The Best 88 Ben Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ben jokes. There are some ben eli jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ben speling puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ben Jokes and Puns

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

A coma in a sentence can literally change everything. For example:

*Ben is in a hurry.*

*Ben is in a coma.*

I'm looking for a woman who has great tits and swallows

Signed: Ben the ornithologist

Why did Ben Shapiro go on a diet?

To destroy the lbs.

Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired?

Because they're working around the clock.


So if Ani is short for Anakin, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan... and Fives is short for CT-27-5555... and Artoo is short for R2D2... and Chewie is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper

Why does Kylo Ren have no friends?

Because his whole life he's Ben Solo

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."

Why does Kylo Ren never get girls?

Because for most of his life he's Ben Solo

Comas make a big difference in a sentence.

For example,

Ben is in a hurry.

Ben is in a coma.

I would never get on a plane with Ben Shapiro

He would try to destroy the left wing.

You can explore ben ethan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ben jeff dad jokes. There are also ben puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?

President Ben Franklin walks into a bar...

The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.

Now they'll have the time as well as the inclination.

It's surprising that the top of Big Ben has taken 5 years to complete.

They must have been working around the clock.

Why does Kylo Ren have a hard time making friends?

Because for most of his life, he's Ben Solo.

Rey: It's not to late Kylo, come with me.

Kylo: Sorry Rey, but I've always Ben Solo

Throwing Watches

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.

The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.

"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."

Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer?

Ben and Jerry

The Leaning Tower of Pisa and Big Ben never married...

One lacked the time while the other lacked the inclination.


















What is it called when Kylo Ren masturbates?

A Ben Solo.

Did you hear Ben Dover has a sister?

Yeah, her name is Ilene Dover

Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer have dinner together

Ted: hey Jeff you got any ice cream in the freezer?

Jeffrey: nah, only Ben and jerry

Why did Ben Shapiro destroy a KFC restaurant?

'Cause they served him left wings.

I work at Ben & Jerry's, often late at night, but never get robbed.

Because ice cream.

Angel.

Jeff is talking to Ben :

• My wife is an angel.

Ben tells him :

• Lucky you, mine is still alive...

(Politics) Why would it be unsafe to board a plane with Ben Shapiro?

He'd destroy the Left Wing.

An Israeli Joke

An El Al plane lands at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv the morning of December 25. As they land, the pilot makes the following announcement: "Please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened while we taxi to the terminal. To those of you seated with your seatbelts securely fastened, Merry Christmas. To those of you in the aisles getting your suitcases from the overhead bins, welcome home."

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and Jerry's when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

Bill: I've just got back from a holiday in Poole. Ben: In Dorset?

Bill: I'd recommend it to anyone.

Why doesn't Spiderman like rice?

It reminds him of Uncle Ben.

Guess who missed Spiderman Homecoming?

Uncle Ben.

Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish. How many fish are there?

Three. Ben's dog was just a red herring

I opened my birthday card and a load of rice fell out

I know exactly who sent it. It was my Uncle Ben.

Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.

One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a whorehouse nearby so all the roads were blocked."

Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his vulgar rhetoric. "Simmer down, you skanks", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."

I told my suicidal friend that time heals all wounds, and he agreed with me.

His body was later found at the bottom of Big Ben.

They say one person in every group of friends is gay.

I hope it's Ben, he's really cute.

Ben was at home looking for his super cool amazingly fantastic awesome dad

When it was clear his dad wasn't inside sitting, he went to the window and saw....

That his dad was outstanding

Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now?

Diabetes.
Ben has diabetes.

An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker's last pastry.

Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!

Did you hear about Starship teaming up with Ben & Jerry's?

They built this city on Rocky Road

I heard the Big Ben is getting renovated

The engineers are working around the clock.

Ben and Jerry are the two of the very few men

that many lesbians have actually taken to bed.

Since Ben Affleck has played Daredevil and Batman

Does that make him blind as a bat?

Why is Kylo Ren always so angry?

Because he's Ben Solo all his life.

What's spider-mans favorite brand of rice ?

Uncle Ben

Big Ben walks up to the club like...

...what up? I got a big clock.

Three insurance salesmen, Al, Ben, and Carl, are bragging about their accomplishments.

"Last month," says Al, "when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within six hours. The next day, I put a check in the mail for his family."

"That's nothing," says Ben. "Last week, when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within 30 minutes. That very day, I personally delivered a check to his family."

