Following is our collection of funny Belly jokes. There are some belly intestines jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these belly fat belly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.
Because her boyfriend was blonde too...
Her boyfriend was blond as well.
His Middle Girth
Because blonde boys aren't all that bright either.
changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."
Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button?
Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.)
His friend approached him later during the party. He asked for the recipe to show his wife.
"You see, the secret trick is that I put the dough in my belly button to measure out the perfect size of each cookie," he tells his friend.
"That's absolutely disgusting," says the friend.
He answers, "Oh, you're not going to like the way I make donuts then."
You're under a vest
lol
An ambulance.
A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"
You can explore belly bellybutton reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean belly underneath dad jokes. There are also belly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Audi's.
βͺ..that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
You can thank me later.
A little boy walks in on his parents having sex and the mother throws on a robe and rushes him out of the room. "I was just hopping on daddy's big belly to make it smaller" she says, but the little boy tells her "That's useless because every time you go shopping the neighbor lady comes and gets on her knees and blows it right back up!"
Mummy and Daddy are having sex and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son.
son: mummy, what's going on?
mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy to flatten his belly
son: but why mummy? there's no point. the nanny just comes and blows it back up again.
...that i keep them safe and sound under a protective layer of beer belly.
The child asks,
"Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy's stomach last night?"
The mother replies,
"I have to do that, or else daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."
"That's not going to work, you silly!" responds the child.
"Why not?" asks the mother.
"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
Mom: "Because his belly has become fat recently, and I need to help him lose weight."
Boy: "But that won't work."
Mom: "Why not?"
Boy: "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back again."
The vet examines him, looks in his eyes, ears, mouth.
he picks up the dog and checks his legs and belly. finally, the vet says "i'm gonna have to put him down"
"because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man
"no, because he's really heavy."
"Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?" he says. The mom thinks fast and says "Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out." The boy says "well that will never work." "Why?" says the mom. "Because when you go out shopping on Saturdays, the lady next door comes over and blows it right back up again."
Because her boyfriend was blond too.
... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.
Her teacher asked her "What's that?"
"It's Jonah inside the belly of the whale from the Bible." She replied
The teacher, an atheist, told her "You know that didn't really happen."
She kept drawing "When I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah."
"What if he's not in heaven? The teacher admonished.
The girl, still drawing "Then you ask him"
You are mass and I am energy, she said pointing at my belly and laughing...
I think she'll be alright, I have a feeling.
'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said.
But how am i supposed to see the numbers?
With 2 eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, we can fill a womans belly for 9 months!
"No, usually in my belly button", I replied.
One shakes body parts and the other bakes shoddy tarts.
Her belly button.
Her BF is blonde too
Timmy: "Hey Lisa, I'll give you a dollar if we can go in the closet and you let me stick my finger in your belly button."
Lisa: "Okay."
They go into the dark closet.
Lisa: "Hey Timmy! That's not my belly button!"
Timmy: "That's okay. That's not my finger."
A liar.
The naval reserve.
^^^I'm ^^^so ^^^sorry...
Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy's big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.
Aha, I know why it isn't working then β the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the air back into him again.
I told her she is ovary acting.
then my belly is too
Blonde guys are dumb too
A search party of hunters formed and they went looking for the two and came upon two very large bears mating. They shot and killed the bears and cut the female bear open and found the polack's remains in her belly. One of the hunters replied "I guess the Czech's in the male"
A bear.
(This works best in a Jamaican accent)
"Steven, that won't help you, you know?"
"Oh it helps A LOT." The man says. "It's the only way I can see the numbers on the thing!"
Doctor says: Can you point to where it hurts and show me?
Man points at head: Ow! Points at shoulder: Ow! Points at knee: Ow! Points at belly: Ow!
Doctor examines him and says: Nope you're not dying, you just have a broken index finger.
You're under a vest.
Her boyfriend was blonde too.
Because blonde men are stupid too.
crabdomen
Your under a vest.
Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.
In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.
Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.
Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it's feared staff may get a raw deal.
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?
"I have to do that, or dad's belly gets really fat, bouncing on his belly keeps him skinny."
That's not going to work.
"Why baby?"
Because the babysitter keeps blowing him up again!
Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.
I don't like her chances.
Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.
There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they might get a raw deal.
Kamikaze Bank shares have nose-dived.
500 jobs at Karate Bank have been chopped.
It's sea men trying to get to the navel base.
Because blonde guys are stupid too.
In a naval reserve!
It's a novel naval navel navy nova novel
Some guy looked at my beer belly in the bar last night and asked sarcastically "Is that Budweiser or Heineken?"
My response: "There's a tap underneath, taste it for yourself."
....weirdos there wouldn't stop checking out my belly.
Because blonde guys aren't that smart either.
His boyfriend was blond, too.
Little Johny walks to his mom and starts asking her about what he had seen the previous night while sneaking around the house.
Little Johny: Mommy, mommy why ware you jumping on daddy's stomach last night?
Mom: Johny you're old enough to know the truth... your dad is getting obese so I need to jump on top of him to help him loose the belly.
Little Johny: I don't think that's going to work mommy.
Mom: Why do you say that?
Little Johny: When you leave for work the neighbor comes in and blow him back up.
I told this girl I had an outtie and her eyes lit up
An Audi.
I said to her, 'my nose is getting bigger every day, so is my belly, I've got more wrinkles than a pug, I've got more hair coming out of my nose than I've got on my head, the skin on my neck is so loose I look like a turkey. I could really use a compliment.'
My wife said, 'your eyesight is absolutely perfect.'
Because blonde men are stupid too.
Shaking a bottle of turpentine. The local priest walking by, stopped and asked what he had in the bottle. Johnny said, this is the most powerful liquid in the world, turpentine. The priest said, the most powerful liquid in the world is holy water. A couple drops on a pregnant woman's belly, and she will pass a baby boy . Johnny said, That's nothing! A couple drops of this turpentine on a cat's ass, it will pass a motorcycle.
A woman reports her husband's disappearance to the police. They ask her for a description, and she says, He's six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair.
Her friend says, What are you talking about? Your husband is five-feet-four, bald, and has a huge belly.
And she says, Who wants that one back?
So a bull is walking through the jungle one day, bragging about his enormous size and impressive horns. He even boasted that he was afraid of nothing in the jungle. Well, a lion heard this boasting and laughed as he proceeded to kill the bull and eat him. After getting his belly full, he roared with delight that he was the king of the jungle!!!! A nearby hunter heard the roaring and shot the lion.
Moral of the story? Sometimes when you are full of bull it's better to keep your mouth shut
"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging belly. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said Sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little Fart!"
They found it by writing the whole number on your mom's belly.
The recent tsunami in Japan has badly affected the banking sector.
Origami bank has folded.
Sumo bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai bank has cut back some of its branches.
Karaoke bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped.
She saysβ¦ (a bit startledβ¦) ermβ¦ that's a baby your daddy gave me thatβ¦
So the little boy walks off to find his dad with a confused look on his faceβ¦
daddy did you give mummy a baby ?
yeh I did son, that's right why do you ask�
well don't give her another, she ate the last one!
Because it had gas.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the belly belly laugh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working belly big belly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.