Bells Ringing Jokes
128 bells ringing jokes and hilarious bells ringing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bells ringing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bells Ringing Short Jokes
Short bells ringing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bells ringing humour may include short bells jokes also.
- I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- A guy walks into a bookstore and asks for a book on Pavlov and Schrodinger. The book keeper says it rings a bell but he doesn't know if it is there or not.
- "A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrödinger's cat." "The librarian says, 'It rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's here or not!'"
- A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
- Have you heard about the man who goes around knocking on doors? "Doesn't ring a bell"
"That's him!" - The secret to Pavlov's hair? Just a classical conditioner.
(I hope the name rings a bell) - A guy asks a librarian if she has a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat She says, "It rings a bell but I can't be certain."
- A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat?" The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I don't know if it's here or not."
- I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."
Share These Bells Ringing Jokes With Friends
Bells Ringing One Liners
Which bells ringing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bells ringing? I can suggest the ones about bell ringing and bell ringer.
- [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room? Air Conditioning
- Someone asked me if I knew who Pavlov was… I said, No, but his name rings a bell.
- The name Pavlov rings a bell.
- "Have you ever heard of the Hunchback of Notre Dame?" "It rings a bell"
- Yo mama so dumb she tried to ring Taco Bell.
- I asked my Dad if he'd heard of Pavlov's Dogs He said It rings a bell
- Psychology Professor: Who here has heard of Pavlov? Me: Rings a bell
- People always use "Pavlov" as a reference. But the name doesn't ring a bell.
- Does anyone know who Pavlov is? His name rings a bell...
- Quasimodo. That name rings a bell.
- Does the telephone remind you of anything? No, but it rings a bell
- Ever heard of the "door knocker"? No? It doesn't ring a bell?
- Do you know that percussionist in the band? Yeah, he rings a bell.
- Q: Did you hear that Quasimodo is on strike? A: Doesn't ring a bell!
- Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym? It's a dumb-bell.
Comedy Bells Ringing Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about bells ringing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean church bells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bells ringing pranks.
Yo mamma is so poor when people ring the door bell they hear the toilet flush.
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who's obviously been drinking for a while.
The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times.
The guy says to himself "I'll help this guy get home safely" and helps him out to his car
The guy falls down five more times.
He drives him up to the address on his license, takes him up to the door.
The guy falls down 8 times on the way...and rings the bell.
A lady answers the door and says "Oh how nice, you brought home Harry. But what did you do with his wheelchair?"
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.
Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"
Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."
Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"
Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."
Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"
Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell.
A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”
He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
“Well,” he snarled at the kid, “what do you want?”
“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself…?”
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom."
One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door.
He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away."
She says: "What about the good in bed part?"
He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING d**...!
Jesus walks into a hotel, rings the bell, and waits for the receptionist to come out.
He looks her dead in the eye, slams three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
What do you call an onion ring shaped like a bell?
An onion ding!
In medeval times, the town bell toller died, and the priest was looking for a replacement
The next day, a gent showed up and said he was perfect for the job. Without introducing himself, he charged up the bell tower steps, with the priest following behind.
Instead of pulling the rope to ring the bell, the man backed up to the wall of the tower, put his head down, and charged like a bull at the bell. The bell rang out louder than ever before. The man shook the cobwebs out of his head, backed up, and ran at the bell and rang it a second time.
The priest was impressed, but asked the man if he could do it repeatedly, because at noon, he'd have to ring the bell 12 times.
The man backed up, put his head down, and ran at the bell a third time. Unfortunately, he hit off center, glancing off the bell, and fell forward, stubling out the portico in the tower - down 100 feet to the street below.
The priest ran down the stairs and out to the street in a panic, and said to the crowd gathered around, "Does anyone know this man?"
A bystander said, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
A monastery's bell ringer died and the monks put an ad in the paper for a new one.
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs s**... into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
Costume Ideas
For Halloween, you should dress up as Pavlov. Not everyone will get it, but it should ring a bell.
A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her s**... life.
Two weeks go by and nothing. Finally one day the door bell rings. She opens the door and sees a no-armed, no-legged man.
She looks at him and asks, "How do you expect to fulfill my wishes?"
He explains, "I have no arms to hit you with and no legs to run away."
Then she says, "And the s**... life?"
