Bee Jokes
178 bee jokes and hilarious bee puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about bee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Buzz in with a smile by checking out some hilarious bee jokes! From beekeeping and hornets to beeswax and preschoolers, we've got the perfect bee joke for any occasion! Check out our selection of bee jokes for birthdays and other special occasions.
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Funniest Bee Short Jokes
Short bee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bee humour may include short buzz jokes also.
- My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
- I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. You've given me one too many.
That one is a freebie. - If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
- Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
- Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'." Contestant: "C-U-N..."
Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP." - God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
- My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered... "Swarm."
- A woman ran screaming into the pro shop at the golf course... "I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole!"
The guy at the counter said "Your stance is too wide". - Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
- So, I just tried a new drinking game. I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.
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Bee One Liners
Which bee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bee? I can suggest the ones about honey and honeybee.
- Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter? Swarm
- Where did noah keep his bees? In the ark hives
- What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi
I'll let myself out now. - What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
- Male bees die after mating. That's basically their entire lives. Honey. nut. Cheerio.
- How do we know Noah kept bees All the evidence was in the ark hives
- I found a girlfriend who's into bees. She's a keeper.
- Where do Bees use the bathroom? At the BP station. (thanks grandma)
- If you want to know how many bees Noah had... Check the ark hives.
- What do you call a bee hive with no exit? Un-bee-leave-able
- My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard. She's a keeper.
- What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A Maybe.
- What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee? Nothing.
- What kind of bees make you sleepy? Cos-bees
- What bee produces milk? A boo-bee
Bee And Honey Jokes
Here is a list of funny bee and honey jokes and even better bee and honey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings You know she's a keeper.
- Why was the bee's hair sticky? Because he used a honey comb.
- A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
Student: Honey
Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
Student: Milk
Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
Student: Homework - Why do bees love the first day of spring? Because it's the start of the honey-making season!
- If honey bees make honey, what type of bees make milk? Boo bees...... My dad just told me this one
- my girlfriend says she can lick the honey from a beehive so gently that the bees won't even know she's there she's a keeper
- How do they make honey in the Middle East? From a shawarma bees
- How do bees keep their hair looking nice? A HONEY COMB
- What do bees say when they get back to the hive? Honey! I'm home!
- If my current career doesn't work out I'm going try my hand as a honey farmer. It's my plan bee.
Spelling Bee Jokes
Here is a list of funny spelling bee jokes and even better spelling bee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At the spelling bee Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there. - Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate - At the Spelling bee Judge: Your word is 'Invulnerable'.
Me: I-N-V-U-
Judge: I am pretty awesome. - "Your word is their..." "Your word is their," said the spelling bee judge.
The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence.
"They're looking for their dog over there," replied the judge. - You hear about the kid who lost the spelling bee on the word "dairy"? ...I told him there's no use crying over misspelled milk.
- What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
- Breaking: Spelling Bee Official Pronounced Dead. He then used it in a sentence.
- What's even more impressive than a talking dog ? A spelling bee!
- I've always found spelling bees easy B E E S. Simple.
- An Etymologist and an Entomologist enter a spelling bee.. ..into a spelling bee
Bee Hive Jokes
Here is a list of funny bee hive jokes and even better bee hive puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
- Have you ever realised how pretty the second letter of the word hive is? I've always said that beauty is in the I of the bee holder
- How do Australian bees please the queen bee? They bee hive
- A man tried robbing a bee farm without success. He broke out in hives when he broke into hives.
- A beekeeper said he wanted to train his hives to work with stitching and rope. I asked him if he really thought that would work, and he nodded and said May bee sew, may bee knot
- How do bees get into their hive? They get buzzed in!
- Trees are allergic to bees.. ..when bees get too close, [they break out in hives.] (/spoiler)
Original joke!
- TIL that trees can actually be allergic to bees. ... they break out in hives
- Apparently I'm allergic to Burt's Bees body wash Broke out in hives
- Where do American bees store their honey? In a USBee hive.
~Thank my ten year old for that one.
Honey Bee Jokes
Here is a list of funny honey bee jokes and even better honey bee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Bee laundromat close down? They were arrested for honey laundering.
- People have often said that bees making honey sounds cool... ...but honestly, I never understood what all the buzz was about.
