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Bee Jokes

178 bee jokes and hilarious bee puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about bee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Buzz in with a smile by checking out some hilarious bee jokes! From beekeeping and hornets to beeswax and preschoolers, we've got the perfect bee joke for any occasion! Check out our selection of bee jokes for birthdays and other special occasions.

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Funniest Bee Short Jokes

Short bee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bee humour may include short buzz jokes also.

  1. My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
  2. I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. You've given me one too many.
    That one is a freebie.
  3. I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
    You've given me one too many I said.
    That one is a freebie
  4. I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. Sir, you gave me an extra. That's a freebie.
  5. If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
  6. Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
  7. Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'." Contestant: "C-U-N..."
    Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."
  8. God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
  9. My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered... "Swarm."
  10. Yesterday my wife got stung by a bee while golfing I asked where, and she informed me it was between the first and second holes. Being the helpful type, I advised her that her stance was too wide.

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Bee One Liners

Which bee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bee? I can suggest the ones about honey and honeybee.

  1. Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter? Swarm
  2. Where did noah keep his bees? In the ark hives
  3. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi
    I'll let myself out now.
  4. What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
  5. God initially planned to use wasps to make honey. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
  6. Male bees die after mating. That's basically their entire lives. Honey. nut. Cheerio.
  7. How do we know Noah kept bees All the evidence was in the ark hives
  8. I found a girlfriend who's into bees. She's a keeper.
  9. Where do Bees use the bathroom? At the BP station. (thanks grandma)
  10. If you want to know how many bees Noah had... Check the ark hives.
  11. Male bees die after mating. -And that's why they call it a honey nut cheerio
  12. What do you call a bee hive with no exit? Un-bee-leave-able
  13. God's plan to use wasps to pollinate didn't work out. So he had to resort to Plan Bee.
  14. My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard. She's a keeper.
  15. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A Maybe.

Bee And Honey Jokes

Here is a list of funny bee and honey jokes and even better bee and honey puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings You know she's a keeper.
  • Why was the bee's hair sticky? Because he used a honey comb.
  • A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
    Student: Honey
    Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
    Student: Milk
    Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
    Student: Homework
  • Why do bees love the first day of spring? Because it's the start of the honey-making season!
  • My girlfriend surprised me when she came home today in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling of honey. She's a keeper.
  • If honey bees make honey, what type of bees make milk? Boo bees...... My dad just told me this one
  • my girlfriend says she can lick the honey from a beehive so gently that the bees won't even know she's there she's a keeper
  • What kind of bees make milk, not honey? Boo-bies (.)(.)
  • What kind of bees produce milk instead of honey? Boobies!
  • How do they make honey in the Middle East? From a shawarma bees

Spelling Bee Jokes

Here is a list of funny spelling bee jokes and even better spelling bee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • At the spelling bee Judge: Your word is "there."
    Me: In a sentence please.
    Judge: They're parking their car over there.
  • Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
    [Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
    [Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
  • At the Spelling bee Judge: Your word is 'Invulnerable'.
    Me: I-N-V-U-
    Judge: I am pretty awesome.
  • "Your word is their..." "Your word is their," said the spelling bee judge.
    The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence.
    "They're looking for their dog over there," replied the judge.
  • A child was competing in a spelling bee and was doing quite well, until the moderator said: "your word is 'inward' ".... Spelling bee contestant: "N-I-G-G..."
    Moderator: "Jesus no, stop please! "
  • You hear about the kid who lost the spelling bee on the word "dairy"? ...I told him there's no use crying over misspelled milk.
  • What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee
  • Breaking: Spelling Bee Official Pronounced Dead. He then used it in a sentence.
  • What's even more impressive than a talking dog ? A spelling bee!
  • I've always found spelling bees easy B E E S. Simple.

Bee Hive Jokes

Here is a list of funny bee hive jokes and even better bee hive puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After years of research, scientists discovered bees are allergic to pollen Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
  • Have you ever realised how pretty the second letter of the word hive is? I've always said that beauty is in the I of the bee holder
  • Bees like to stay huddled up together in their hives during the winter Swarm
  • How do Australian bees please the queen bee? They bee hive
  • What do bees say when they get back to the hive? Honey! I'm home!
  • A man tried robbing a bee farm without success. He broke out in hives when he broke into hives.
  • A beekeeper said he wanted to train his hives to work with stitching and rope. I asked him if he really thought that would work, and he nodded and said May bee sew, may bee knot
  • Why do bees stay in their hives in winter? Swarm.
    What did they bee say to his wife when they were running late for dinner?
    Hurry up honey.
  • How do bees get into their hive? They get buzzed in!
  • What does a bee say when it returns to it's hive? Honey, I'm home!

