Belongings Jokes
30 belongings jokes and hilarious belongings puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about belongings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Belongings Short Jokes
Short belongings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The belongings humour may include short possession jokes also.
- I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer... Plus it's super fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.
- I got fired from my job at the library... Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section.
- A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.
- Women are like hand grenades If you take off the ring you lose your house and half your belongings
- I really hate men that says women belongs in the kitchen How are they then supposed to clean the rest of the house?
- Why do the Russians put Z on all their military vehicles? Because sooner or later they will all belong to Zelensky
- I rescued a dog that belonged to a blacksmith. As soon as I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door
- I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray
- What's a pirate's favourite letter? You'd think it'd be R, but 'tis the C his heart truely belongs to.
- My grandpa returned from the war with one leg. We still don't know to whom that leg belonged.
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Belongings One Liners
Which belongings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with belongings? I can suggest the ones about baggage and luggage.
- 99.99% of people are idiots I'm just happy I belong to the 1%
- Women have eggs and milk in them... And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
- 99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately, I belong to the 1% of intelligent people
- 99.9% of people are dumb Fortunately, I belong to 1% of smart people
- What do you call men who make "women belong in the kitchen" jokes? Single.
- I've got my own private jet... ...but the rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my mom.
- Does Forrest gump belong to Gen X, Gen Y, or Gen Z? Nope. He belongs to Gen A.
- I have my own private jet. The rest of the jaccuzi belongs to my roommate.
- 99.9% of the population is dumb. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of smart people.
- What trees belong in a bathroom? Well toiletries of course
- I know every single phone number I just don't know who they belong to
- What generation does Forrest Gump belong to? Gen A
- I belong to a family of failed magicians... I've got two half-sisters.
- To what branch of the military to babies belong? The infantry.
- Go back to Party City, where you belong!
Quirky and Hilarious Belongings Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about belongings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stuff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make belongings pranks.
Which one doesn't belong: eggs, your wife, or a b**...?
The b**.... You can beat your eggs and your wife but you can't beat a b**....
One day, the President finds a n**... message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.
He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.
"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"The u**... belongs to the Vice President."
"What could possibly be worse than that?"
"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?
The man replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, the man replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach.
Considerate.
*An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless*
Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said "I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."
To which the radio jockey says " Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?"
Mr. Fieinstein says "No……. I just wanted you to play a sad song for him".
A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.
The officer looked in the back of Jeff's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?
Jeff replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, Jeff replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach."
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the f**....
A man and a woman argue over the custody of their child...
The woman screams, "The child is mine! I birthed him from my own flesh and blood and carried him through labour! All you did was screw me, you don't deserve him!"
The man calmly replies, "Tell me, if I put ten cents in a vending machine and a drink pops out, does it belong to me or the vending machine?"
