Belts Jokes
36 belts jokes and hilarious belts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about belts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Belts Short Jokes
Short belts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The belts humour may include short belt buckle jokes also.
- What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share - The First Rule of Fight Club... ... Is to not talk about fight club.
The second rule of fight club...
Please keep your seat belt on at all times when the light is on. - The other day I joined all my watches together to make a belt... ...but then I realised it was a waist of time.
- What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland? "Everyone got seat belts on back there?"
- I spent all morning gluing watches together to make a belt... It was a complete waist of time.
- Did you hear about the guy who spent six months making a belt out of watches? He said it was a waist of time.
(as told to me last night by my 10 year old). - I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt... I'll admit it was a waist of time.
- New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts' Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.
- I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together. It was a big waist of time.
- My dad spent all day putting a clock on his belt It was a waist of time
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Belts One Liners
Which belts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with belts? I can suggest the ones about conveyor belt and seat belt.
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt.
- Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 star at best.
- Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three stars.
- I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock.
- I once tied all my watches to my belt Until I realised it was just a waist of time
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
- I once made a belt out of $100 bills Turns out it was just a waist of money
- Orion's Belt is a waist of space Terrible joke... 3 stars
- Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
- What do you call a belt made of dollar bills? A waist of money.
- I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow.
- Bought my wife a new belt and bag for Valentines day, The vacuum works just fine now.
- What did the 0 say to the 8? Why is your belt so tight?
- My dad used to beat me with his belt while he was still wearing it.
Happy Belts Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about belts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make belts pranks.
What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?
Fast10
Your seat belts
With the situation in Ukraine...
Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...
Why dont people wear watches on their belts?
Because it would be a waist of time.
Two belts walk into a bar
one was already waisted.
A joke from one of my friends who's an airline pilot
So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find any of those people on this flight. So sit back and please fasten your seat belts as we will shortly begin our ascent"
The next fast and furious film comes out soon.
Fast 10: Your seat belts.
You know that feeling of shame, when you put it in the wrong hole? You wonder why it doesn't fit, and when you look down you just get sad.
I'm talking about belts, of course.
What did you think!?
What do belts and woman have in common?
It gets tight when you get into the wrong hole.
Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia
Communist China:
WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN
Soviet reply:
WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS
Communist China:
SEND BELTS
Looking back at belts...
They're a real waist of cows.
Origami Belts
They're a waist of paper
p**... are like belts...
They go from hole to hole until the one that fits.
A cowboy walks into a bar...
...dressed entirely in paper, head to toe. The works. Paper hat, crinkled paper hat-band, grocery bag shirt, newsprint vest, origami guns in cardboard holsters, belts made of those paper links on Christmas trees, butcher's paper pants and chaps, tissue-box boots, and glossy magazine spurs. He nods to the bartender and takes a seat at the poker table. He plays for about half an hour, when the sheriff bursts in and arrests him for rustling.
Karate
is the ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.
Why are Korean Women's belts called the '38th Parallel'?
So that the belts could separate the mountains of the north from the dense forests of the south.
Some of the machinery and conveyor belts started to collapse and break inside the vinegar factory.
Some of the machinery and conveyor belts started to collapse and break inside the vinegar factory.
It was the biggest maltdown they had ever ever experienced
NYPD officer belts out Backstreet Boys over intercom New. York Post
That's what happens when you're under to much pressure
Why are guys with saggy pants bad at boxing?
Because they don't like belts
What do ghosts wear when driving somewhere?
They wear sheet belts.
What did St Patrick say when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?
"Seat belts on in the back there guys, or there's no stopping at the shop."
