Beetle Jokes

Make your friends laugh out loud with these funny jokes about beetles! From the iconic VW Beetle to the dung beetle, scarab and ladybug, there's something here for everyone. Read on for a good chuckle at these humorous jokes about beetles such as the Japanese beetle, stag beetle and the thorn.

Cheerful Fun Beetle Jokes for Lovely Laughter

Father buys a beetle farm for Jhonny one evening

Jhonny is so excited he keeps shouting "Beetle.. Beetle.. Beetle.." the entire night and next day. By evening next day the father is really irritated and says "BE SILENT!".

So Jhonny pauses for sometime and starts shouting "eetle.. eetle.. eetle.. "

"Getting real tired of your crap…"

Said no dung beetle ever.

Did you hear that they exhumed the body of John Lennon?

All they found was a dead beetle...

How do you fit 5 comedians into a VW Beetle?

2 in front, 2 in back & Richard Pryor in the ashtray.

A dung beetle walks into a bar....

The bartender asks,"What's with the round faeces?"

Something to get your favorite entomologist in the mood

"Baby, I'm gonna pin you down and spread your legs like you're a beetle on a cork board."

What's the opposite of a Christmas Beetle?

A Bah-hum-bug. :D

Beetle joke, What's the opposite of a Christmas Beetle?

I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle...

..it became herby.

What do you call a beetle in the bed sheets?

John Linen

A dung beetle walks into a bar.

He says, "Is this stool taken?"

Yoko Ono is apparently being lined up to assist with the bush tucker trials in the I'm a Celebrity jungle.

After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years.

You can explore beetle thorn reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean beetle jhonny dad jokes. There are also beetle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

And thus, the captain of Insect Squadron-A said this to quell the broken spirits of its warriors:

We lost the beetle but we will win the war.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."

Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

Which insect has the first part of its name of another insect?

Beetle

How does a beetle serenade his girlfriend?

He sings "I've got you under my chitin".

What did the tree owner say to the Emerald Ash Borer Beetle after it destroyed his tree?

What an Ash-hole!

Beetle joke, What did the tree owner say to the Emerald Ash Borer Beetle after it destroyed his tree?

My friend got a Volkswagen Beetle...

He calls it McCartney.

What's the difference between a brutal military overthrow and a Volkswagen Beetle made out of mucus?

One's a vicious coup and the other is a viscous coupe.

What did the gay beetle say at the orgy?

Come together.
Right now.
Over me.

When a dung beetle dies...

is it interred?

A dung beetle goes for fast food...

Orders a Number 2

What's two inches long and very disappointing?

The beetle in my soup.

What is one of the longest living species of beetle?

Paul McCartney

Since Volkswagen is discontinuing the beetle...

Maybe my dad will stop punching me all the time.

A guy took his 1973 Volkswagen Beetle to a blond mechanic and said

"My engine is missing." The mechanic raised the hood and said "Oh wow, you're right! But how the heck did you drive it here?"

Dung Beetle

A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks, "Yo, is this stool taken?"

Beetle joke, Dung Beetle

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle?

It has an X-O-skeleton.

A beetle was happily eating a cucumber, but then the cucumber suddenly was immersed in vinegar

As the beetle started to burn it thought, *"Uh oh, now I'm really in a pickle."*

A dung beetle walks into a bar

Is this stool taken?

The 1960s started with beetle mania The 2020s have started with bat fever...

Well I'm hoping Covid-19 is just a one-hit wonder, you know, like Come on Eileen or John Lennon's first wife

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks,

'Is this stool taken?'

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks the bartender...

Excuse me sir, is this stool taken?

Myrtle and the Beetle

Myrtle is driving her Volkswagon Beetle down the road and sees another little old lady, also with a Beetle, pulled over with the hazards on. Myrtle pulls over and asks, "Is everything ok?"

The other lady replies, "My darn Beetle has broken down. I popped the bonnet and it looks like the whole engine has gone missing!".

"No worries, I can help you." said Myrtle. "As it happens, I have a spare engine in my boot!"

A man opens the bonnet

of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"

Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare."

Don't Open The Door

The doorbell rings at Pete's place. When he opens the door, there's a large beetle standing in front of him.
The beetle pushes Peter so hard he falls and hits his head, requiring a trip to the hospital.
When Peter explains what happened to the Doctor, she says, "Ah, I'm not surprised, you're the fifth case we've had today"
"Really?" Peter says.
"Yes," the Doctor says, "There's a really nasty bug going around..."

A dung beetle goes into a bar...

He doesn't order a drink. He just takes a stool.

I answered my front door this morning and was punched in the face by a 5 foot tall beetle.

That must have been the nasty bug that's going around.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the beetle burrow puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working beetle dung beetle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes