Being Sick Jokes

5 being sick jokes and hilarious being sick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about being sick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Happy Being Sick Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What is a good being sick joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Who can drink 5 litres of petrol without being sick?

j**... can.

Being sick and tired of all the excess fat, one day I decided to burn it off. And then I started running...

..from the police for setting my wife on fire.

What do you call being sick because of an airport?

Terminal illness

I just blew a massive load into a tissue.

I hate being sick.

A pint, a dog and an old lady

A guy goes into a bar and as he orders a drink he notices a jar at the end of the bar full of money. He says to the barman "what's that about?" to which the barman replies "you pay a tenner and have to complete 3 challenges, if you are successful you win all the money in the jar. Would you like to try it?" The man says he'll think about it and sits down with his drink. After about 8 pints the man staggers up to the bar and slams a tenner on down in front of the barman, "Okay pal, I'll have a go".
So the barman says "ok, challenge number 1, here's a pint of tequila, you have to drink all of that without coughing it up or being sick". It takes the man a couple of minutes but he finishes the drink.
"well done" says the barman. "The next challenge, there's a guard dog outside with a bad tooth, you need to go out there and remove it. After that, there's a woman upstairs, she's 83, never had s**... in her life. I want you go up there and show her a real good time".
So the man goes outside and for about 15 minutes there is a lot of barking, shouting and screaming. Then after a while it goes quiet. The barman walks outside to find out what's happened... The dogs dead. The man who's out of breath turns to the barman and says "Right... Where's this old lady with the bad tooth?"

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jokes about being sick