a gun that shoots wooden benches. I'd walk into a church with no seating and be like: *pew pew pew. pew pew. pew pew pew*
  2. Two homeless dudes sit on a park bench One askes the other: Did you bring bread for the pigeon?
    The other replies: No, I eat them without the bread.
  3. I was sitting on the bench at the playground ..a woman sitting next to me said "which one is yours? " I said "I haven't decided yet "
  4. I saw a woman crying on a bench. I asked her why she was crying and she said, "Sit next to me, and I'll tell you." So I sat, and she said, "This bench was just painted."
  5. What's the difference between an art student and a park bench? A bench can support a family.
  6. Three old guys are sitting on a bench in the park One says, "Windy today."
    Another says, "You idiot, it's Thursday."
    The third guy says, "Me too, let's go get a beer."
  7. A windy day Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench.
    The first says to her friends "gosh, it's windy today".
    The second says "no, it's Thursday".
    The third says "so am I. Let's get a drink".
  8. A blonde and a brunette is sitting on a bench. Out of nowhere, the brunette says: Look! A dead bird!
    The blonde gazes up into the air says where?
  9. Three old friends, Joe, Bob, and Vick are sitting on a park bench. Joe says, "Windy ain't it?"
    Bob says, "Nah, it's Thursday."
    Vick says, "Yeah I'm thirsty. Let's go get a beer."
  10. A meathead is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench press... 1! 3! 5! 7! 9!
    Another meathead:
    Do you even lift bro
    Meathead: Nah I only odd lift bro

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Bench One Liners

Which bench one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bench? I can suggest the ones about basket and bucket.

  1. What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA.
  2. What do you call a Jewish magician who only summons furniture? Bench Appearo.
  3. What do call a bunch of white people on a bench? The NBA
  4. What's the difference between a bench and the minimum wage? A bench can support a family.
  5. I can bench press 300 pounds. Not at the same time, but still...
  6. What's brown and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's Last Movement.
  7. What's brown, soft, and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's First Movement.
  8. What do you call a bench at Starbucks? A basic bench
  9. I hit 350lbs on the bench press today And I think I broke a rib after I fell on it..
  10. What do you call ten white folks on a bench? The NBA
  11. Whats the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf Mensch on a bench
  12. What's brown, three inches long, and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's first movement.
  13. If a powerlifter has weak legs... does his coach put him on the Bench?
  14. Yo mama's so fat, She tried to do push-ups, but just bench pressed the earth
  15. I just have something I need to get off my chest... I do bench presses without a spotter.

Park Bench Jokes

Here is a list of funny park bench jokes and even better park bench puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My impression of 2 old nearly deaf guys at the park sitting on a bench together. Old guy 1. Boy, it sure is windy.
    Old guy 2. No it's not! It's Thursday!
    Old guy 1. Yeah me too. Lets go get a beer.
  • What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? (hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench.
    Badum-tsss
  • What's the difference between an American and a park bench? Nothing, neither of them can support a family of four.
  • A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a bench at the park A young boy runs by. The priest says I would like to screw him. The rabbi asks screw him out of what?
  • What's the difference between a musician and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.
  • I was sitting on a park bench wondering why frisbees get bigger the closer they get to you And then it hit me
  • A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a park bench A young boy ran past them. The priest asks hey, hey, how'd you like to screw that one? The rabbi turns and says outta what?
  • Sat on a park bench wondering why a frisbee appears larger and larger the closer it gets.. Then it hit me
  • 3 elderly men are sitting next to each other on a park bench The first says, It's windy today.
    The second says, No it's Thursday.
    The third says, I'm thirsty, too. Lets get a beer.
  • Two old Jews were sitting on a park bench... ...one of them says, "Abie, I heard about the fire at your warehouse, I'm so sorry."
    Abie says "Shhh...it's tomorrow."

