Beethoven Jokes

What are some Beethoven jokes?

Beethoven hyping the crowd.

Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY?

*crowd cheers*

Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Eight year old tells funniest joke

My eight year old cousin told me this one:

Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?

Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Beethoven (to crowd): "Alright... are you guys READY FOR SOME SYMPHONIES?"

Crowd: (*Cheers*)



Beethoven: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?

"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."

Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do.

Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen.

Beethoven to his audience:

Beethoven: Make some noise for the next symphony

Audience: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!

Beethoven: I can't hear you

They told Beethoven he couldn't make music because he was deaf

but he didn't listen

Little brother told me this joke, genius.

"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"

Everyone told Beethoven he can't compose because he was deaf

But he didn't listen

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

Decomposing.

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

Beethoven asks his audience: "Is everyone ready to hear some symphonies!?"

The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: "I can't hear you!"

Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever,

of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.

In bed I'm like Beethoven

It's all over in three movements.

Lets go to the symphony

Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!?

Crowd: **cheers loudly**

Beethoven: I can't hear you!

Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

THE GOVINATOR

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

Strange music

In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.

A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.

Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.

"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."

Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."

Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?"

"I'll be Bach"

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was ,"Bach, Bach, Bach"

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher?

Because he was Haydn

A man walks into a graveyard..

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. What's going on? he asks a cemetery worker.

It's Beethoven, says the worker. He's decomposing.

After Beethoven died and they buried him, you could hear his symphonies from the grave in the descending order, first his symphony No. 9, then No. 8 etc.

He was just decomposing.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

When Beethoven passed away...

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing.

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.

Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."

Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."

Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."

Beethoven is on the stage at a concert

"You wanna' hear a symphony?"

"Yeaaah"

"I can't hear you!"

Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing .

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing.

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.

Stallone goes first.

"I'll be Mozart"

Next up is Chuck Norris.

"I'll be Beethoven".

Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'

Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

This guy walks into a bar

Asks the bartender for a drink then pulls out a small piano and a man about a foot tall. The little man sits at the piano and begins playing a beautiful Beethoven sonata.

Amazed, the bartender asks to find out the story behind this mini musician.

The man tells the bartender that he was on vacation in Costa Rica and after a long night of partying he decided to talk a walk on the beach. While walking, the man trips over something in the sand. He pulls it out and dusts it off. Immediately after dusting, a genie pops out and says you may have 1 wish, anything you'd like.

Before the man could continue, the bartender interrups and says "so you wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

People told Beethoven he cannot be a musician because he was deaf

But he didn't listen

Beethoven

Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"

A man is walking in a graveyard

when he hears the Third Symphony playing backwards.
When it's over the Second Sympnony also starts playing backward.

"What's going on ?" he asks the cemetry worker.

"It's Beethoven" says the worker "he is decomposing"

What is the greatest accomplishment of the Austrian people?

Successfully convincing the rest of the world that Beethoven was Austrian and that Hitler was German.

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers...

They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play.

Sean Connery says "I would shertainly like to play Moshart."

Sylvester Stallone says "Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."

And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says "I'll be Bach."

Ludwig van Beethoven

A music scholar was touring through a graveyard in Vienna when he heard music coming out of a grave. On inspection, he found the headstone as Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. The music was the Ninth Symphony being played backwards. He soon rang up a friend who came in time to hear the Seventh Symphony being played backwards. They hurried to call an expert who hurried to them to hear the Fifth Symphony playing backwards. All the more weird was the fact that symphonies were being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. When the caretaker of the graveyard heard this, the only comment he made was, "What's the wonder! He's just decomposing!"

The Beethoven Mystery

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later,the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived,he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

I won a contest to go trick or treating with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. Wad thinking of going as Beethoven.

He'll be Bach.

Steven Spielberg wants to make a movie about famous composers, so he puts out a casting call.

Gary Oldman walks in first and says, "I played Beethoven in *Immortal Beloved*, so I already have experience playing the part."

Tom Hulce calls in next, "I was Mozart in *Amadeus*, and would love to play him again.

Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him and says, "I'll be Bach."

Never let a disability get in the way of your dreams.

Just look at Beethoven. Everyone said he couldn't be a musician because he was deaf. But did he listen?

Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music

When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded "I'm decomposing"

There was a man that was completely infatuated with Beethoven.

This man had heard a rumor that Beethoven was buried with his final masterpiece that nobody had ever seen or heard. In a fit of madness he went to the great masters grave and dug it up. When he finally reached the lid of Beethovens coffin he pried it open and to his amazement Beethoven was busily erasing the music the man had sought.

"What are you doing?" cried the man.

Beethoven glanced up at him and said, "Hey, shut the lid and leave me alone. Can't you see that I'm decomposing".

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to Beethoven on the way to the fancy dress party?

"I'll be Bach"

When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench

It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement

Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...

Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

Stallone, Van Damme and Schwarzenegger decide to collaborate on a movie about classical composers.

"I'll be Beethoven" says Stallone.

Van Damne says "OK, I'll be Mozart".

Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.

"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.

"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.

"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

When Beethoven started composing music, people said he wouldn't amount to anything because he was deaf

Fortunately, he didn't listen to the critics

Last Halloween, Schwarzenegger, while carrying a piano over his shoulders, throws me an organ.

"What's this for?" I say.

He replies, "I'll be Bach.

And you be Beethoven."

How to make Beethoven jokes?

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