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Behave Jokes

32 behave jokes and hilarious behave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about behave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Behave Short Jokes

Short behave jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The behave humour may include short behaviour jokes also.

  1. September was the first calendar month no nfl players were arrested in six years. Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.
  2. Son: Mommy, will you give me a dollar if if behave? Mother: Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?
  3. People at my work are subject to quantum effects They behave differently if a superviser is observing.
  4. As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, Why do I always have to pay you to be good?Why can't you be good for nothing like your dad?"
  5. A teacher asked his poorly behaved pupil 'Johnny, which is worse ignorance or apathy?' Johnny: 'I don't know and I don't care'
  6. What's the difference between government and a roomful of 7-year old kids? The kids would be better behaved.
  7. I took a selfie with my uncle. Everyone behind us shook their heads. I never know how to behave at wakes.
  8. I once babysat a sausage. It was really poorly behaved, though.
    A total *brat*.
    Just the *wurst*.
  9. Is anyone behaving badly just to get coal in their stocking... ... so they can heat their house?
  10. Why does Rule #2 say "Behave like you would in real life" But all the other rules prohibit that? :D

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Behave One Liners

Which behave one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with behave? I can suggest the ones about treat and obey.

  1. What is the most well behaved drink? Tea because the others are not tea
  2. Friend: Your three kids are so well behaved! Me: Well .... there used to be four.
  3. What do you call a well behaved dog that loves cheese? A Gouda-Boy.
  4. What's the best way to get a foreign dog to behave? A treaty.
  5. Why was the rug so well-behaved during the road trip? Because it's a car pet!
  6. Why was the Chinese dumpling behaving in a deliberate and unprovoked way? It was wonton.
  7. Why are Stamford prisoners so well behaved? Because they come from con-etiquette.
  8. Why was Mr. Behaving sad? His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.
  9. I met the most minuscule insect and he was really well behaved. He was a beady ant.
  10. How does a priest apologize after behaving poorly? He makes Amens.
  11. What's Iraq's favourite sitcom? Men behaving Baghdadly.
  12. Where do you put a badly behaved spaceman? On the astronaughty step.
  13. What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster? a failure!
  14. Why can't you behave loudly in the laundry? Because the washing powder is concentrated
  15. What is the car that can behave? Honda Civic

Behave joke, What is the car that can behave?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about behave can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of behave puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Behave Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about behave you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean misbehaving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make behave prank.

There's no need for women to behave the way they do on their period

It's an o**... action

Marriage and Divorce

If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place..
On the other hand,
If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place

In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerburg's wife stated she wasn't bothered at all about being married to a lizard person.

But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?

A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!

Time off work

I rung up work this morning..
"My wife died last night." I explained. "I'm going to need some time off."
"Oh my goodness, that's awful." Replied the secretary. "We understand though, take as much time off as you need."
"Thank you." I said. "It'll be about eighteen years, if I behave myself."

My wife and I were at dinner with her pregnant friend and her husband.

Before we left the house, my wife told me to behave myself (I can be childish sometimes). As we were eating, her friend said, "I feel like there was something in the air that made me want to have a baby."
Without thinking, I said, "Yeah, your legs." And then the fight started.

My n**... Days Are Over

My n**... days are over, my pilot light is out.
What used to be my s**... appeal, is now my waterspout.
Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!

Wife (on phone ordering pizza): 12 inch please

Me : know what else is 12 inches ?
Wife: behave.
Me: (grabs c**...) Four of these !

Behave joke, Wife (on phone ordering pizza): 12 inch please

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these behave jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.