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Beatles Jokes

87 beatles jokes and hilarious beatles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beatles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best beatles inside jokes, beatles covid jokes, beatles christmas jokes.

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Funniest Beatles Short Jokes

Short beatles jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beatles humour may include short nirvana jokes also.

  1. My dad is obsessed with The Beatles and is missing just one of their songs from his record collection. He needs Help.
  2. "Beatles or Stones?" I asked my son. "Why can't I just have something normal for dinner?" he pleaded
  3. (I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John.
  4. Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help.
  5. I found out about this cool underground band called The Beatles. Well actually only about half of them are underground at the moment.
  6. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. That would've been sublime.
  7. The Truth About The Beatles John was the brain
    Paul was the heart
    George was the spirit
    Ringo was the drummer
  8. The Beatles were sitting in the studio, making up ideas for new songs. Paul: Anyone got any ideas for how we should end Hey Jude?
    John: Nah.
    George: Nah.
    Ringo: Nah.
  9. So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio...... Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude?
    John: Nah
    George: Nah
    Ringo: Nah
    George Martin: Nah
    Paul: Perfect!
  10. Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub... ...Landlord says, "sorry mate, you're barred and those guys are banned".

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Beatles One Liners

Which beatles one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beatles? I can suggest the ones about concert and reggae.

  1. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They are both living off of dead beatles.
  2. The Beatles all walk into an orange underwater vehicle Oops, wrong sub
  3. What would it take to reunite The Beatles? 2 Bullets
  4. What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined? The Beatless
  5. Whats yellow and lives off dead beatles? Yoko Ono
  6. What does Yoko Ono and a spider have in common? They both live off of dead beatles.
  7. What would reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets
  8. What's a cow's favourite Beatles song? Hay Chewed
  9. A Danish person will not be nostalgic about old Beatles songs. But a norwegian wood.
  10. What's yellow and feeds on dead beatles? Yoko Ono
  11. I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
  12. What do you call the Russian version of The Beatles "Let It Be"? So Be It.
  13. What did people say when the Beatles broke up? Ono.
  14. What can bring The Beatles back together? Two more bullets.
  15. What's Putin's favorite Beatles song? Back in the USSR

Beatles Songs Jokes

Here is a list of funny beatles songs jokes and even better beatles songs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If The Beatles were from Hawaii... What would they have called their song, "Hello Goodbye?"
  • My sister asked me who sings the 'Black Beatles' song [OC] I told her probably John Melanin.
  • I tried buy only some of the songs off of a Beatles album But the store owner said they all come together
  • What's an unvaccinated kid's favorite Beatles song? When I'm Four
  • Did you hear what happened to Jude from the Beatles song? He died of a Sodium overdose.
  • A girl recently asked me which Beatles song describes her the best... I guess 'She's so heavy' wasn't the best choice.
  • I've named my daughter after one of the Beatles songs.. I've named my daughter after one of the Beatles songs..
    'Eleanor?'
    No, I am the Walrus.
  • What is OJ Simpson's favorite Beatles song? Not Guilty.
  • Someone recently discovered the mathematical formula underpinning every Beatles song ever! She got the Strawberry Fields Medal.
  • The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
Beatles joke

Amusing & Witty Beatles Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about beatles you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bands jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beatles pranks.

Imagine if I was asked to be a backup for Ringo Starr by the Beatles

You may say I'm a drummer but I'm not the only one...

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?

Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground.

I'm such a hipster...

I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground.

What did the Beatles eat when they were in India?

Naan, naan, naan, naanaanaanaan!

Who is the drummer for the Mexican Beatles?

g**... Starr

It's really naive to agree with the Beatles and say money can't buy you love...

Match fixing in tennis is a real problem.

s**... is like listening to the Beatles

Your parents do it and it somehow doesn't make it less cool.
Shout out to CH, because I heard it here.

If you remove Ringo Starr from The Beatles, what do you get?

The Beatless

Why do Flat Earthers hate The Beatles?

Because the Earth is round, it turns them off.

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

My Wife Said Shes Going To Jump Off A Cliff Because Of My Obsession...

With The Beatles, at first I didn't believe her. But then I Saw Her Standing There.

Son: Dad can you tell me your favorite Beatles lyric?

Son, son, son, here it comes:

How did each member of the Beatles respond when asked which letter is his favorite?

letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b

My girlfriend gifted me the entire Beatles back catalogue on tape.

I'm cassette for life.

Why can't you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert?

There's no John!

"Come together right now over me."

That can be either a Beatles lyric or a b**... slogan.

Where are all the old Beatles records stored?

The Lennon closet.

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a s**... street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?

I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand...
Courtesy of my dad when I was 5.

I'd like to see a group of Wilfred Brimley impersonators form a Beatles cover band.

They would be called The Diabeatles.

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook's right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

Really disappointed with the new Beatles album

It's all drum & bass

Yo mama so s**...

She sprayed Raid on The Beatles

What do dung beatles like on their hotdogs?

Mus-t**...

The Beatles were recording in a studio. John says, "Look! Yoko's here"

Paul, George and Ringo say: O no

I hear The Beatles influenced the COVID19 treatment policy at Italian hospitals...

Live... Let Die... Live... Let Die...

I have every Beatles album except one.

I need Help.

I am thinking of making a cover band of Beatles without the drums.

I would name it The Beatles with an extra 's'.

I'm obsessed with buying Beatles albums

I need Help!

Beatles meeting:

Paul: Any ideas on the ending for Hey Jude?
John: Nah.
George: Nah.
Ringo: Nah.

My Dad was a Musician who played with the Beatles all the time.

He had all their albums but that was his favorite.

Beatles joke, What's a cow's favourite Beatles song?

jokes about beatles