Honey Bee Jokes

Here is a list of funny honey bee jokes and even better honey bee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do bees keep their hair looking nice? A HONEY COMB
  • Male bees die after mating… So basically their life is:
    Honey. Nut. Cheerio.
  • What does a bee use to style its hair? A honey comb.
  • If my current career doesn't work out I'm going try my hand as a honey farmer. It's my plan bee.
  • Why did the Bee laundromat close down? They were arrested for honey laundering.
  • People have often said that bees making honey sounds cool... ...but honestly, I never understood what all the buzz was about.
  • What kind of bee gives milk instead of honey? Boobees
  • A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower... It was a cross pollination.
  • What do you call the secret organization of tight-lipped Soviet honey makers? The Cagey Bees
  • Did you know male bees literally die after they make love. Yep, it's: Honey-Nut-Cherrio!

Ridiculous Bee Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about bee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beekeeper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bee pranks.

If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?

Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"

The other day I visited the thrift shop and picked up an old record album called 'Sound of Wasps'.

When I got home and played it I realised it didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I'd been playing the Bee side.

A woman is playing golf...

... when she gets stung by a bee. She goes into the clubhouse and tells an employee what has happened:
Woman: "Hello, I was stung by a bee."
Man: "Where were you stung?"
Woman: "Between the first hole and the second hole."
Man: "Your stance is too wide."

A man runs out of petrol

A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.
"What seems to be the problem?'' asked the bee.
"I'm out of petrol,'' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
`"Try it now,'' said the bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow,'' the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank?''
"BP,'' answered the bee.

A woman ran screaming into the pro shop at the golf course...

"I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole!"
The guy at the counter said "Your stance is too wide".

2 guys walk into a bar

"Hey donkey get the beers in" shouts o**... to the other.
The man walks up to the barman and stutters " two bee... two bee... two beers please?" the barman starts to pour the mans beer when the guys friend shouts "Donkey! get me some nuts too"
The man stood at the bar says to the barman " two pa... two pa.. two packets of nuts too please"
The barman says to the guy "That's a bit mean, why does he call you donkey?" and the man replies "It's OK, He aw... he aw.. he always calls me that"

Go away bee, don't bother me.

A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.

A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.
"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"
"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.
"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

Why did the CIA t**... the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office

The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"

So, I just tried a new drinking game.

I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.

What do bees make joke

Logan: Patton and I don't have pet names for each other !
Virgil: Uh huh...
Virgil: So do you know what bees make ?
Logan: Honey ?
Patton from the other room: Yes babe ?
Virgil: Don't lie to my face again !

What do you call a s**... Bee

A Whorenet

A lady walks into the pro shop to complain about bee stings

A lady walks into the pro shop to complain about bee stings while she is golfing.
The pro asks: where'd you get stung?
Between the first and second hole , she answers.
The pro replied: your stance is too wide .

Golf lessons

A young woman has been taking golf lessons. She has just started playing her first round of golf when she suffers a bee sting. The pain is so intense she decides to return to the clubhouse.
Her golf pro sees her come into the clubhouse and asks, "why are you back so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee"
"where?" he asks.
"between the first and second hole," she replies.
He nods knowingly and says, "apparently your stance is too wide."

I found a vinyl record of Wasp Sounds at a charity shop...

...when I got home I put it on to listen to it - it was all wrong - the buzzing noises was nothing like wasp sounds.
Then I realised - I was playing the Bee side!

My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

How do you catch a s**... bee?

With a hornet.

Lady golfer

A lady comes up to the clubhouse after playing playing a few holes and she is fuming
She says
"A bee stung me"
The man at the desk replies
"where did the bee sting you
The lady replies
"Between hole 1 and 2"
The man at the desk says
"That's your problem, your stance is too wide"

Today I brought home a record I found at Goodwill. It was called "Sounds Wasps Make"...

I put it on my record player and thought, "This doesn't sound anything like wasps!" Then I realized I was playing the bee side.

What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee?

Nothing.

What do you call a bee that was born in the States?

A USB...

I'll see myself out.

A guy looking to become a bee farmer went to a seasoned Apiarist and asked if he could buy some bees off him to start up a hive. The Apiarist said he had plenty to spare and was having a sale for 50 bees for $50...

The man bought the bees, went home and began putting the bees into the empty hive; he counted each one to make sure he got his moneys worth but by the end of the gruelling task he realized he had not 50 but 51 bees. He called the seasoned Apiarist and asked why he was given 51 bees when the sale was for 50.
The Apiarist replied: >!that's a free-bee!<

My dad always told me that if a bee is bothering you, stare at it intently instead of trying to swat it.

Because ….seeing is bee leaving.

A lady golfer was stung by a bee.

So she went back to the clubhouse, and met with the club manager. The manager asked her "Where did you get stung?" The lady replied "Oh, between the first and second holes." The manager then said, "Well, obviously, your stance is too wide."