Bench Press Jokes

Here is a list of funny bench press jokes and even better bench press puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the man that bench pressed an entire supermarket? He got arrested for shoplifting.
  • My uncle died because he put on too much weight. Doctors said it was the worst bench press accident they'd ever seen.
  • Why did no one at the gym want to talk to the guy who was bench pressing cases of soda? He was just so depressing.
  • I was doing bench press with my Law School dropout friend yesterday... He was terrible. He couldn't even do the bar.
  • Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
    With him inside it.
Bench joke

Bench Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny bench player jokes and even better bench player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What position on the sports team does the benched player play? Left... out.
  • When is a field hockey player like a judge? When she sits on the bench.
  • Did you hear about the baseball player who dreamed of being a judge? He was benched.
  • TIFU by accidentally benching our star player on the last inning... Whoops, wrong sub

Football Bench Jokes

Here is a list of funny football bench jokes and even better football bench puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend was talking about his football team. I asked him what position he is. "Left bench."
Bench joke, My friend was talking about his football team. I asked him what position he is.

Ridiculous Bench Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about bench you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bench pranks.

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.
"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.
"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

An old man in tears

A young man taking a walk in a park comes across an elderly man sitting on a bench in tears. Touched by the poor man's sorrow, he kindly asks, "Please sir, why are you crying?"
The old man replies, "I have a beautiful 21 year old wife who makes love to me every night!"
Confused, the young man replies, "I still don't understand why you're crying."
The elderly man sobs, "I forgot where I live."

Dirty old man

An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him star, the teenager said "What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied "Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son."

Three little old ladies are sitting on a park bench...

... when a f**... jumps out and exposes himself, right there in front of them.
The first little old lady had a s**...! As well as the second...
Unfortunately the third lady's arms weren't long enough to reach.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when suddenly a man comes by and exposes himself to them. The first one had a s**..., as did the second, but the third one couldn't reach.

3 Old Women and a f**...

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.
Two of them have a s**..., and the third one couldn't
reach.

Two old men, one French and one Spanish were sitting on a park bench.

When a beautiful young girl in a miniskirt walks by. Just as she passes them a breeze comes along and lifts the girl's skirt up revealing she's not wearing p**.... The French man looks at the Spanish man and says "C'est la vie" and the Spanish man exclaims back "Se la vi, tambien."

3 ladies on a park bench

Three old women are sitting on a park bench one afternoon when a man in a trenchcoat walks up and exposes himself to them. The first woman had a s**.... The second woman had a s**.... The third woman's arms weren't long enough.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a f**... runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.
The first old lady has a s**....
The second old lady has a s**....
The third old lady can't reach that far.

A Chemist, a Biologist, and a Mathematician...

Were sitting on a bench in front of a hotel, and see two people enter, then three people exit. The Chemist claims that they must have been an error in the initial measurements, the biologist says they must have procreated, thus creating another person, the mathematician states that if one more person enters the building, the building would then be empty.

Three old women were sitting on a bench in the park...

chatting when a man wearing a trench coat approached and flashed them. The first woman instantly had a s**..., as did the second. The third one couldn't quite reach.

So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....

When all of the sudden a f**... comes by and, before they can reach for their canes, opens his trench coat and flashes them. The first old lady has a s**..., the second old lady has a s**..., but the third old lady couldn't reach that far.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench in the park...

When a wild f**... appears and opens up his trench coat to reveal his nakedness, the first old last has a s**..., the second old lady has a s**..., the third old lady couldn't reach.

Does your dog bite?

A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."
My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.

Three old women were sitting on a park bench...

...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a s**.... The second woman had a s**.... The third one couldn't reach.

A man sits down at a children's park

A man is sitting down at a bench enjoying some lunch during his lunch break. Overhead he watches children frolick and play. But then he sees a group of women quietly discussing (obviously) him.
Then all of the sudden one of the women confidently approaches the man. With an ounce of cockyness, in a bid to lure away the man, the women asks "So, which one is yours?"
The man replies "I haven't decided yet."

An old joke no one I know likes

Two economists are sitting on a bench. One says to the other "do you understand the economy?"
The other economist says "Let me explain, I'm an economist. It starts--"
The other interrupts "Oh no, I understand. I'm an economist too. We can both explain the economy, do you *understand* it?"

