Beijing Jokes
23 beijing jokes and hilarious beijing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beijing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Beijing Short Jokes
Short beijing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beijing humour may include short euthanasia jokes also.
- My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn't awarded the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
- 264 students died in a school fire... in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside.
- My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal. China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.
- I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms. Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.
- My friend from Beijing asked me to suggest some nice Taylor Swift songs so I asked him to listen to "T.S.1989" album I haven't heard anything from him since
- Last year, Taylor Swift went on a world tour called TS 1989 That must've been an awkward stop in Beijing
- Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about. It was just the start of China's two-child policy.
- One of my friends from Beijing is a big fan of Taylor Swift .. He asked me to suggest some good album of her .
So I told him to try TS 1989 .
I haven't heard from him ever since . - You know, I really don't understand how anyone can say that Beijing has a smog problem. Just take a look around...oh wait, you can't.
- What do you call a group of terminally ill teens in Beijing, all of whom want to end their lives? Youth-in-Asia
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Beijing One Liners
Which beijing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beijing? I can suggest the ones about stealth and china.
- Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air.
- Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing? To get some fresh air
- My new girlfriend was born in Beijing. Now I eat Chinese every night.
- What is it called when two Rappers Get in a Rap Battle in Beijing? Beijing Beef
- There's a building in Beijing with ten thousand shops in it. The Great Mall of China.
- What Beijing's favorite fruit? Mandarin.
- Straight of Beijing... crazy m**...' f**...' named: Rice Cube
Entertaining Beijing Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about beijing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean empire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beijing pranks.
24-year old Tai Jinhai came in first during the Beijing Marathon, but they gave the gold medal to the son of a prominent party official instead.
To this day, the Chinese government refuses to acknowledge Tai won.
In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...
"Because they make the toys."
Did you hear about the school that burned down in Beijing, China?
25 children died. It was truly tragic.
And the worst part is, they all got out of the building fine, but they just ran around it and then darted back inside.
An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation
The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."
The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."
The Malaysian said, "I have the best stealth plane. MH370 hasn't been found for 4 years."
Putin and Medvedeev talking
- We need to change these time zones, they are giving me a big headache, says Putin
-Why? asks Medvedeev
-I'm calling Beijing to give my congrats for their national holiday and they tell me it's tomorrow. I call Warsaw to express my condolences for the airplane c**... in Smolensk and they tell me the plane didn't take off yet!
Did you hear about the mishap at the Asia Summit?
The Chinese government is seeking answers after the recent Beijing Conference. Apparently, several of Obama's and Putin's private bodyguards were the last to use one of the royal toilets before it was reported clogged.
Obama announced that he will ask congress to create a commission to investigate the incident while Putin denies that his forces ever entered the bathroom.