He looks at her and says, "I rang the door bell, didn't I?"
Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."
So there's this Irish Pub..
in Ireland of all places. Anywho, its getting towards the end of the night and the bartender rings the bell calling, "Last drinks! Last drinks! And anyone who can come up with the best cheers gets their last drink for free!"
After hearing this everyone in the pub runs up to the bar and starts shouting at the bartender their best cheers. The bartenders hears a few of them over the noise and dismisses them with a wave of the hand, "No, none of those will do!"
When its gets quiet one man raises his beer, "I have one! I say cheers to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!"
Everyone raises their beer in approval and this man gets his free beer.
Later that night this man walks home and gets into bed with his wife. His wife wakes and turns to her husband, "You're home late."
"Yeah, well I won the cheers!"
"Ah, what'd you say?"
"What'd I say.." The man thinks for a moment, he doesn't want to get in trouble with his wife, "I said cheers to spending the rest of my life.. at church next to my wife!"
"Aww, such a lovely thing to say" exclaims the wife and she goes back to sleep.
The very next day the wife is waiting in line at the local bakery. A man who heard the cheers at the pub walks up to the wife and says, "You know your husband devoted the cheers to you last night."
To which the wife replies, "Yeah I don't understand it, I mean he hasn't been down there in years and I have to pull his ear to come!"
A man is driving his new mustang
home from work one day. He spots an incredibly obese man sitting on the curb next to a bicycle, breathing heavily. He stops and asks the man what's wrong. The man said that his doctor told him he needed to excersise and lose some weight. As he could barely run he decided to ride his bike. However, on his first day out he had ridden to far from home and couldn't make it back.
The man has time before he needs to be home so he says"I have a rope in my car I can pull you home. If I get going to fast ring this bell and I will slow down."
When they have only gone a little ways down the road a camaro pulls up next to the mustang. As camaros and mustangs are wont to do they race. A police officer spots them and radios to his partner "I've got a mustang racing a camaro" to which his partner replies alright I'll stop them." The first officer replies"its not them I'm worried about its the three hundred pound guy on a bike ringing a bell to get them to pull over so he can pass that has me concerned."
Sunday Morning s**...
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Q & A with Ms Sonia Ghandi
Ms Sonia Ghandi is visiting a school. She goes to one class, gives a brief statement and says to the class full of rural children, "Ask me anything!"
So Pappu stands up. "Madam Sonia-ji, I have three questions. One, why are you not the prime minister of India; Two, who ordered the police to attack the peaceful demonstrators at Ramlila Maidan; Three, how much money do you have in your Swiss bank accounts."
Before Ms Ghandi can answer, the lunch bell rings. So after 30 mins the children and Ms Ghandi are back in the class. This time, Bubbly raises her hand. "Madam Sonia-ji, I have only questions. One, how did the lunch recess bell ring 40 minutes early; and Two, where is Pappu."
Pavlov goes on a trip...
But when someone rings a bell he realizes he forgot to feed the dog.
There once was an old cathedral in rural England...
There once was an old cathedral in rural England. It was near a small village and most of the people that lived there attended church every week. This was a sad time for the people of this village, as the much beloved bell ringer for the church had fallen ill and died.
The head minister of this cathedral had taken the death quite hardly, as he had been good friends with the man. Reluctantly, he put up a notice in the village square that they would be needing a replacement bell ringer. He knew that a man for the job was needed before the f**... of the old ringer.
Now, the day after notice was posted, the minister was in his study reading when a young man no older than 20 walked in. The minister looked up and asked, "What can I do for you, young man?"
The man, visibly eager to speak, replied, "I'm here about the posting you've made. I want to be the next bell ringer." There was an enthusiasm on this man's face that caught the minister's attention.
The minister, somewhat recognizing this enthusiasm, inquired, "Well that may be something we could discuss. But first, I must know, have I seen you here at the church or around town? You seem rather familiar."
"No, sir, I don't believe we've met before," the man replied.
"Ah, well then, it's very nice to make your acquaintance," said the minister. He reached out to shake the young man's hand, when he noticed something very out of the ordinary. The man had no arms! The minister pulled back his hand and apologized for the gesture.
"It's no problem, sir, I've been without them for my whole life, I'm quite used to that." The man redirected the conversation back to the job. "Now, I'd really like to talk about becoming the next bell ringer!"