- A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower... It was a cross pollination.
- What do you call the secret organization of tight-lipped Soviet honey makers? The Cagey Bees
- What type of bee's make milk not honey? Boobies
My 5 year olds favourite joke - You know the worst part about being allergic to bees and loving honey? Breaking into hives
- I'm trying to decide whether to start a honey farm. To bee, or not to bee. That is the question.
- Some Chuck Norris jokes here. Chuck Norris does not eat honey.
- He chews on bees.
Chuck Norris cowboy boots are made of real cowboys. - Could someone help me out? I live in Canada and I need to travel to my honey farm tomorrow, but I don't have a car. I don't need anything special, just something to get me from eh to bee.
- Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey? It's why two of his wives were bee-headed
Ridiculous Bee Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about bee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beekeeper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bee pranks.
If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?
Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"
A man runs out of petrol
A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.
"What seems to be the problem?'' asked the bee.
"I'm out of petrol,'' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
`"Try it now,'' said the bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow,'' the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank?''
"BP,'' answered the bee.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 guys walk into a bar
"Hey donkey get the beers in" shouts o**... to the other.
The man walks up to the barman and stutters " two bee... two bee... two beers please?" the barman starts to pour the mans beer when the guys friend shouts "Donkey! get me some nuts too"
The man stood at the bar says to the barman " two pa... two pa.. two packets of nuts too please"
The barman says to the guy "That's a bit mean, why does he call you donkey?" and the man replies "It's OK, He aw... he aw.. he always calls me that"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the CIA t**... the Russian wasp?
Because he was a cagey bee agent.
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
What do bees make joke
Logan: Patton and I don't have pet names for each other !
Virgil: Uh huh...
Virgil: So do you know what bees make ?
Logan: Honey ?
Patton from the other room: Yes babe ?
Virgil: Don't lie to my face again !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... Bee
A Whorenet
My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you catch a s**... bee?
With a hornet.
A guy looking to become a bee farmer went to a seasoned Apiarist and asked if he could buy some bees off him to start up a hive. The Apiarist said he had plenty to spare and was having a sale for 50 bees for $50...
The man bought the bees, went home and began putting the bees into the empty hive; he counted each one to make sure he got his moneys worth but by the end of the gruelling task he realized he had not 50 but 51 bees. He called the seasoned Apiarist and asked why he was given 51 bees when the sale was for 50.
The Apiarist replied: >!that's a free-bee!<
My dad always told me that if a bee is bothering you, stare at it intently instead of trying to swat it.
Because ….seeing is bee leaving.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...
"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"
What is Russia's most secretive insect?
Cagey Bee.
A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.
Husband: Body of water, three letters.
Wife: Bay.
Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.
Wife: Bee.
Husband: To hush someone, four letters.
Wife: shhh.
Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.
Wife: Ark.
Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip.
On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas again.
The second bee steps up and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas for the third time.
This time the squirrel chimes in and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further.
But the man says, Don't bother, she only runs on BP.
I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect...
....That Hepatitis Bee
A Bee on a Fly
(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.
What do you get when a bee is stuck in a garage ?
Garbage.
This ones for the kids: What did the bee say to the flower?
Hey bud!
A boy and his father are playing catch
A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?
A young woman had been taking golf lessons all week long.
She'd just begun her first game of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense, she couldn't continue her game. She decided to go back to the clubhouse and get some medical attention.
Her golf Pro saw her enter the clubhouse and asked,
"Why are you back so soon?" What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," she answered.
"Where?," he asked.
"Between the first and second holes," she replied.
He nodded his head knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A child was competing in a spelling bee and was doing quite well, until the moderator said: "your word is 'inward' "....
Spelling bee contestant: "N-I-G-G..."
Moderator: "Jesus no, stop please! "
Women playing golf goes to doctor
She tells the doctor while playing golf a bee stung her between the first hole and the second hole, the doctor replies your stance is to wide
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.
I was too quick with the s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a type of bee that after it stings you, you pass out and it tries to have s**... with you.
It's a Cos-Bee.
Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?
Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL: A fly will drink so much v**... it can hardly stand, but a bee will only take a little sip.
Just enough to get buzzed.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
Did you hear about the bee that became a russian spy?
