The Best 73 Beaver Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Beaver jokes. There are some beaver groundhog jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these beaver moose puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Beaver Jokes and Puns

Nostalgia: What did June Cleaver say to her husband, Ward, in the morning?

Don't you think you were a little rough on the Beaver last night?

Why was the beaver homeless?

He just couldn't give a dam.

What did the beaver say when the bank wanted to foreclosure his home, and he would face prison time if he didn't?

I don't give a dam.

Beaver joke, What did the beaver say when the bank wanted to foreclosure his home, and he would face prison time

What does a French beaver call her home? (From my 8 year old)

Madame

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam


What does the Beaver say when his wife's flow is too strong?

Dam it!

What does the beaver say when his wife is on her period?

Dam it!

Beaver joke, What does the beaver say when his wife is on her period?

Why did the beaver not get involved in the rival beaver's business scandal?

He was minding his own dam business

A doe runs up to a beaver after a big rainstorm.

"Beaver, come quick! The forest is flooding and you are our only hope!"
"Frankly my deer, I don't give a dam."

Did you hear about the new gay sitcom?

" Leave it, it's Beaver."

What's the worst part about being a beaver?

It's a lot of dam work.

You can explore beaver dirtiest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean beaver twigs dad jokes. There are also beaver puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


June was sore.

She scolded Ward Cleaver.
"You were awfully hard on the Beaver last night Ward!!"

Why do beavers make the best neighbors?

Because they mind their own dam business.

I saw a beaver movie last night.

And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen.

I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.

I otter know better.

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

Beaver joke, If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will i

[NSFW] Johnny was playing outside...

When he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "What's that?" She says, "Well, it's a beaver Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, except his mom is taking the shower. He says, "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."

Where does a beaver priest live?

In a God Dam House!

A toothless beaver walks into a pub and asks...

...is the bar tender here?


Talking to a Beaver

So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, "Well dam."

What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ.

To save a tree...

Eat a beaver.

What did the Beaver say to the Otter?

Eat me.

Beaver curry

A Canadian is showing his English friend around his hometown.

Canadian: "Have you ever tried beaver curry?"

Englishman: "Beaver curry,!?"

Canadian: " Yeah, it's like normal curry, but just a bit otter."

What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano?

Finding a diseased beaver on your organ.

A distraught farmer asked a preacher what would happen if he killed a beaver who had begun working near the canal by his farm.

"Damned if you do, dammed if you don't."

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.

A beaver was praying to God, and said...

Oh goddammit

What do you call a singing rodent that lives in a dam?

Just-a Beaver

What does an otter have that a beaver does not?

Otter parts.

So there's these two beavers...

one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.

Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."

Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says

"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"

What does the beaver say?

It's just one dam job after another!

Why was the Islamic Beaver upset?

He had to ram-a-dam.

If Missouri and Oregon became one state....

It'd be known as the show me your beaver state.

What do you call a Canadian tampon?

A beaver dam

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked it to help stop the flooding affecting its grazing grounds?

Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

What did the tree say to the bullying beaver?

Gnawed again.

What did the beaver say to Satan?

Well, I'll be dammed.

My beaver left me and she's never coming back

She said I'm not worth a dam.

What did the catholic beaver say about his leaking work of art?

God dam it.

A wife tells her husband her underwear cost $300...

The husband screams "Three hundred dollars!? That's outrageous!" The wife says "Well you don't wrap a beautiful jewel in newspaper".

The husband replies "Yeah, but you don't gift wrap a dead beaver, either".

I loved watching "Leave it to Beaver"

Just so I could hear June say "Gosh Ward, you sure were hard on the Beaver last night"

What is a beavers favorite junk food?

Woodchips

Whats the name of that beaver supporting group?

*Damnation*

Anyone here eat a beaver before?

I hear they taste pretty dam good.

What did the beaver say after it hit a wall?

Dam!

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony?

Hamsterdam

The other day I overheard my wife on the phone with a taxidermist...

She kept going on about how she loved how he stuffed her beaver.

After a fatal river rise, what did the commander beaver say to all the other beavers?

Dam it.

Two beavers are looking over a river.

One turns to the other and says, "Dam it."

What did the river say when it saw the beaver coming?

Well I'll be dammed

We had no running water so I went outside to see what the problem was and noticed a beaver decided to make its house in the hole where I get my water from and I thought to myself....

Well dam

What did the selfish beaver say?

I don't give a dam.

First attempt at dad jokes:what did father beaver told his son when he constructed his first dam?

Dam son!!!

A nature organization person sees my boss and I walking by and says "stop for nature?"

Boss: "number?"

Nature girl: "you don't have enough wood for that."

Boss: "not after your beaver."

Why did the beaver suddenly start singing when he fell into the water from the dam he had built?

He was now JustIn TimberLake.

A beaver goes into a bar

A beaver goes into a bar,sees a mans standing behind the bar and asks,"is the bar tender here."

What did one beaver say to the other beaver when he fell in the river?

Dammit

What do you call a communist beaver?

A dam commie

What did the beaver say when he swam into a wall?

Dam it

Why are beavers always happy?

They dont give a dam!!!!

Why should you never mess with a beaver in the wild?

Because it's none of your dam business.

What did the beaver find after his home was destroyed by a flood?

Not a dam thing.

What's the lesbian version of a cockblock

A beaver dam

A toothless beaver

A toothless beaver walks into a bar and asks...

"Where's the bar tender?"

Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?

It was to dam early.

What was the dirtiest thing said on television in the 50s?

Ward, you were a little hard on the beaver last night.

The beaver says "I didn't build that, Your Honor."

The judge points at the picture of the pile of logs in the river and says "we have damming evidence against you"

I'll see myself out

What did the male beaver say to the female beaver when she said she wanted him to build something nice for her?

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam.

A beaver is eating an ice cream

He has a sour look on his face. 'I wish I'd reach the stick already' he mumbles to himself.

What did the beaver say when his crush rejected him?

Dam.

Beavers are great dam builders and Canada's national animal.

That's why Canada is the best damn country in the world!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the beaver botanist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working beaver cleaver piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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