The minister, slightly taken aback, wondered whether the armless man was serious. "My dear boy, surely you must be joking. You've got no arms! I mean no offense, but there is no way you could pull those heavy ropes to ring the bells."
The young man still had an eagerness about him, insisting that the minister give him a shot. "I can do it, let me show you! Please sir, I know I can do it. Come with me up the bell tower and I'll show you!"
At this point, the minister was wondering whether the man had some sort of brain damage as well. There was absolutely no way a man with no arms could ring those bells. But, being the generous man that he was, the minister decided to at least humor the man and go up into the bell tower with him.
Once they reached the top of the tower where the bells were held, the minister asked how the young man was going to ring them. "Like this," he simply replied with an odd smile on his face. The man took some step back towards one open arches that made up the bell tower, disregarding the ropes that hung next to him. He began walking slowly, then burst into a sprint, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
The minister couldn't believe it. This armless man had just mad the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard come out of that bell. Astounded, he turned to the man and exclaimed, "Dear boy, did you really just do that?"
Unfazed, the young man responded excitedly, "Yes sir! Would you like me to do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the man once again stepped back to the arch, took a running start, jumped, and smacked his forehead against the bell.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG
Now, the minister was truly speechless. Although his previous thoughts about brain damage were almost certainly proven, he simply could not believe how beautiful the sound was that the bell made. He looked at the man, seeing no sign of harm to his head, but only a smile that showed how confident he was. The minister then made the final decision to make this young man the next bell ringer.
A few days had passed, and it was time for the f**... for the former ringer. Nearly the entire village showed up to mourn his passing. As the f**... dragged on as only funerals can, the newly appointed ringer made his way up the tower to give the bells a good BWONG-ing after the final eulogy had ended. This was his biggest break, his chance to show the entire village that he could be a great ringer. The excitement from that first day had swelled up until this point.
He listed for the sound of the last "Amen" from the congregation. It was his time now. The armless man closed his eyes to take it all in. After a deep sigh, he took some steps back, broke into a run, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell. Then, to his surprise, he tripped on a large old nail as he landed, stumbled toward one of the arches, and, unable to balance himself, fell out of the tower to his death.
BWOOOOOOOOONNNG ... ... ... SPLAT!
The f**...-goers heard this strange sound and all rushed outside to see what was the matter. To their surprise, they found the newly appointed ringer dead on the ground. The crowd began talking among themselves, wondering who knew this man and whether any of his family was present. One man thought he had recognized the deceased man earlier with a family, but couldn't quite put his finger on it whether it was him or not. Everyone could agree that this man looked familiar.
As the minister finally reached the body through the crowd, he knelt down and wept beside him. A woman in the crowd asked, "Father, did you know who this man was?"
"No," he solemnly answered, "but his face sure rang a bell."
Dat Riddim
A woman asked her grandmother how her grandfather had died. "He had a heart attack while we were making love one Sunday morning," Granny said. Horrified, the granddaughter told her that two people that old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh, no," said Granny. "Many years ago we realized that ringing church bells provided the perfect rhythm: in on the ding and out on the d**...." She paused, wiped away a tear, and continued, "But then the ice-cream truck came along."
Twelve Italian priests...
...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally n**..., in a garden while a s**..., beautiful, big breasted, n**... model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
As he bent over to pick it up… all the other bells started to ring!
Does this ring a bell?
I can't recall the hunchback of Notre Dame's name
Does Quasimodo ring a bell?
A man was arrested for climbing up and headbutting Big Ben repeatedly...
Police can not identify the suspect but say his face rings a bell.
A man saw a little kid struggling to ring a doorbell.
A man was walking down a street when he saw a little kid struggling to reach and ring a doorbell. The man decided to help the boy and rang the bell. After doing this, he smiled and asked the boy:
"what now?"
The boy said:
"now, we run".
I went to the library and asked if they had any books on Schrödinger's cat and Pavlov's dog.
The librarian said that they may or may not have it, but that it rings a bell.
Yesterday I saw one of those Salvation Army bell ringing guys outside the grocery store and he looked JUST like a zombie...
Dead ringer.
