Beard Jokes

Funniest Beard Short Jokes

Short beard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beard humour may include short mustache jokes also.

1. I was invited to a party and was told "dress to kill" Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind
2. My wife told me I should shave my beard. A few months ago, I would have maybe agreed with her, but now it has really grown on me.
3. My friends Grandpa told us this when we were about 14, What did the one leg say to the other leg? Check out Shorty he's growing a beard!
4. My wife is angry because she thinks I'm letting birds make a home in my beard. They're obviously not staying though. It's just a Hairbnb.
5. I was sleeping with two twins for while in my 20s.... My friends all asked, "how can you tell them apart?" I replied, "well...Sharon has long blonde hair, and Derek has a beard."
6. My friend visited me months after I moved and said sweet beard . I said... Thanks, it's growing on me .
7. I tried growing a beard over lockdown but couldn't pull it off. Then I tried using a razor instead and that was much more effective.
8. Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
9. My friend glued a fake beard on to look like Jason Momoa I don't think he could pull it off very well
10. Man with a beard a 100 years ago: "Ok, I'll go chop down some trees." Man with beard today: " I found a great face mask that's gluten and cruelty free."

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Beard One Liners

Which beard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beard? I can suggest the ones about moustache and man shaving.

1. Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta
2. Who shaves every hour everyday and still has a beard? The barber
3. Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
4. I never liked the idea of having a beard Then it grew on me
5. My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard... He's a seasoned veteran.
6. Daddy, there's a man at the door with a beard! Tell him I already have one.
7. There's a new razor designed for dyslexics. It's the best thing since sliced beard.
8. I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me.
9. Why don't girls have beards? It's in their "jeans" ;)
10. Hey... Nice beard Thanks, it's growing on me
    Sorry.
11. My friend and I are in a beard growing contest Right now it's neck and neck.
12. If a bearded man makes vases... Is he a hairy potter?
13. I would shave my beard... but it's kind of grown on me.
14. Who shaves many times a day but still has a beard? The barber.
15. Then I said "your beard makes you look thinner" ...but that didn't seem to cheer her up

Your Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny your beard jokes and even better your beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a bowling ball & my mother-in-law? The bowling ball doesn't have a beard.
• What do you call a bearded gardener? Hairy Potter
• What did Black Beard's Otolaryngologist charge for his services? A Buccaneer!
• My wife told me to get a beard... the ideas growing on me
• Someone told me they like my beard. I said "Thanks me too... ... it's really growing on me."
• When i was younger i never thought i'd have a beard ....But eventually it started to grow on me.
• What did the teenage boys right leg say to the left leg? Hey look! The little ones growing a beard!
• Confucius say... Confucius say man with beard face rough time!
• I've never been a fan of beards… but they're growing on me.
• What do you call a religious beard? Faith-al hair.

Growing Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny growing beard jokes and even better growing beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to grow a beard At first he said no, and that he'll think about it.
  But then it grew on him.
• I originally wasn't thrilled at my girlfriend's idea for me to have a beard... But it's growing on me.
• Why did Waldo grow a manbun, a beard and start meditating three times a day? Waldo found himself
• Went to shave my beard but decided not to, the longer I keep it, the more it grows on me. Sure this is old but actually thought this the other day.
• I thought I'd hate having a quarantine beard. But, honestly, it's growing on me.
• I decided to start growing a beard. I look really ugly. Also I have a beard now.
• Why do people hate beards at the start but love them by the end? They grow on you.
• Now that No Shave November is over, I don't really want to shave off my beard It's growing on me
• My friend asked me how I liked my new beard I was working on... I told him it was growing on me
• An Italian man was having trouble growing his beard. So he did some research and found out he was native American.
  So now when asked about his beard he says
  "Eh.. It's just apache"

Beard Grows Jokes

Here is a list of funny beard grows jokes and even better beard grows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I've considered shaving off my beard But it's starting to grow on me
• If at first you don't like the beard on your face... Don't worry, it'll grow on you.
• Geronimo never grew a full beard. Cause he could only grow apache one.
• My brother told me hates my beard. I said "Don't worry, it will grow on you"
• Beards eventually grow on you. Title
• I'm keeping my beard after No-Shave November. It's really starting to grow on me.
• Recently started growing a beard and my wife asked how I liked it so far. "It's growing on me."
• I've never had a beard and don't know if I like it, but it's growing on me.
  I'll go now.
• Why wasn't Geronimo considered a proper lumbersexual? He had the axe, but he could only grow Apache beard.
• When I first started growing my beard I was indifferent But then it grew on me.

Shaving Off Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny shaving off beard jokes and even better shaving off beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the hipster shave off his beard? To keep cool during the summer…
• All this time I've been looking forward to when I can get a proper haircut again, and thinking I'll shave off this lockdown beard of mine. But over the past year, it's gradually grown on me.
• How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor
• Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
• Why do Jehovah's Witnesses believe Christ had no beard? Jesus shaves.
• Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face
• When I started no shave November I thought I would be excited to shave again in December, but now I don't want to cut my beard at all. I think it's grown on me.
• What do you do when you face the man who slept with your wife? You shave your beard.
• What do you call it when Santa Claus gets cut shaving his beard? A nick.
• If a Bearded dragon shaves would that make it just a normal dragon 🤔

Hilarious Beard Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about beard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean barber jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beard pranks.