Bed Sore Jokes
5 bed sore jokes and hilarious bed sore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bed sore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Bed Sore Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good bed sore joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Husband and wife decide to make a password...
...for s**...,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.
My wife and I decided to spice things up and roll play our actual jobs, her a nurse and me a handyman.
She went to bed early from working a double and her feet being sore and I didn't even show up.
My Girlfriend Just Got Her Wisdom Teeth Out
She was telling me that her face was sore, so I told her she was a *"sore-bae*, get it? Sorbet?". And then she turned around in bed and wouldn't talk to me.
A portrait painter is on his death bed when he asks his son to come close..
He says "Son, I'm dying. So listen closely." He sneezes on the boy's face. "I have a skin rash, dry cough, pink eye, diarrhea, headache, koplik's spots, sensitivity to light, sore t**..., and/or swollen lymph nodes." Then he coughs on the boy's mouth. "So I want you to make sure that your brother gets m'brushes." As he says this he spits in the boy's eye. "Make sure your sister gets m'paintings." He convulses, spilling his bed pan over the boy's chest, before speaking his last words, "I want you to get m'easels."
The pig farmer
The pig farmer is having trouble with his pigs not breeding so he visits the vet. The vet suggests he try artificial insemination, and that if successful, the pigs will roll in the mud. Being a simple pig farmer, he thinks "artificial insemination" means "do it himself."
To save his embarrassment and to give himself and the pigs some privacy, he loads them into the back of his pickup and takes them to the woods to do the deed.
The next day he wakes up and the pigs are, unfortunately, not in the mud. Back into the pickup and out to the woods for a second day...
The next morning he wakes up and the pigs are still not rolling in the mud. The farmer loads them into the pickup again and takes them out to the woods.
The next morning the farmer is too tired and sore to get out of bed so he asks his wife if the pigs are rolling in the mud. She responds, "They aren't rolling in the mud, but they're piled into the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
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