Beaver Jokes
116 beaver jokes and hilarious beaver puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beaver that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some funny beaver jokes? Check out our collection of jokes about beavers below. From beaver puns to Beaver jokes, we've got all the jokes about beavers you need!
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Funniest Beaver Short Jokes
Short beaver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beaver humour may include short otter jokes also.
- A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.
- Hey Guys! They brought back Angry Beavers! Isn't it great? Its been renamed to The View, however...
- How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood? None because only beavers give a dam.
- If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house? Seven because ice cream has no bones
- Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off. - Why are beavers always happy? They dont give a dam!!!!
- The World is ending. The God's wrath is upon us. Beavers have become sentient and established a country of theur own. It is a Dam Nation.
- What is a beavers favorite junk food? Woodchips
- Which species of ants prefer to eat beavers ? Lesbi-ants
- Canada is not a vast empty woodland. Our monetary system proves our civility. 5 beavers is worth a caribou
4 caribous are worth a loon
And 2 loons are worth a polar bear.
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Beaver One Liners
Which beaver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beaver? I can suggest the ones about moose and bees.
- I just finished a documentary on beavers Best dam movie I've ever seen.
- What did the river say when it saw beavers approaching? Well I'll be dammed...
- Just watched a documentary about beavers... it was the best dam program I've ever seen
- For Christmas, what do beavers give? A dam.
- Otters are more laid back than beavers.. They just don't give a dam
- What did the river say when a family of beavers decided to move in? I'll be dammed
- How can you tell that only male beavers cut down trees? Because they're all fellers.
- Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks? The riverbank.
- Just watched a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I've ever seen.
- Two beavers are looking over a river. One turns to the other and says, "Dam it."
- Why do we call lady parts beavers? Because they devour wood.
- What do angry beavers build? DAMNITS!
- What do conservative beavers build? Darns
- Why are vaginas called beavers? Because they eat wood!
- I get beavers and similar animals mixed up. I otter know better.
Beaver Dam Jokes
Here is a list of funny beaver dam jokes and even better beaver dam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do beavers make the best neighbors? Because they mind their own dam business.
- Did You Hear That Someone Stole a Bunch of Prime Timber? Authorities eventually tracked it down to a group of beavers. Not everyone was convinced but the evidence was damming.
- I was telling a joke while camping with the kids, when some beavers came along and started felling trees. Dam ruined the punchline.
- Why do beavers always have to care? Because they always have time to build a dam.
- I was in a bad mood when my annoying sister asked me, "What do beavers do to a river?" God dam it
- What did the river say when it saw the b**... coming? Well I'll be dammed
- Why was the b**... homeless? He just couldn't give a dam.
- What did the b**... find after his home was destroyed by a flood? Not a dam thing.
- The b**... says "I didn't build that, Your Honor." The judge points at the picture of the pile of logs in the river and says "we have damming evidence against you"
I'll see myself out - What's the worst part about being a b**...? It's a lot of dam work.
Beaver And Wood Jokes
Here is a list of funny beaver and wood jokes and even better beaver and wood puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A nature organization person sees my boss and I walking by and says "stop for nature?" Boss: "number?"
Nature girl: "you don't have enough wood for that."
Boss: "not after your b**...." - A b**... meets a squirrel Squirrel: Nuts?
b**...: No wood
Beaver Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny beaver animal jokes and even better beaver animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Beavers are great dam builders and Canada's national animal. That's why Canada is the best d**... country in the world!
- What's the name of the latest gay sitcom? "Leave it, it's b**...."
- Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse k**... a duck at a b**....
- Save the tree, eat a b**....
- What do you call an animal that builds dams in the rain? A wet b**...
Beaver Moon Jokes
Here is a list of funny beaver moon jokes and even better beaver moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This Thanksgiving's super moon is a b**... Moon ... After it's waxing phase it will be a Brazilian Moon .
Laughter Beaver Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about beaver you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean badger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beaver pranks.
Nostalgia: What did June Cleaver say to her husband, Ward, in the morning?
Don't you think you were a little rough on the b**... last night?
What did the b**... say when the bank wanted to foreclosure his home, and he would face prison time if he didn't?
I don't give a dam.
What does a French b**... call her home? (From my 8 year old)
Madame
What did the b**... say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?
Cod dam
No. I'm not a taxidermist.
I did say I would stuff your b**....
Why did the b**... not get involved in the rival b**...'s business scandal?
He was minding his own dam business
A doe runs up to a b**... after a big rainstorm.
"b**..., come quick! The forest is flooding and you are our only hope!"
"Frankly my deer, I don't give a dam."
Did you hear about the new gay sitcom?
" Leave it, it's b**...."
Have you heard about that new gay sitcom?
It's called "Leave It, It's b**...."
June was sore.
She scolded Ward Cleaver.
"You were awfully hard on the b**... last night Ward!!"
I saw a b**... movie last night.
And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen.
Where does a b**... priest live?
In a God Dam House!
So I asked my uncle how he felt about the Ducks this season
He replies "I finally know what it feels like to be a b**... fan."
A toothless b**... walks into a pub and asks...
...is the bar tender here?
What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano?
A diseased b**... on your o**....
What did the b**... say to the Otter?
Eat me.
b**... curry
A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.
Canadian: "Have you ever tried b**... curry?"
Englishman: "b**... curry,!?"
Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."
What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano?
Finding a diseased b**... on your o**....
A distraught farmer asked a preacher what would happen if he killed a b**... who had begun working near the canal by his farm.
"d**... if you do, dammed if you don't."
A b**... was praying to God, and said...
Oh g**...
What do you call a singing rodent that lives in a dam?
Just-a b**...
What does an otter have that a b**... does not?
Otter parts.
So there's these two beavers...
one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says
"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"
What does the b**... say?
It's just one dam job after another!
Why was the Islamic b**... upset?
He had to ram-a-dam.
One b**... wanted to rent a house
The other one didn't give a dam
If Missouri and Oregon became one state....
It'd be known as the show me your b**... state.
What do you call a Canadian t**...?
A b**... dam
What did the selfish b**... say to the deer that asked it to help stop the flooding affecting its grazing grounds?
Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.
What did the b**... say when he chipped his tooth?
Dam it!
What did the tree say to the bullying b**...?
Gnawed again.
What does a b**... say after a good day?
What did the b**... say to Satan?
Well, I'll be dammed.
My b**... left me and she's never coming back
She said I'm not worth a dam.
What did the catholic b**... say about his leaking work of art?
God dam it.
A wife tells her husband her underwear cost $300...
The husband screams "Three hundred dollars!? That's outrageous!" The wife says "Well you don't wrap a beautiful jewel in newspaper".
The husband replies "Yeah, but you don't gift wrap a dead b**..., either".
I loved watching "Leave it to b**..."
Just so I could hear June say "Gosh Ward, you sure were hard on the b**... last night"
Whats the name of that b**... supporting group?
*d**...*
Anyone here eat a b**... before?
I hear they taste pretty dam good.
What did the b**... say after it hit a wall?
Dam!
What do you call it when rodents invade a b**... colony?
Hamsterdam
The other day I overheard my wife on the phone with a taxidermist...
She kept going on about how she loved how he stuffed her b**....
After a fatal river rise, what did the commander b**... say to all the other beavers?
Dam it.
What did the selfish b**... say?
I don't give a dam.
First attempt at dad jokes:what did father b**... told his son when he constructed his first dam?
Dam son!!!
Why did the b**... suddenly start singing when he fell into the water from the dam he had built?
He was now JustIn TimberLake.
A b**... goes into a bar
A b**... goes into a bar,sees a mans standing behind the bar and asks,"is the bar tender here."
What did one b**... say to the other b**... when he fell in the river?
d**...
What do you call a communist b**...?
A dam c**...
What did the b**... say when he swam into a wall?
Dam it
Why should you never mess with a b**... in the wild?
Because it's none of your dam business.
What's the lesbian version of a c**...
A b**... dam
A toothless b**...
A toothless b**... walks into a bar and asks...
"Where's the bar tender?"
Why did the b**... need an alarm clock?
It was to dam early.
What was the dirtiest thing said on television in the 50s?
Ward, you were a little hard on the b**... last night.
What did the male b**... say to the female b**... when she said she wanted him to build something nice for her?
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam.
A b**... is eating an ice cream
He has a sour look on his face. 'I wish I'd reach the stick already' he mumbles to himself.
What did the b**... say when his crush rejected him?
Dam.
What did the b**... say when he saw his new house for the first time?
Dam!
What does a b**... from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Is your mom a b**...?
cause dam
i just bought a b**... and named him clint...
Clint eatswood
What did the proud b**... say, while looking at what his kid b**... built?
d**... son!
b**... joke
Today I watched a programme about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen
What did the b**... say to the tree?
It's been nice gnawing you!
b**... 1: Sir, the river is running at full capacity with no obstruction!
b**... 2: d**...!
b**... 1- You're fired!
b**... 2- You can't fire me, this isn't your dam business !
