JokoJokes

Belgium Jokes

45 belgium jokes and hilarious belgium puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about belgium that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest Belgium jokes from around the world! From the wild football fans of the Red Devils to the famous aviators who flew in the time of the Kaiser, these jokes will have you laughing out loud. Take a look at the humorous side of Belgium beer, Dutch culture, and more!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Belgium Short Jokes

Short belgium jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The belgium humour may include short hamburg jokes also.

  1. I was on holiday in Belgium... Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said "you lost something ".
    "What?" I asked surprised.
    "The war" he replied.
  2. I thought my wife was going on a Belgium holiday to buy chocolates. When she got back, I found out she'd actually been on holiday in Paris buying curtain materials. It was a fabrication.
  3. Two germans are on vacation France had closed the border at Germany, so they couldn't get through. The germans enter through Belgium instead.
  4. Whats the similarity between budweiser and Belgium? Germans refuse to believe they are even there
  5. I made a Belgium waffle this morning, This afternoon I'm going to make a Frenchman talk nonsense.
  6. Why are kids from the capital of Belgium always so tall? Because people from Brussels sprout!
  7. What is the thickest book in the world? A Belgium joke book, it contains one joke, the rest is explanation.
  8. What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles? Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.
  9. Another Dutch joke about the Belgiums Two Belgians are walking in the desert with a car door. One of them complains that its too hot. The other one says: "just roll down the window."
  10. Have you heard about the Belgium guy that drowned? He threw his cigarette in the sea, he then jumped in the water because he forgot to put it out.

Share These Belgium Jokes With Friends




Belgium One Liners

Which belgium one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with belgium? I can suggest the ones about dutch and surrender.

  1. How many hearts can the Belgium football team break at once? About a brazilian...
  2. What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts
  3. I didn't want Belgium to win I wanted France Toulouse
  4. Germany and France go to war. Who loses? Belgium
  5. What do you call a kid from Belgium? A Brussel sprout.
  6. Where did the promiscuous girl from Belgium go to plant her flowers? ze Hoegaarden.
  7. France and Germany are at war again, who loses? Belgium
  8. Someone's just beaten me with a map of Belgium... and now I'm all covered in brugeses
  9. A famous German proverb: Belgium is like school. It's something you have to go through.
  10. A decently funny war joke Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
    Belgium
  11. What do you call a good american beer? Imported from Belgium
  12. Do you know where the Belgium waffle design comes from? From the German tank tracks.
  13. What do you call a religious guy from Belgium? Ned Flanders
  14. Why was Belgium so useless in the Congo? They always needed a hand.
  15. Where does a campanologist go on holiday? Belgium or Belgrade

Belgium joke, Where does a campanologist go on holiday?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about belgium can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of belgium puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Belgium Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about belgium you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make belgium prank.

In the 70s...

A Russian asks for a meeting with the President
\- I would like a passport and a visa to Belgium - asks the Russian man
\- But aren't you fine in Russia? - asks the president
\- Hm, really, I can't complain
\- So, maybe you don't like your work there?
\- Hm, really, I can't complain
\- Maybe it is the life there that you don't like?
\- Hm, really, I can't complain
\- Then it is socialism that doesn't satisfy you?
\- Hm, really, I can't complain
\- But now I'm confused. Excuse me but why do you want to go to Belgium? - asks the president
\- BECAUSE THERE I CAN FINALLY COMPLAIN!!!

Can Flemish and Dutch people understand each other?

Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"
They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".
The man behind the counter answers "Ah, I see that you're Flemish" They reply: "Huh, how? Is our Dutch not that good?"
"No, you both speak it perfectly, but this is a dry cleaners"

Brits

They drive a German Car
They go to Irish Pubz
To drink Belgium beer
They get a Chinese Takeaway on the way back
They sit on Swedish furniture
They watch American films
On a Japanese TV
Most of all though they are suspicious of all things foreign
Courtesy of Rick Wakemam who I'm doing lighting for tonight. (super chill guy btw)

Why will Belgium go to war?

*This is a joke my dutch grandfather told me, the dutch make fun of Belgians*
Why will Belgium go to war with the Netherlands in 50 years?
Because that's when they understand the Belgian jokes they make about them.
Why will Belgium go to war with France in 50 years?
They can't find the Netherlands.

During the USA - Belgium game, a couple of dudes ran onto the field.

I imagined the English commentator would have said this:
"It appears a wit has run onto the pitch."
"A wit, sir?"
"Yes. Two half-wits."

Watching Olympic rowing with my wife.

Me: Oh, the announcer just said the Germans got in via the repechage.
Wife: What's that?
Me: I have no clue.
Wife: I think it means they went through Belgium.

Popular German "joke" in Belgium

Ask a german guy:
Q: Haben sie etwas verloren? (Did you lose something?)
A: "confused" Nein. (No)
Q: Jawohl, den krieg, zweimal! (Yes you did, the war. Twice!)
Proceed to buy him a drink :)

Belgium joke, Why was Belgium so useless in the Congo?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these belgium jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.