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**..., 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
I asked a librarian
About some books about Pavlov's dogs and Schroedinger's cat. She said it rings a bell, but doesn't know if it's here or not.
Pavlov hears a bell ring...
He says, "Aw! I forgot to feed the dogs again!"
Modern art is easy to understand.
If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance.
I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.
He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.
#b**... b**... b**...
He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"
I replied, "I don't think so, but his face rings a bell"
My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project.
I remember the time I did that, in middle school.
Rings A Bell.
What do Santa's Elves ring before going into battle?
Slay-Bells
Have you heard of Lloyd's of London?
It rings a bell...
Napping at work
Sometimes, when I'm sure people can only see the back of my head, I enjoy sneaking in a quick catnap at work. They never last too long though, invariably someone rings the bell telling me they want to get off my bus.
Pavlov walks into a cafe...
...and orders a breakfast. "Sure," the lady says. "I'll let you know when it's ready." After a little while, she places his tray on the counter and rings the bell. Pavlov leaps up and exclaims, "Oh my gosh, I have to feed the dogs!"
A man walks into a library
and asks the librarian at the info desk if they have any books on Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat. The librarian thinks for a moment before replying "It rings a bell but I'm not sure whether it's there or not."
A village of mathematical functions is slumbering
when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential operator calmly replies: but I am d over dt, and proceeds to s**... the poor exponential.
What do you call the guy with no arms or legs that works up in the bell tower?
What do you call the guy with no arms or legs that works up in the bell tower?
I can't remember his name, but his face sure does ring a bell.
The one of many dad jokes I heard last night.
I don't remember all the characters' names from "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"
but Quasimodo rings a bell.
They play this drinking game in heaven
Every time a bell rings, an angel takes a shot of Redbull
I asked my local campanologist if he knew what a xylophone was?
He said it didn't ring a bell
I saw justice in action today for the first time ever.
I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah's Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.
B.F. Skinner walks into a hotel
...and rings the reception bell.
And rings the reception bell.
And rings the reception bell.
A receptionist comes.
A rather old one.
Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.
"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"
His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."
Campanology
Now theres a hobby that rings my bell.
tldr: I like ringing bells.
Do you remember why Bill got fired as a Salvation Army Santa Claus?
Doesn't ring a bell.
Netflix should make a series about what Mormons say before they ring the door bell.
I would binge watch the shucks out of it.
Do you know Pavlov?
It rings a bell...
Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
Someone asked me if i knew what a clapper was.
I said, "It rings a bell".
Why don't elephants ride tricycles?
Because they don't have a thumb to ring the little bell.
Too guys trying to escape a prison
Last fence they have to jump has bells on it. First guy jumps, touches the wires and the bells ring.
They guard says:- Who goes there?
The guy makes a noise:-Meow!
Guard says: -oh, its just a cat.
Second guy jumps, hits the wires, bells ring.
Guard says: -Who goes there?
Second guy:-Just another cat.
Friend: Have you heard of the school that was closed recently?
Me: It doesn't ring a bell
Went to the library to get a book co-written by Pavlov and Schroedinger.
Librarian said "it rings a bell but I'm not sure if we have it in or not"
A cute little boy dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating....
He goes to the door and rings the bell. A sweet old lady opens the door and says, "Oh, what a handsome pirate you are! But where are your buccaneers?"
The cute little boy replies, "Under my buccan hat!"
A man walked into the library and asked the librarian if the library had any books about Pavlov's dog and schrodinger's cat?
After thinking a moment the librarian responded," It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's here or not."
If a Malaysian and a Korean took part in a competition...
in which whoever rings a bell first loses, who will win?
The Korean, because Malaysian Ringgit, and Korean Won.
Lecturer: "have any of you heard of pavlov's dogs?"
Student: "... It rings a bell."
My friend asked me if I knew what campanology was
I said the name rings a bell
I heard this joke about tinnitus, but I forgot how it goes . . .
Is this ringing a bell for anyone?
So this hot babe goes to a fancy dress party stark n**... and rings the bell.
———————————————————
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The host opens the door and sees her standing there brazenly, tapping her forefinger on her chin.
Host: What are you?
Hot babe: A self-tapping screw!
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, holding a
big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips
her knickers off and says
'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**...,
'You must have a vase somewhere!'
Who invented the first telephone?
Does it ring any bells?