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Beckons Jokes

9 beckons jokes and hilarious beckons puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beckons that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Quirky and Hilarious Beckons Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What is a good beckons joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"

A man is sitting at the doctor's office

As he is doing this, he playfully rotates the wedding ring on his finger. An older gentleman across from him beckons and whispers "Son, there ain't no combination that's gonna unlock that thing".

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your f**...' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

Three blonde women stumble across some tracks...

The first one spots them in a large clearing and beckons her friends over. "Look! I think I've found some deer tracks!"
The second woman snorts. "Nonsense," she exclaims, "those look like bear tracks to me."
"Well they can't be both," says the third blonde impatiently. "So what kind of tracks are they?"
And then the train hits them.

Best pickup line ever

A guy beckons a girl to come over with one finger
Yes, she says as she approaches the guy
Brilliantly, he replies if I could get you to come with one finger, imagine what I could do with two!

A small, plain looking guy is sitting by himself in a bar.

All evening girls walk up to his table, talk to him for a bit and then they both head out the door and come back 30 minutes later.
Another guy, getting no action at all, beckons over the bartender and asks if he knows what the guy's secret is.
"Beats me" says the bartender. "All he does is sit there l**... his eyebrows."

So, a middle school science class is learning about genetics

and the students are working with recessive and dominant eye colors in punnett squares. A few minutes into the activity one student beckons the teacher over. He has a very concerned look on his face.
The teacher is a little worried. This has happened before. Every once in a while a student realizes that he is adopted or his dad isn't who he thought.
The teacher hesitantly walks over to the concerned student, ready to have a difficult conversation.
"Do you have a question about the assignment?" the teacher asks.
"Well," the student replies, "I think I might be adopted, because I have blue eyes and both my moms have brown eyes!"
[According to a Special Ed teacher at my school, this really happened to her.]

Mailman's last day on the job

A mailman is on his last day of the job after 20 years delivering the mail on the same route. He is going about his regular routine, when he is greeted at the door by a stunning blonde. She's wearing nothing more than a skimpy robe and beckons him inside. Without a word she leads him up the stairs and into the bedroom and proceeds to give him the best s**... of his life. After they both get dressed, she takes his hand and leads him downstairs. There is a gourmet meal prepared on the table and she pulls out a chair and indicates for him to sit down. Without a word he sits and they eat until they cannot eat another bite. He finishes eating and slumps back in his chair. The woman stands up and walks over to him, slipping a $1 bill in his front pocket. Bewildered the man finally asks "What in the world is all of this for?". The woman responds, "I heard it was your last day and asked my husband what we should do for you. He said 'Fuck him, give him a dollar'. The breakfast was my idea".

Three nuns die and go to heaven...

...where St. Peter greets them and informs them that in order to get into heaven, they must answer a question apeice. The first nun, who happens to be a novice nun, goes first.
"For you," says Peter, "an easy question, because of your short time as a nun. Who were the first two people?"
"That's easy," replies the nun excitedly. "Adam and Eve."
"Congratulations," says Peter, "You're in." He beckons the second nun forward. The second nun has been with the church for ten years and knows quite a bit about her religion.
"For you," says Peter, "a moderately difficult question. What color was Eve's hair?"
"I've never... I've never actually studied that," replies the nun. "But I'll take a guess. Blonde?"
"Great job," says Peter. "You're in."
He turns to the third nun, who was the head nun of her church. "And for you, a most difficult question indeed. What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in Paradise?"
After a moment of thinking, the nun looks stumped. "Gosh, that's a hard one."
"Congratulations, you're in."

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