Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY?
*crowd cheers*
Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
My eight year old cousin told me this one:
Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?
Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Crowd: (*Cheers*)
Beethoven: "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."
Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen.
Beethoven: Make some noise for the next symphony
Audience: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!
Beethoven: I can't hear you
"Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"
-why
"Because it kept saying "bok bok bok"
Decomposing.
The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: "I can't hear you!"
It's all over in three movements.
of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.
Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!?
Crowd: **cheers loudly**
Beethoven: I can't hear you!
Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.
A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.
Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.
"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."
Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."
"I'll be Bach"
All they said was ,"Bach, Bach, Bach"
"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.
Beethoven: "Are you ready for for my greatest piece?!"
Audience: "Yeah!"
Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"
Audience: "YEAH!"
Beethoven: "I can't hear you!"
Audience: "YE- oh fuck, that's right..."
Because he was Haydn
A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. What's going on? he asks a cemetery worker.
It's Beethoven, says the worker. He's decomposing.
He was just decomposing.
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing.
They weren't invented yet.
"You wanna' hear a symphony?"
"Yeaaah"
"I can't hear you!"
Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.
Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."
Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."
A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing.
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".
Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'
A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man. After a short while, the man reaches into his jacket and pulls out a little foot-tall miniature man dressed in a tuxedo and a tiny little grand piano. The miniature man promptly begins to sit down at the piano and begins to play the most wonderful music. Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, the little guy is playing it all.
After a few minutes, the woman can't contain herself. She turns to the man and says "excuse me, but I can't help but wonder where you got that tiny little man and that miniature grand piano. Where on earth did you find them?"
The man responds "Oh, I found a lamp that has a genie in it, but the genie only grants you one wish. Would you like to rub the lamp and have a wish granted?" "Of course!" The woman responds.
So the woman rubs the lamp, the genie pops out, and the woman tells the genie "I would like 20 million bucks".
Instantly, there are ducks everywhere. Ducks under the bar, ducks over the bar, ducks filling up the street outside the bar. The T.V. in the bar comes on with an emergency report that ducks are taking over the town.
Over the deafening roar of the ducks, the woman looks at the man and yells "What the hell? Your genie can't hear worth a damn, I asked for 20 million bucks, not 20 million ducks!"
The guy responds "No shit! You really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
Asks the bartender for a drink then pulls out a small piano and a man about a foot tall. The little man sits at the piano and begins playing a beautiful Beethoven sonata.
Amazed, the bartender asks to find out the story behind this mini musician.
The man tells the bartender that he was on vacation in Costa Rica and after a long night of partying he decided to talk a walk on the beach. While walking, the man trips over something in the sand. He pulls it out and dusts it off. Immediately after dusting, a genie pops out and says you may have 1 wish, anything you'd like.
Before the man could continue, the bartender interrups and says "so you wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
Because they kept saying "BACH BACH BACH"
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Beethoven? Well, here are the best Beethoven dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Beethoven pick up lines to share with friends.