Baseball in Heaven

Moe and Sam, who were both 90 years old, loved baseball, and they had their entire life. One day, they were sitting together on a bench in their neighborhood when Moe turns to Sam and says:
"Will you promise me something? Promise me that if you die first and go to heaven, you'll come back and tell if there's baseball there."
Sam agreed, and made Moe promise the same. 3 months later, Sam died, and the next week Moe woke up in his sleep with someone calling his name.
"Who's there?" he called out.
"Moe! It's me Sam!"
"Sam! It's so good to hear you! How's heaven?" Moe asked.
"It's great, but I've some news, some good and some bad" Sam told him.
"Well tell me the good news first" Moe replied.
"Ok, the good news is that, there is baseball in heaven."
"That's great." Moe exclaimed, "What's the bad news?"
"Well, the bad news is that I was reading the lineup, and you're pitching on Friday."

So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day

...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."

My friends favorite

3 nuns are sitting on a bench when a man runs up and flashes them.
The first nun had a s**....
The second nun had a s**....
The third nun couldn't reach.

Bench Bros...

Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a b**... coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. o**... turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"

Two nuns

Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.

The Three Old Ladies & the f**...

Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a f**... approached from across the park.
The f**... came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a s**....
Then Maude also had a s**....
But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A duck walks into a bar

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some grapes. The bartender says, "no this is a bar. We do not sell grapes."
So the next day the duck walks into the bar and asks for some grapes. By this time the bartender gets very mad and says, "if you ask me for grapes again. I'll nail you to the bench."
The following day the duck walks in and asks for some nails and the bartender says "no."
So the duck was like oh sweet.. Got any grapes?

If life was like middle school

Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?
Criminal: Nope
Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum security prison. I also sentence the victim to forty years in prison.
Victim: Wait- what? That doesn't make any sense! *He* attacked *me*!
Judge: I don't care who started it.

Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench.

A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.

A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....

The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".

How do you get 4 old ladies to yell "s**...!"?

Get a 5th old lady to yell "Bingo!"

A woman sees a bunch of children playing on their phones in a sandbox while their teacher is sleeping on a bench. She runs to the teacher.

The woman tries to wake up the teacher.
"Hey, get up! Your children are going to run away!"
The teacher groans and says,
"No, they don't get free Wi-Fi anywhere else."

Three old ladies sat at a park bench when a man in an overcoat appeared in front of them, opened his overcoat, and flashed his n**... body.

The first old lady was overcome by the experience and had a s**.... The second old lady was also overcome by the experience and had a s**.... The third old lady didn't have a s**... at all -- her arms were too short.

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when

a f**... revealed himself to them. The first nun had a s**..., the second nun had a s**..., and the third nun couldn't reach.

Convert today! $5000

Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.
"What happened that took forever?"
"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."
"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"
"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...

A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.
Two of the ladies immediately have a s**.... The third couldn't reach.

A man is at his doctor ...

... And the doctor asks the man to pull down his pants and sit on the bench as the doctor examines him.
The doctor says "Don't worry, it's totally normal to get an e**... at this moment".
The man says "But I don't have an e**..." "No but I do" the doctor replied.

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: **"Anyone know whose phone this is?"**

Little Johnny is in class...

The teacher asks the class, "there are 5 birds on the line, someone shoots one bird, how many are left?"
Johnny says none, because when the gun went off, there birds flew away. The teacher says, no there are 4 but I like the way you're thinking.
Johnny says ok teacher, there are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream cones. The first one is lightly l**... the ice cream, the second is biting the ice cream and the third one gobbles the whole cone down. Johnny asks, which one is married? The teacher says, the one that gobbles the ice cream cone down? Johnny says, no, it's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking.

Three hard-of-hearing friends are sitting together on a bench.

One says "Wow, it sure is windy."
Another corrects, "No, it's Thursday."
The last one says "So am I, let's go inside and drink some tea."

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...

The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a s**.... The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a s**.... The third lady couldn't reach.

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.

The first lady had a s**..., the second lady had a s**..., but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.

2 men are sitting on a bench in a park, filled with children. Kids are having fun.

Man 1: "Kids are amazing. Look at them, playing, socializing... so cute!"
Man 2: "Yup."
Man 1: "My Timmy, right over there, likes to play soccer with his friends."
Man 2: "Cool."
Man 1: "Hey, which one is yours?"
Man 2: "Haven't decided yet..."