A woman got stung by a bee on the golf course

As she was allergic to bee stings, she frantically ran to the clubhouse to get help. "I've been stung by a bee," she cried to the clubhouse attendant. "Where were you stung?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole," she said. He replied, "I think your stance may be a little too wide."

I got a vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I was playing the bee side

What bee produces milk?

A boo-bee

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

Stop me if you've heard this one...

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, You are back early, what's wrong? I was stung by a bee! she said. Where? he asked. Between the first and second hole. she replied. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide.

What is Russia's most secretive insect?

Cagey Bee.

A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.

Husband: Body of water, three letters.
Wife: Bay.
Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.
Wife: Bee.
Husband: To hush someone, four letters.
Wife: shhh.
Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.
Wife: Ark.
Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip.

On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas again.
The second bee steps up and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further. It works, until they run out of gas for the third time.
This time the squirrel chimes in and says, Don't worry, I'll pee in the tank. It'll get us a little further.
But the man says, Don't bother, she only runs on BP.

I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect...

....That Hepatitis Bee

A Bee on a Fly

(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.

A male bee dies after s**...

I guess you could call that a honey nut cheerio

What do you get when a bee is stuck in a garage ?

Garbage.

A lady runs up to a golf pro giving a lesson ...

... and says "Help! I've just been stung by a bee!". The golf pro asks where. The lady says "Between the first and second holes." The pro says, "Well, I can tell you right now your stance is way too wide."

A couple walk Into the clubhouse after a round of golf.

The pro asks "how was you round?" The husband says "it was good but my wife got stung by a bee". "Where did she get stung?" "Between the first and second hole". The pro says "well her stance was too wide."

A woman who is playing golf gets stung by a bee.

She rushes into the pro shop and says "I've been stung by a bee! I've been stung by a bee!
The pro say "Where?"
The woman says "Between the first and second hole."
The pro says "Your stance is too wide."

A woman was playing a round of golf

A woman was playing a round of golf when a bee stung her.
Fearing an allergic reaction she ran to the clubhouse and told the pro that she had been stung.
He asked where and she said between the first and second holes.
He replied "your stance is too wide".

This ones for the kids: What did the bee say to the flower?

Hey bud!

A boy and his father are playing catch

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast (no honey or butter.)
Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I"?

A woman golfer walks up to a grounds keeper..

A woman golfer walks up to a grounds keeper and says, "I just got stung by a bee!" "Where at??" Asks the grounds keeper. "Between the first and second hole." Replied the woman. The grounds keeper looks her up and down and says, "Well, It sounds like your stance is too wide."
Cr

A young woman had been taking golf lessons all week long.

She'd just begun her first game of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense, she couldn't continue her game. She decided to go back to the clubhouse and get some medical attention.
Her golf Pro saw her enter the clubhouse and asked,
"Why are you back so soon?" What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," she answered.
"Where?," he asked.
"Between the first and second holes," she replied.
He nodded his head knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

Women playing golf goes to doctor

She tells the doctor while playing golf a bee stung her between the first hole and the second hole, the doctor replies your stance is to wide

Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung.

I was too quick with the s**....

There's a type of bee that after it stings you, you pass out and it tries to have s**... with you.

It's a Cos-Bee.

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

TIL: A fly will drink so much v**... it can hardly stand, but a bee will only take a little sip.

Just enough to get buzzed.

Taking a lesson because her golf game had been going so badly, a woman had just started her first round when she was stung by a bee.

Distraught and rather angry and disheartened besides, she went back into the clubhouse and told the golf pro about the incident.
"Where did it sting you?" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole," she replied.
The pro shook his head and quickly exclaimed: "That's your problem right there. You have your feet too far apart.

What do you call an American Bee?

A USB.

A woman is stung by a bee on a golf course

She goes into anaphylactic shock due to an allergy and they take her to a doctor.
"Where was she stung?", asked the doctor.
"Between the first and second hole.",
"Well she may need to work on her stance."

Did you hear about the bee that became a russian spy?

He always was a cagey bee

A man goes to the doctor

A man goes to the doctor and says, "I've been stung by a bee! Can you put some ointment on it?"
The doctor says, "Sure, but I think the bee flew away already."
(Courtesy of my 10 year old)

A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.

A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."

A woman returned home from a round of golf.

Her husband asked how it went. She replied, "Well, OK, but I got stung by a bee." He responded, "Where did it sting you?" She said, "Between the first and second hole," whereupon he exclaimed, "I told you your stance was too wide!"

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face

Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the s**....

What do you call an angry bee?

A cross pollinator!

What do you call a bee that comes from US?

USB !!
sorry, I am going to shoot myself now!

jokes about bee