Behaviour Jokes
28 behaviour jokes and hilarious behaviour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about behaviour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Thirty-eight inappropriate behavior jokes that will have you aghast, embarrassed, and conscious of how you carry yourself in public! Don't miss the chance to learn the meaning of mannered behavior and ensure that you don't break any social rules in the future.
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Funniest Behaviour Short Jokes
Short behaviour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The behaviour humour may include short behave jokes also.
- What kind of behaviour could underline a serious problem in your relationship? When you feel like your partner is always trying to Ctrl+U.
- My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behaviour. Little does she know she can't enter my pillow fort without the secret password.
- How do parents punish their blind children for bad behaviour? They rearange the furniture.
- What have good cops and good prisoners in common? They both get released early for good behaviour.
- I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour. And call it Obsessive Disorders Control.
- Did you know Rocky Mountain wood ticks hunt in packs? They from a queue and move back and forth before they swoop in to bite you. They call this behaviour Lyme dancing.
- As compensation for their appalling behaviour, United Airlines are going to sponsor a lot more community sports and activities Their first project will be Drag Racing
- After watching social justice warrior's behaviour on YouTube. TIL: the old saying is true... War doesn't determine who's on the right, only who's on the left.
- What do you call it when the pope disagrees with the Catholic Church? Inapoperiate behaviour
- In exchange for good behaviour, an ISIS soldier gives a prisoner a free Netflix trial. What does the prisoner say? "That's the first time you've given anyone a trial."
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Behaviour One Liners
Which behaviour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with behaviour? I can suggest the ones about misbehaving and personality.
- What part of the brain regulates elk-like behaviour? The hypothalamoose.
- Why did the goldfish visit the behavioural therapist? He was acting unusually fish-ous
- What do you call Bruce Willis on his best behaviour? Good habits die hard
- What's an example of suspicious behaviour? A nun doing squats in a cucumber field
- I know someone who has got two of those new criminal behaviour orders... He is akrimbo...
- I'll take you to you limit, If you show me your end behaviour.
Cheerful Fun Behaviour Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about behaviour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attitude jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make behaviour pranks.
Father, I must confess I've been having s**... with two gorgeous models everyday for the past month.
Father: Well, as a good catholic I can't condone this behaviour.
Man: I'm Jewish
Father: What are you telling me for then?
Man: *shrugs* I'm telling everybody.
A man was in confession asking for forgiveness at his local church.
Man: Father I have sinned.
Yesterday my wife was leaning against the sofa and she was wearing a short Dress she looked so s**... I couldn't control myself. I went up behind her and spread her legs and started ramming her from behind uncontrollably.
Priest: oh no no they don't like that sort of behaviour is heaven.
Man: No they don't like it in Walmart either.
TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit.
This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?
Putin dies and goes to h**.......
Because of good behaviour he is allowed out for a few days and goes to Moscow, where he visits a bar. He orders a shot of v**... and asks:
\- Is Crimea ours?
\> Belongs to us.
\- And Donbas and Kiev?
\>Ours!
\- Perfect. How much is that?
\> Five euros.
God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
A king used to be drunk throughout the day, no matter what the time, day, occasion was
Frustrated by his behaviour, the queen left the palace and vowed to never go back.
The king, drunk as usual and absolutely shocked by this news, asked his minister, what caused such extreme move of queen
Minister said, "Your highness"
Mans best friend
I was having troubles with my girlfriend.
We were always arguing, usually about my behaviour or my friends circle; mostly about nothing in my eyes.
One day she said why don't we get a dog. Great idea! We got a puppy and we went for a long drive into the country side.
When we got there, I opened the trunk to let them both out. Can you guess which one was pleased to see me?
A piece of rope walks into a bar.
After very inappropriate behaviour, the bartender asks the rope to leave.
The rope leaves and gives itself a makeover by unravelling himself at the top and tying himself into a knot.
It returns the next day and the bartender asks Aren't you the same guy yesterday?
It says: I'm a frayed knot.
My neighbour came b**... on my door at 3am last night.
I couldn't believe such outrageous behaviour.
Luckily, I was up practicing on my drum kit at the time so I wasn't too startled by him.
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E.
One boy says: Elephant.
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T.
The same boys says: Two elephants.
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behaviour. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M.
The boy shouts from the other side of the door: Maybe an elephant!
A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.
"I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops" said Mr Fuuk Yu.
What's the difference between obsequious behaviour towards someone important in order to gain advantage and John Wayne Gacy wearing a top hat and monocle?
One is sycophancy and the other is a fancy sicko.
(As far as I'm aware this is an original joke that I created and am quite pleased with)
What do you call a scientist who investigates early h**... sapien societies but excuses their violent behaviour toward Neanderthals and other sub-species of archaic humans?
An anthro-apologist.
