The Best 20 Behave Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Behave jokes. There are some behave differently jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these behave franco puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Behave Jokes and Puns

What is the most well behaved drink?

Tea because the others are not tea

There's no need for women to behave the way they do on their period

It's an ovary action

Son: Mommy, will you give me a dollar if if behave?

Mother: Why can't you be good for nothing like your father?

Behave joke, Son: Mommy, will you give me a dollar if if behave?

People at my work are subject to quantum effects

They behave differently if a superviser is observing.

As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave,

Why do I always have to pay you to be good?Why can't you be good for nothing like your dad?"

What's the best way to get a foreign dog to behave?

A treaty.

Marriage and Divorce

If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place..

On the other hand,

If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place

Behave joke, Marriage and Divorce

In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerburg's wife stated she wasn't bothered at all about being married to a lizard person.

But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

I took a selfie with my uncle. Everyone behind us shook their heads.

I never know how to behave at wakes.

Time off work

I rung up work this morning..

"My wife died last night." I explained. "I'm going to need some time off."

"Oh my goodness, that's awful." Replied the secretary. "We understand though, take as much time off as you need."

"Thank you." I said. "It'll be about eighteen years, if I behave myself."

You can explore behave manner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean behave behaviour dad jokes. There are also behave puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?

A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!

Why does Rule #2 say "Behave like you would in real life"

But all the other rules prohibit that? :D

My Nookie Days Are Over

My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal, is now my waterspout.

Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,

But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.

For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,

to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!

My wife and I were at dinner with her pregnant friend and her husband.

Before we left the house, my wife told me to behave myself (I can be childish sometimes). As we were eating, her friend said, "I feel like there was something in the air that made me want to have a baby."

Without thinking, I said, "Yeah, your legs." And then the fight started.

Wife (on phone ordering pizza): 12 inch please

Me : know what else is 12 inches ?
Wife: behave.
Me: (grabs crotch) Four of these !

Behave joke, Wife (on phone ordering pizza): 12 inch please

Why can't you behave loudly in the laundry?

Because the washing powder is concentrated

Losing all your friends. G(old)

A man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."

What is the car that can behave?

Honda Civic

I don't understand why ANTI-FA behave the way they do.

Or, for that matter, what exactly they have against the Football Association.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the behave megan jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working behave interact piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes