The Best 21 Beijing Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Beijing jokes. There are some beijing citizens jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these beijing stealth puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Beijing Jokes and Puns

Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes?

To get a breath of filtered air.

24-year old Tai Jinhai came in first during the Beijing Marathon, but they gave the gold medal to the son of a prominent party official instead.

To this day, the Chinese government refuses to acknowledge Tai won.

In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...

"Because they make the toys."

Beijing joke, In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking t

My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn't awarded the gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

264 students died in a school fire...

in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside.


My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal.

China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.

Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing?

To get some fresh air

Beijing joke, Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing?

Did you hear about the school that burned down in Beijing, China?

25 children died. It was truly tragic.

And the worst part is, they all got out of the building fine, but they just ran around it and then darted back inside.

An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation

The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."

The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."

The Malaysian said, "I have the best stealth plane. MH370 hasn't been found for 4 years."

I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.

Putin and Medvedeev talking

- We need to change these time zones, they are giving me a big headache, says Putin
-Why? asks Medvedeev
-I'm calling Beijing to give my congrats for their national holiday and they tell me it's tomorrow. I call Warsaw to express my condolences for the airplane crash in Smolensk and they tell me the plane didn't take off yet!

You can explore beijing opium reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean beijing euthanasia dad jokes. There are also beijing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My friend from Beijing asked me to suggest some nice Taylor Swift songs so I asked him to listen to "T.S.1989" album

I haven't heard anything from him since

Last year, Taylor Swift went on a world tour called TS 1989

That must've been an awkward stop in Beijing

My new girlfriend was born in Beijing.

Now I eat Chinese every night.

Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about.

It was just the start of China's two-child policy.

One of my friends from Beijing is a big fan of Taylor Swift ..

He asked me to suggest some good album of her .

So I told him to try TS 1989 .

I haven't heard from him ever since .

Beijing joke, One of my friends from Beijing is a big fan of Taylor Swift ..

What is it called when two Rappers Get in a Rap Battle in Beijing?

Beijing Beef

Did you hear about the mishap at the Asia Summit?

The Chinese government is seeking answers after the recent Beijing Conference. Apparently, several of Obama's and Putin's private bodyguards were the last to use one of the royal toilets before it was reported clogged.

Obama announced that he will ask congress to create a commission to investigate the incident while Putin denies that his forces ever entered the bathroom.

There's a building in Beijing with ten thousand shops in it.

The Great Mall of China.


You know, I really don't understand how anyone can say that Beijing has a smog problem.

Just take a look around...oh wait, you can't.

What do you call a group of terminally ill teens in Beijing, all of whom want to end their lives?

Youth-in-Asia

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the beijing shanghai jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working beijing china piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes