The Best 51 Behavior Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Behavior jokes. There are some behavior terms jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these behavior demeanor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Behavior Jokes and Puns

A muslim woman is getting arrested

The police officer handcuffs her

You have the right to remain silent he says.

She suddenly starts laughing. The police officer notices, and questions her behavior.

Why, you see, I'm just happy to finally have a right!

Two behaviorists have sex.

One turns to the other and says, "That was good for you; how was it for me?"

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

Behavior joke,  An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

One day a dad gets a call and is told his son has been using dirty language.

When he gets home that night, he sits down with his son.

"Son," he says, "You know this isn't acceptable behavior. Now I want you to tell me all the dirty words you know."

His son says "Well Dad, I know the S word, I know the B word, and I know the M word."

His dad asks "What's the S word?"

His son says "Stupid."

The father is taken aback but pushes on. He asks "OK, what's the B word?"

His son says "Bad."

His father is starting to feel relieved and a faint smile is playing at his lips. With a kind, fatherly smile he asks "And what's the M word?"

His son says "MotherwhoringSpicnigger."

I recently learned that bison of eastern new york who are bullied by bison of the same region mimic the behavior upon the remainder of the community. In other words...

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

What do you call houses who have good behavior?


Offensive Joke: The principal of my daughter's elementary school wanted to talk me about her behavior.

Apparently she was making racist remarks towards the black kids in her class and insulting them.

I must say I am terrified and very disappointed, she isn't even allowed to talk to them.

Behavior joke, Offensive Joke: The principal of my daughter's elementary school wanted to talk me about her behavio

Did you hear about the incomplete thought that got out early on good behavior?

They say he served a sentence fragment.

A man enter a resturant

A waitress walks towards him and says, "I'm sorry but you can't eat here we have had a lot of complaints due to your behavior".
The man replies, "I'm sorry, you must confuse me with someone else, i've never been here before". "I'm so sorry sir, what do you want?". The man then answers "Just the usual, please"

A recent Social Behavior study showed that...

...2.6M people in Taiwan had Taipei personalities...

Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior.

Must have a lot of gay pride.

You can explore behavior misbehave reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean behavior verbal dad jokes. There are also behavior puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two terrorists in a bar

Two terrorists discussing in a bar. The waiter finds their behavior suspicious so he comes to their table and asks: "What are you talking about?"

Terrorist: "We are planning to kill five hundered people and a goat."

Waiter: "Why a goat?"

The first terrorist says to the other: "See? I told you nobody will care about five hundered people."

Grocery shopping fosters risky behavior.

I always put all my eggs in one basket.

A dad sends his son to his room

"Go to your room!" Dad exclaimed, frustrated at his son's behavior.

"Jim Morrison is overrated!" yelled the son as he stormed down the hall.

The dad yelled furiously, "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors?!"

I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way

Apparently that's "unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher".

My neighbors caught me watching them have sex through their bedroom window and told my parents.

My dad made me apologize and told the couple I was normally above that type of behavior. I took the advice and started watching through the skylight.

Behavior joke, My neighbors caught me watching them have sex through their bedroom window and told my parents.

A man visits a mental hospital.

He sees a patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting "Julie !! Julie !!"

He asks the assistant about the reason for the patient'sĀ  behavior. Asst says the patient used to love a girl called Julie but couldn't marry her. So he became mad.

The man visits the next ward. There also he sees another patient with torn clothes & unkempt hair shouting

"Julie !! Julie !!"

The man looks at the assistant.
The assistant says "This one married Julie"

Name an animal that begins with "E"

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E . One boy says, Elephant. Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T . The same boy says, Two elephants. The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M .The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: Maybe an elephant!

I hate when American Nazis say "Sieg Heil"

Like seriously learn English, and stop this multicultural behavior.

Why 6 was really afraid of 7

6 was just a normal girl, she met 7 on a dating app. They went out several times after that and a few dates later 7 proposed. 6 was ecstatic, they got married within the month and when they moved into a new house they quickly made friends with their neighbors, 9 and 10. 6 soon noticed strange behavior in 7, he was going out late at night to other people's houses. One night 6 saw 7 leave into the neighbors house. She decided to follow him in and was horrified. Blood stains led up to the darkened kitchen where she discovered some thing she could never unsee. 7 had done it. 7 8 9.

What's it called when you use being drunk as an excuse for your bad behavior?

Pleading "the fifth".

What does a police officer in rural Pennsylvania say when he sees suspicious behavior?

"Hmm, something's Amish here."

What do politicians, naked women, and electrons all have in common?

**They change their behavior when being observed.**
(Does anything else?)

Hillary was asked if Weinstein's behavior compared to that of her husband's.

She said "Close, but no cigar."

Everyone's talking about how inappropriate Louis CK's behavior has been...

...personally, I think he handled himself quite well.

I kind of feel bad for all of these big name actors and Hollywood people being outcast because of their deviant sexual behavior

Oh well, at least they can still be president.

Did you hear about the book written by the inmate in the New York State Prison?

It got an early release for good behavior.

What happened at the anarchist typesetter's trial?

The judge threw the book at him because his behavior was unjustified.

What do you say when a stirring utensil is doing something unsafe?

Hey that's whisky behavior

I was with my buddy after I had an argument with my girlfriend...

I was annoyed by her behavior and was explaining to him what happened.

It's ridiculous! You can call a girl beautiful a million times, and they never believe you. Call her fat once, and they'll never forget!

My buddy turns his head and says, That's because elephants never forget.

Two behavioral psychologists were lying in bed after sex

One says the other, "So it was good for you, was it good for me?"

Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in your this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state, like Colorado.

A friend calls his engineer friend

A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"

My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior.

He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.

I was a cocky little punk when I was younger

I remember one time, when I was 9 years old, getting called into the principal's office.

Your behavior is out of line, and getting worse & worse each day. Standards really are slipping."

"I'll do the talking he replied.

I got fired from my job as a teacher for sending a student to the office for being tardy

Apparently, it's not acceptable behavior for a special ed teacher

TIL that narcissistic behavior tends to peak in mid-September.

Pride goeth before a fall.



Well, we're sure you're really busy with all of your important things.

So, we'll just have to wait, until you feel that we've waited long enough, and maybe then, you'll be able to find some time for others.

It's fine.

What's the difference between a social norm and a social more?

When you have an informal understanding that governs the behavior of members of a society, that a norm.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a more.

I was diagnosed with antisocial behavior disorder, so I joined a support group

We never meet.

Trying to make up for bad behavior, I went to the shopping mall to buy my wife a gift.

I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife, I say eyeing the attractive sales girl, but I don't know her size.
Will this help? she asked sweetly, placing her hands in the gloves.
Oh, yes, I answered. Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.
Will there be anything else? the sales girl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves. Now that you mention it, I replied, she also needs a bra and panties.

A Behavioral Psychologist just finished having sex with his wife

He turns to her and says "It was good for you, was it good for me?"

When asked about the inappropriate behavior by his priests the pope said

it's an age old problem.

Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.

Did you hear about the music conductor who was fired for inappropriate behavior?

He was caught maestrobating backstage and his manager saw him a beat off

I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.

Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.

What do apostrophes and demonic behavior have in common?

They're both signs of possession.

A son was walking along side his father

While walking, the kid was looking at his phone and didn't notice a pole in front of him, which resulted with him colliding with the pole.

The father said, That was some a pole ing behavior and began to laugh at his own joke

The son, being slightly irritated, snapped back at the father saying, was that pun really necessary?

The father than replied with, well, you walked right into that one

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....

discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.

Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"

And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"

The Right Choice

An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."

The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."

I got kicked out of a grocery store for inappropriate behavior in the produce section.

All I did was take a leek.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the behavior moods jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working behavior complaints piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes