Behalf Jokes
23 behalf jokes and hilarious behalf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about behalf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Behalf Short Jokes
Short behalf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The behalf humour may include short assistance jokes also.
- (Got to say this out loud) Knock knock... - Who's there?
- I eat map
- I eat map who?
- Ewwww (etc, etc)
This is posted on behalf of our seven year old. It's his favourite joke. - Emergency measures On behalf of the international community, as a humanitarian measure, we demand that President Putin be admitted to art school on an emergency basis.
- As a man I know I have something women will probably never have. Pockets.
Sorry. On behalf of all of us. - I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all.
- I talked to a guy today who spliced his DNA with a bumblebee But I won't speak on his behalf
- The head of the 2016 somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team... ...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events.
- I'll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well. But I'd still give you a run for your money.
- D was hospitalised and the alphabet wanted to send two letters on behalf of all the letters to visit D. It was finally decided that ABCD
- To all of the single women out there, I on behalf of millions of other men agree that the slogan "a best way to a man's heart is through his stomach"... Should not be interpreted by vegans.
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Behalf One Liners
Which behalf one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with behalf? I can suggest the ones about helpline and courtesy.
- Which potato speaks to the farmer on behalf of the other potatoes? The omspudsman
- What do you call a person who farts on your behalf? A substitoot.
Hilarious Behalf Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about behalf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make behalf pranks.
A man noticed that his friend only smoked two cigarettes at a time.
He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. He told me to smoke for him too"
Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your brother finished his sentence?"
His friend said: "No, I quit smoking"
I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help!
His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an e**....
When he came back he handed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Can you help him?
A knight and his men return to their castle...
...after a long hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
A woman goes in front of a judge.
The judge said, "Why are you here today?"
She said, "I stole a can of peaches." The judge said, "How many peaches are in the can?"
She said, "Six." The Judge said, "Ok, you spend six days in jail then."
The lady's husband quickly stood up and asked the judge if he could speak on her behalf. "Sure," said the judge.
"She stole a can of peas too!"
Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.
A man is sitting on a train with a baby, who is very ugly.
In fact, the baby is so ugly that a nearby passenger says,
What a hideous baby.
I've never been so insulted in my whole life, the man says, and
hurries to the train conductor to complain.
I'm so sorry, sir, the train conductor says, when the man tells her
he was insulted so terribly. I apologise on behalf of the railway
company.
Please allow me to move you to the first-class cabin, where you
can enjoy a free glass of champagne and I will try to find some cheese for your pet rat.
I saw a guy smoking two cigarettes today
I was walking down the street and saw a guy smoking two cigarettes at once, I asked him about it and he said that his friend recently went to jail and that he swore upon his life to always smoke on his behalf as long as he is in jail.
A month later I walk by the same street and spot the same guy, but this time he only had one cigarette in his mouth.
I asked him if his friend got out of jail to which he responded "Nah man, I quit smoking"
The difference between ravens and crows
Today I learned there are very few differences between ravens and crows. But one key difference is they have a different amount of tail feathers, so really, the difference is a matter of a pinion.
posted on behalf of my SO
Sir Dimalot strode into the throne room and bowed before the king.
"Your majesty," he said, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the villages of your enemies in the north."
The king looked perplexed. "But I do not have any enemies in the north."
"Ah," replied the knight, realising his mistake. "I fear you do now."
(Recent) Justin Trudeau did pretty well in school...
...But as soon as he got to the "yes/no answers" section of the exams, he couldn't answer the questions and accidentally apologized to the indigenous people on behalf of someone else at a different period in time.
This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,
On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.
If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.
This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
Th couple with 10 kids.
A husband and wife had 9 kids and just recently had their 10th.
However the 10th child looked strangely different to the rest and this made the father suspicious of unfaithfulness on his wife's behalf.
So one day he sat his wife down and demanded she tell him who the father is.
The wife, a little overwhelmed by the confrontation gave it up pretty easy. She said: "Okay, okay, ... it's you".
A Rabbi is giving a eulogy...
And it comes to the point in the service where he is supposed to extol the virtues of the deceased.
Rabbi: "Alas, I did not know this man, I am new here. Would anyone care to speak on his behalf?"
Silence through the crowd.
A voice from the back calls out:
"His brother was worse!"