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a f**... approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a s**....
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

3 nuns are sitting on a bench.

A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a s**.... The third couldn't reach.

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench

when a f**... came by. The f**... stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
The first old lady had a s**...,
but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

Wet phone solution.

Person 1: If you drop your phone into some water, fill a bag with rice and put the phone in the bag and sit it on the kitchen bench overnight.
During the night, the rice will attract asians who will fix your broken electronics.
Person 2: Dude, that's not how it works. They would eat the rice too.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench seat when a f**... ran up & Flashed them.
The first old lady had a s**.....
The second old lady had a s**... too...
The third old lady couldn't reach.....

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... flashes them

the first nun has a s**...,
the second nun has a s**...,
the third nun couldn't reach

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.

Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.
Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.
Well, the first old lady immediately has a s**....
The second old lady has a s**... soon after.
The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Slapping Old People

An old man and old woman are sitting on their front porch on a bench one day just enjoying the scenery. All of a sudden the old woman looks at her husband and slaps him across his face. He looks and her and says "What was that for?" She said "That is for 40 years of horrible s**...!" He is quiet as he absorbs this newly discovered information. Quietly the old man reaches over and slaps his wife across her face. She says "What was that for?" He said "For knowing the difference!"

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...

Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a s**...! The other tried but she couldn't reach.

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all." the woman replied.
The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

Two nuns sitting in a park bench were flashed. One nun had a s**....

The other nun couldn't reach.

Three old ladies

were sitting on a bench in the park enjoying the sun. A f**... came up and exposed himself. The first one had a s**.... The second one had a s**.... The third one could not reach

Childen are playing on a kindergarten playground with their tablets...

...and the teacher is sleeping on a bench. A lady walks by and wakes the teacher up: "Aren't you afraid that the children will run away and get lost?" asks the lady. "I'm not afraid at all," says the teacher, "the WiFi signal covers the playground only."

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench...

... when a man came up and flashed them. Two of the ladies immediately had a s**..., but the other couldn't quite reach.

A man in a trench coat aproaches 3 elderly women on a park bench. He flashes the women.

The first lady had a s**...
The second one also had a s**...
The third lady couldn't reach

There are 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench..

A man in a trench-coat walks by and flashes them.
2 of the old ladies have a s**....
The other one couldn't reach that far.

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.

All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.
One old lady had a s**..., the other couldn't reach.

An exhibitionist exposed himself to 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench.

The first old lady immediately had a s**....
The second old lady tried to ignore it but ended up having a s**....
The third old lady decided she wouldn't touch it.

A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper...

After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intently at the youth's multicolored mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responded, "I once got drunk and had s**... with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."

There's 3 old ladies sitting on a bench

A man in a trench coat walks out, opens up the coat and flashes them. 2 of the old ladies have a s**.... The 3rd one doesn't because her arms are too short.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench

A f**... runs up and opens his coat.
The first woman immediately had a s**....
The second had one only a moment later.
The third didn't because she couldn't reach.

Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.

Surprised, the first lady had a s**.... The second lady also had a s**.... The third lady, though, declined to touch it.

Three little old ladies were on a bench when a n**... man walked by

The first little old lady... Had a s**...
The second little old lady... Had a s**...
But the third little old lady's arms weren't long enough to reach.

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench

Sister Carol lights a cigarette and Sister Beatrice declares:
'That's a filthy habit'
Sister Carol replies: 'blame Sister Mary, she washes the b**... things'.

What do you call a p**... that jumps over a park bench?

ParkWhore

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

Two blondes in Las Vegas were sitting on a bench talking at night ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?"

3 old ladies

3 old ladies were sitting on a park bench. A f**... comes over and rips open his raincoat. The first old lady had a s**.... The second old lady had a s**.... The third old lady couldn't reach it.

A man was trapped under a bench press

A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."

The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five".
The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"
"No" says the boy, "But he minded his own fckng business."

A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.

A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench. The c**... looks at the mask, and says they won't wear you either, huh?

Bench joke, A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.

jokes about bench