He always was a cagey bee
A man goes to the doctor
A man goes to the doctor and says, "I've been stung by a bee! Can you put some ointment on it?"
The doctor says, "Sure, but I think the bee flew away already."
(Courtesy of my 10 year old)
A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.
A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."
A woman returned home from a round of golf.
Her husband asked how it went. She replied, "Well, OK, but I got stung by a bee." He responded, "Where did it sting you?" She said, "Between the first and second hole," whereupon he exclaimed, "I told you your stance was too wide!"
What do you call an angry bee?
A cross pollinator!
What do you do when there's a bee at your door?
You buzz it in.
What do you call a completely white bee?
An Albeeno
What do you call a bee that still moves after you kill it....
A zom-bee
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi
At the Bee Prom...
A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line
What is Barry Gibb better at than the rest of the Bee Gees?
Staying Alive
Why did the bee buy a phone?
To cauliflower
Why can you charge your phone with a bee from America?
Because it's a USB
What did the bee go to the barber shop for?
To get a buzz cut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For my wife's birthday, I got a guy to follow her all day making bee noises.
She really wanted a h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into a police station and says "Help, Ive bee r**... by a consultant"
The policeman on duty says "Consultant? thats pretty specific. Do you know him?"
The woman replies "No I dont know him"
The policeman asks "Then how do you know he's a consultant?"
The woman answers "Because he kept his jacket on and made me do all the work"
I got friendzoned by a bee from russia
he was a cagey bee
Moving the Hive
I'm a devoted beekeeper, so when my wife and I decided to move to a new house I carefully packed up my favorite hive and placed it in the car. My wife asked "are you really going to put a swarm of bees into our car with us ?" I thought she understood that I couldn't leave my best queen and hive behind.
But then I saw her face, now I'm a bee leaver.
Eddie izzard bee joke
Beekeepers as well say - I want to be a beekeeper. I want to keep bees. No I don't want them to get away, I want to keep them. Too much freedom. I want bees on elastic so when they get Poland they come back here. My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him. I want to walk in their footsteps and their footsteps were like this. I'm covered in bees covered in bees is actually a job. Isn't it it they must lose it beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know you're there you got the netting you've got two thousand bees and essentially you're trying to steal honey. mMorning morning morning hello not coming in hello - look there's a Ferrari over there can you see that Ferrari yes it's going bet fast. Isn't it well morning thank you must be just walking back with all these bees room at some point in let's go what * am i doing I'm coming to me hell! Goddamn be and you don't get the normal perks of a normal job like people who work in an office. They have other people there you can flirt you know you're gonna. Hey hey you new here are you getting lift you want a coffee is he's gonna get a coffee did you know. I like my coffee like I like my women in a plastic cup. Beekeepers can't do that. Hello there you're in the street. You're new aren't you? You want a cup of coffee. Just no problems no no real problem. Throwing a cup of coffee from you you're covered in bees. I like my women like I like my coffee. They're coming to me back off back off back off back off back off always just behind you if beekeepers did get together and go on a sort of general outing and they in a van with a load of bees flying faster faster faster faster faster let go put your foot down yes
How can you get stung by the alphabet?
A bee. See?
A man goes to the doctir to have a bump checked
The doctor takes a quick look and goes "Yep, that's definitely a sting from the new poisonous bees. 8 out of 9 cases are fatal, but you're very lucky, because in your case it's bee nine."
Allergic
A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a woman being given first aid. One of the golfers asked what had happened, and he was informed that the woman had been stung by a bee and was having an allergic reaction.
"Where was she bit?" one of the players asked. "Between the first and second hole," was the reply.
The player responded, "Wow, she must have been standing right over the hive."
I didn't exactly ace my "capture the wasp" exam.
I got a bee.
Where do bees stay while on vacation?
Air Bee and Bee
A boy is at a spelling bee.
Judge: "Your word is 'buffering'."
Boy: "Let me know when it's loaded."
Judge: "It's not 'loaded'. It's 'buffering'."
Boy: "No problem, just tell me when..."
Judge: "Buffering!"
Boy: "Oh, OK..."
Judge: "No, it's actually B-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G."
Arabic Joke: What do you call a bee that is really nice around you?
A Habi-bee
I hired a bee to run my IT security department
He makes really good honeypots
