Bed Time Jokes

33 bed time jokes and hilarious bed time puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bed time that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bed Time Short Jokes

Short bed time jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bed time humour may include short bedtime jokes also.

  1. My 12 year old just told me a joke He said I've been trying to cut down the amount of video games I play, I'm only playing for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Last night I went to bed 8 times.
  2. The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
    I'm so glad they dug it up just in time
  3. The last time my wife and I had a fight it ended up with her literally crawling to me on her hands and knees. She said "Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!"
  4. Dad -- Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. Daughter -- What's that got to do with anything?

    Dad -- That means it's pasture bed time.
  5. Doctor: describe your average night Patient: they wear suit of armor
    Doctor: no, i mean at bed time
    Patient: they probably take it off
  6. My wife and I had a huge argument today. By the time we were finished, she was on her knees begging... for me to come out from under the bed and act like an adult.
  7. My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time. He got a trophy.
  8. Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat Ratatouille's Remy hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold
  9. I told my daughter.... "Time for bed the cows are sleeping!"
    She said "what's that supposed to mean"?
    I said back " well it's pasture bedtime"
  10. I drove past a farm late at night and I saw a young cow walking around, all alone. I pulled over and asked, Isn't it pasture bed time?

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Bed Time One Liners

Which bed time one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bed time? I can suggest the ones about nap time and night stand.

  1. What does Jeff Bezos do right before bed time? He puts his pjamazon.
  2. Why are gamers bad in bed? They are always trying to beat their best time.
  3. Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.
  4. What does a CIA Agent do when it's time for bed? He Goes Under Cover.
  5. What time is bed time at the Catholic church? When the big hand touches the little hand!
  6. What did the cow say to her calf? It's pasture bed time
  7. My son throws his linen off his bed every time he has a nightmare. He's scared sheetless.
  8. What time does Roger Federer go to bed? Tennish
  9. What time did Sean Connery go to bed when he visited Wimbledon? Tennish
  10. When was bed time at Kevin Spacey's house? When the big hand touched the little hand.
  11. I just lasted 61 mins in bed a new record! Thanks Daylight savings time...
  12. How does Cthulhu make sure he will wake up on time? He goes to bed R'lyeh.
  13. I love eating food at midnight It's pasta bed time!
  14. What is a bed's least favourite time of year? Spring break.
  15. How do you put on a fitted bed sheet correctly the first time? Step 1: Wrong.

Heartwarming Bed Time Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about bed time you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goodnight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bed time pranks.

Why did Anakin Skywalker hate bed time?

Because that's when the sandman came.
And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too

Operator: "911 what's your emergency?"

Person: "Mariah Carey just bombed Times Square."

Why did the spaghetti say she was so tired?

because is was pasta bed time

Why did the sheep all fall asleep before bed time?

They tried to do a head count.

Doctor: Why did you take your medicine before the prescribed time?

Patient: Because I wanted to surprise the bacteria.

How did Michael Jackson tell when it was bed time at never never land ranch?

When the big hand touched the little hand.

What do you call overtime at a mattress store?

Bed time and a half.

Why did the Italian miss his dinner?

It'a was'a pasta his bed time

What did the farmer say to the cow at 10pm?

It's pasteur bed time!

Bed time story

Skadaddle Skadiddle
The dad and the fiddle
The cow flew over the moon
The bowl ran away with the spoon
Son: I knew it! Your crack smelled weird today!

jokes about bed time