The Best 72 Bees Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bees jokes. There are some bees honeybee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bees beekeeping puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bees Jokes and Puns

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs!

I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

You've given me one too many.

That one is a freebie.

My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard.

She's a keeper.

Bees joke, My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard.

Daddy, what's sex?

A man was in his backyard when his 8 year old daughter comes out and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

The man things for a minute and tell himself if she's old enough to ask, she's old enough to know, so he goes on and tells his daughter all about the birds and the bees.

Once he was done, his daughter was sitting there, wide eyed, while his wife yells from inside, "Honey, did you tell dad dinner will be ready in a couple of secs yet?"

The birds and the bees

A little girl came home from school quite confused after her first sex-ed class, and asked her mother to explain.

"Well," said her mother, quite embarrassed, "There are birds and there are bees..."

"That's what I don't understand! Don't birds eat bees?"

Her father piped up from the next room, "That's lesson two!"


How do bees keep their hair looking nice?

A HONEY COMB

Where do Bees use the bathroom?

At the BP station. (thanks grandma)

Bees joke, Where do Bees use the bathroom?

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees...

Little Johnny claps his hands over his ears and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus, and then there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have sex, I got nothin' to believe in anymore!"

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

I told my son about the birds and the bees.

He then told me about the postman and my wife.

You can explore bees hive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bees beehive dad jokes. There are also bees puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.

Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.

Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!

Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.

Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide

"Fish tanks are stupid!"

"Why?"

"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not.

Q: What type of bees make milk?

A: BOO-Bees!

And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times.

What type of bees make milk...?

Boo-bees!

If honey bees make honey, what type of bees make milk?

Boo bees...... My dad just told me this one

What do you call bees that make milk?

Boobees

Bees joke, What do you call bees that make milk?

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

What kind of bees get you high?

Doo-bees... I'm so sorry for that

How do bees go to school?

They take the buzz


What did the ghost say to the bees?

Boo Bees

If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?

Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"

How do Australian bees please the queen bee?

They bee hive

A guy walks into a brothel with a donkey and a honeycomb

The brothel owner says "Why do you have an jackass? " Guy says, "I have a big farm, I want to trade it for some time with your girls."

Brothel owner says "Okay, why do you have a honeycomb?" Guy says "I have a lot of bees, was hoping to trade it for some food."

Brothel owner says "Why don't you just eat the honeycomb?"

Guy says, "Same reason I brought the jackass, tired of it."

A woman was out at the golf course...

...with her friends for a day and came home. Her husband asks, "So, how did it go?" "Terrible!" she replied. "I got stung by bees!" "Oh no! Where?" he asks. "Between the first and second holes!" The husband shakes his head and says "I've been telling you that your stance was too wide."

When I was 6 years old my priest took me aside and gave me a lesson about the birds and the bees.

He did this to many other kids. It went on for about 2 years. Until he left the church to pursue his career in zoology. He just loved teaching kids about animals. What a great man.

Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM.

Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

What do bees and celebrities have in common?

They're both dying at an alarming rate.

I found a girlfriend who's into bees.

She's a keeper.

What kind of bees make you sleepy?

Cos-bees

What kind of bees produce milk instead of honey?

Boobies!

What kind of bees make milk, not honey?

Boo-bies (.)(.)

How do you scare bees?

"Boo-bees!"

Gold from my local preacher

A beekeeper was asked which species of bees he found to be the most pretty.

His reply: "Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder"

You hear about bees being wiped out by the millions - why don't ants get sick?

Because they have little antybodies.

How do we know Noah kept bees

All the evidence was in the ark hives

Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office

Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office

My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is sex?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe sex.
When I finished she looked at me shocked and confused:
"So... which box should I check on this form? Male or Female?"

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, lets do it

Let's go hurtling straight into a sliding glass door and die

Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?

Swarm

my girlfriend says she can lick the honey from a beehive so gently that the bees won't even know she's there

she's a keeper

Why do bees huddle together all winter?

'Swarm.

One day, my parents told me about the birds and the bees

"Son" they said, "birds do it, bees do it, so it's completely fine and natural for you to do it too. It's nothing to be ashamed of"

They were of course referring to my unfortunate habit of running face-first into windows.

A man runs out of petrol

A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.

"What seems to be the problem?'' asked the bee.

"I'm out of petrol,'' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.

After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

`"Try it now,'' said the bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

"Wow,'' the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank?''

"BP,'' answered the bee.

Bees like to stay huddled up together in their hives during the winter

Swarm

My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

If you find out someone has 10,000 bees, marry them

That's how you know they're a keeper

People have often said that bees making honey sounds cool...

...but honestly, I never understood what all the buzz was about.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

today I met a girl that claims to work with bees

yeah, she's definitely a keeper

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees

The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.

You've given me one too many I said.

That one is a freebie

I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees

I think she's a keeper

her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please.

**waiter:** of course

**me:** it didn't say it had nuts

**her:** I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe

**me:** that makes sense

**waiter:** and for you?

**me:** steak, no bees, please.

Where do bees stay while on vacation?

Air Bee and Bee

I've always found spelling bees easy

B E E S. Simple.

A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip.

On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas again.

The second bee steps up and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas for the third time.

This time the squirrel chimes in and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further.

But the man says, Don't bother, she only runs on BP.

I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees.

He counted and gave me 13.

Sir, you gave me an extra , I said.

That's a freebie.

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.

Which bees produce milk?

Boobees

Male bees die after mating.

-And that's why they call it a honey nut cheerio

Which insect is the best at what it does?

Most people think ants or bees, but ya know...flies have really been on top of shit lately

Bees and flowers

As little Johnny had become increasingly interested in the girls over the summer, his mom told his dad he should talk to his son about the flowers and bees and such. Dad obligingly took Johnny fishing, and as they sat quietly by the water, he asked:

So Johnny, you remember last time we went fishing, right?

I sure do, dad!

And you remember those girls we met, right?

Of course!

Well, what we did to them, the bees do to the flowers as well.

Father calls little Johnny over to give him the birds and the bees talk...

Johnny starts crying uncontrollably the moment he says this.

"Whats wrong? I haven't even told you anything yet!" the surprised father asks.

Little Johnny tries to talk through the tears:

"Two years ago, you wanted to talk about Easter bunny, then told me he wasn't real...

Then last year you wanted to talk about Santa, and told me he isn't real either...

If now you tell me sex isn't real, I have nothing left to live for!"

Everyone knows beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but what are in the hands of the beholder?

bees

I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13.

Sir, you gave me an extra. That's a freebie.

My kid got sent home from school one day.

They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" And he replied, " Well I know it doesn't sound safe, but my principal said I could do it and the teachers said I could do it. Infact both of you even said I could do it! You all said I can bee who I want to bee!

Why do bees hum?

Because they don't know the words

how do bees travel?

by a buzz

I went to a pet store to buy 12 bees..

They gave me 13..

The extra one was a freebie.

How do bees let guests into their apartment building?

They *buzz* them in

If you meet a person who own a few thousand bees, marry them.

They're a keeper.

How do they make honey in the Middle East?

From a shawarma bees

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bees boobees jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bees bee piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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