"Amateurs," says Carl. "Yesterday, one of my insured was fixing the roof of my office building when he fell off the roof. I handed him his check when he passed my window."

Why does Ben Shapiro hate NASCAR?

Because the cars only turn left

Good names

Barry McCockinner
Ben Dover
Eileen Dover
Dr. Hugh G. Rection

Give me other ones

I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation.

Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look.

Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are naming a flavor in honor of Jerry Sandusky?

They are calling it Raspberry Turnover

"Oh no, the rubber ripped!"

\- Alissa (21 y.o.) panics and runs into bathroom

\- Alfred (24) needs new tires

\-Lara (27) now has no pony-tail

\- Ben (28) holds his mask to his face

\-David (29) watches his friend during bungee-jump

What's Ben Shapiro's favorite game?

Mad Libs.

Uncle Ben would never discourage Peter from joining the Avengers.

But his aunt May.

I just learned about the nonstop construction on Big Ben right now

They really are working around the clock

Why did Paul Walker cross the street?

He wasn't wearing a seat belt

-my friend ben

A man was arrested for climbing up and headbutting Big Ben repeatedly...

Police can not identify the suspect but say his face rings a bell.

1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody stole my watch! This is Moscow."

My uncle is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London ...

he works around the clock.

Why is Kylo Ren always so angry?

He's Ben Solo too long.

[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

Did you hear about the gay Irish Dentists?

Ben Dover and Phil Mcavity!

Brits, Aussies, and Kiwis will most likely only get this:

Remember Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men?

One day, Bill says to Ben, "Flobadobglibglobbloobleglob!"

And Ben say, "If you loved me, you'd swallow that....."

What do you get...

When you cross Aunt Jemima with Uncle Ben?

Rice cakes!

Ted Bundy asks Jeffrey Dahmer you got any ice cream in the freezer?

Nah, just Ben and Jerry Jeffrey replies.

Uncle Ben has died.

That's it, no more Mr. Rice Guy!

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.

As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.

"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."

"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."

What did Ben Franklin call his pee hole?

Urethra Franklin.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be like Spider-Man

but now I want to be like Uncle Ben

Why is Ben 10 so resistant?

He always wears the Ohmnitrix

Bill: Ain't there someone else ya'll should be Weinstein yo' time on?

Harvey: Open bathrobes are just roomy, you know… Spacey.

Kevin: I choose to live as a gay man, so no woman can accuse me of Rattner out.

Brett: Hey, when I see a beautiful woman, I just Singer praises.

Bryan: Move along, no one gives Affleck about me.

Ben: Mine was just a little mistake. You need something at least a Sizemore.

Tom: It wasn't me! It was all Cosby drugs, man!

Ben Carson was asked why he didn't want to be Secretary of State.

He answered: "to...me....everyone...seems...like...they...are...always...Russian."

Did you hear that Trump Tower is being remodeled to add a clock that resembles Big Ben

I've heard people complain that it has tiny hands.

Took a peak at one of my Christmas presents.

A bag of rice? Thanks a lot Uncle Ben.

You know, I'm really glad Ben Carson didn't end up being Secretary of Education.

I really didn't want our kids learning that the food pyramid was built to store grain.

I saw Donald Trump walk by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller without stopping...

Turns out he really doesn't recognize Jewish Stars.

I'm a teacher...

Today I had a new student in my class.

I asked him his name, and he said his name was Ben, and that he has just moved from Germany.

So I asked him how old he was, and he said "9!" So I slapped him. I will not tolerate insolence in my classroom.

Why can't Kylo Ren get a date?

Because he has always Ben Solo.

Who are a fat person's two best friends

Ben and Jerry.

Uncle Ben

A true credit to his rice

Stoner: Where do I go to get some bongs?

English person: Big Ben, mate.

Uncle Ben has died...

I guess there's no more Mr. Rice guy. XD

What's a pirates least favorite letter

Dear user,
your internet access has ben cut of due to illegal usage
yours truly
comcast

Fred: "I can't believe Ben is in

the hospital. Just yesterday, I saw him with a gorgeous blonde."
Bob: "So did his wife."

Man: Hey man, do you have icecream in the freezer?

Jeffrey Dahmer: Nah dude, only Ben and Jerry.

Say what you want about Ben Carson the politician, but Ben Carson the person is truly inspiring.

He really opened a lot of young minds!

I went to Ben Wa's party last night.

I had a ball.

Where do potential Ben and Jerry employees go to learn the trade?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ben renovation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ben jeremy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes