Beak Jokes
58 beak jokes and hilarious beak puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beak that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Beak Short Jokes
Short beak jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beak humour may include short feathers jokes also.
- So a finch asks his mother... "Mom, why does my beak look different than yours?"
She replies, "Well son, I hate to break it to you, but you're adapted." - Why did the bird take a break from singing on the first day of spring? It needed some beak-ause!
- A duck walks into a bar Got any bread?
No
Got any bread?
No
Got any bread?
No, and if you ask me that again I'll nail your beak to the bar!!
Got any nails?
No!
Got any bread? - Why can a Pteranodon hold more weight in its beak than a Megalosaurus can hold in its mouth? Because a Pterabyte is bigger than a Megabyte.
- "Mom, I think my egg isn't well." "Shut up and keep eating!" "Mom, do I have to eat the beak too?"
- Ducks walk into the bar "Got any bread?"
*No*
"Got any bread?"
*No*
"Got any bread?"
*No and if you ask again, i.ll nail your beak to the bar*
"Got any nails?"
*No*
"Got any bread?" - They asks "Why is your beak is crooked?" to parrot; It says: "Why is your beak is crooked?"
:( - What has a beak but doesn't p**..., wings but doesn't fly, and feet but doesn't walk? A dead bird.
- A flock of crows flew beak-first into window at horrifying speeds. Experts suggest it was a m**... s**....
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Beak One Liners
Which beak one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beak? I can suggest the ones about bird feed and birds prey.
- What's the scientific term for an owl's beak? Hoo nose
- A woodpecker with a sore beak walks into a bar and asks "Where's the bar tender?"
- What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? A headbanger.
- A goose's beak is composed of hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen and potassium. HONK
- Why did the Chicken cross the street? Beak-cause, she didn't want to chicken out.
- What does an owl call it's beak? Hoo nose.
- What do you call a pelican with its beak taped shut? A pelicant. :-)
- Born to succeed What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak. - A heck of a bird is a Pelican It's beak can hold more than its Bellycan
- A pelican can store 3 gallons of water in his beak. Yet I don't see how the helican.
- What creature has wings, feathers and beak, and sick of waiting? A bored.
- Birds fascinate me. They beak my interest.
- If everything tastes like chicken how does the chicken taste? Dad : with its beak
- What's a young birds favourite game? #BEAK A BOO!
- What do you call a lesbian chicken? A sticky beak!
Charming Humor Beak Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about beak you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bird of prey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beak pranks.
A penguin is having car trouble...
A penguin is having car trouble, so he stops by a mechanic's shop for some repairs. He tells him he will need about an hour to find out what's wrong. The penguin walks downtown and it's a hot day, so he stops to get some ice cream. He doesn't have any arms to eat the ice cream with, so he just sticks his beak right into it. The penguin returns to the shop and the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies "Nah man, it's just ice cream."
Penguin
One day a penguin decides to go to a party. He dresses in his usual tuxedo, and then drives over to the mansion. He eats his dinner and then it was time for dessert. Ice cream, the penguin's favorite! The penguin laps up the ice cream getting it all over his beak and face feathers. On his drive home his car breaks down and he calls for a tow. After the mechanic inspects the car he proceeds to tell the penguin "You blew a seal". To which the penguin replies "No, it's ice cream"
A penguin takes his car to a garage.
The mechanic tells him it will take about an hour to diagnose the problem. So, the penguin decides to go next door to the ice cream shop for a treat while he waits.
He returns about an hour later and the mechanic tells him. "It looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin wipes his beak and says, "I did not. I was eating ice cream."
A duck walks into a bar...
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No mate, this is a bar
Duck: Got any bread ?
Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
A Penguin takes his car to a mechanic
The mechanic says that it may take a while so the penguin goes across the road to get an ice cream.
Because penguins have little fins instead of hands he gets ice cream all over his beak.
When he returns to the mechanic the mechanic, dusting off his hands, says, "looks like you've blown a seal" to which the penguin says, "Oh, no. Its just ice cream."
A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....
The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no, that's just a bit of ice cream."
How are children born?
Little peter and little Johnny asked their grandma,"How children are born Granny?".
"The Stark brings them in his beak my children", said Grandma.
Little Peter and little Johnny looked at each other and Little Jonny said ,"What do you think Peter, Shall we tell her?"
"No No" said Peter,"Leave her in her innocence"
I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory.
Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?
A Duck walks into a Bar
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No, and if you keep asking, I'll nail your beak to the bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?
They were graduated
Theres Mama Bird, a Baby Bird, and a Brother Bird
One day baby bird comes up to mama bird and asks, "mama, how come my beak is different than brother bird?" Mama bird, caught off gaurd for a second, lets out a sigh and says, "baby bird. Ive been waiting for the right time to tell you this, but I guess this is as good a time any. Baby Bird the truth is...you're adapted."
A penguin brings his car into the shop
The mechanic says he needs an hour to check it out, so the penguin walks to 7-11 and buys an ice cream to kill the time. Since the poor guy's got no hands, he gets the ice cream all over his beak. When he's done he walks back into the shop, and the mechanic tells him "Well, it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says "No, that's just a little ice cream"
Three hawks had a hunting contest
The first one went and came back with blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that tree over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a rabbit near it".
The second one went and came back with even more blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that rock over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a deer near it".
The third one went and came back with blood all over him. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that lamppost over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I didn't."
Penguin
A penguin is driving his car into town when it starts to smoke. He brings it to the local garage and asks the mechanic to look at it.
"I'll be across the street at the drug store." he tells him. He goes to the drugstore and orders a dish of vanilla ice cream which he has to eat with his beak because of his short arms.
He finishes up and goes back to the garage. The mechanic comes out and says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says "That's just a little ice cream."
A penguins car broke down
So he went to the mechanic who said he needed about an hour to check it out. To kill Time the penguin went across the street to get some vanilla ice cream. Since penguins have no hands he made an awful mess getting the ice cream all over his beak. When he returned the mechanic said it looks like you blew a seal To which the penguin replied no it's just ice cream.
A duck walks into a shop got any bread?
Shopkeeper says no .
Duck got any bread?
No
Got any bread?
No
Got any bread?
Shopkeeper: Listen duck, if you ask me once more for bread, I'll nail your beak to the floor .
Duck: Got any nails?
Shopkeeper No .
Duck Got any bread?
A zookeeper loses his Bible while at work...
... A week later when he's feeding the penguins one of them waddles up to him holding his Bible in its beak.
"Praise God, it's a miracle!" says the delighted zookeeper.
"Not really," says the penguin, "Your name is written on the inside cover."
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed.
The Chicken was smoking a cigarette, a satisfied smile on its beak.
The Egg was pouting and looking very frustrated.
Finally, the Egg got up to go to the bathroom. Just before closing the door, it turned around and said to the Chicken:
Well, I guess we settled THAT question once and for all!
My ex and her parrot.
My ex had a talking parrot. This large kind with curved beak and multicolored feathers.
That disgusting creature talked all day and night never shutting its mouth!
And the parrot had to listen to all that c**....
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman
Have you got any bread
Barman: no sorry
duck: have you got any bread
Barman: no
Duck: have you got any bread
Barman: look I haven't got any bread and if you ask again I'm gonna nail your beak to the bar
Duck: got any nails?
Barman: no
Duck: got any bread?
A Penguin walked into a mechanic
Said, "there is an issue with my car." Mechanic said, "give me an hour I'll check it out, why don't you go across the street and get something to eat?"
The penguin walked across the street and ordered a large ice cream. Because of having no hands he just used his flippers. After about an hour the penguin walked back to the mechanic with the ice cream still all over his flippers and beak.
The mechanic said, "it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin said, "No no no! It's just ice cream."
Experiment 1 :
take a white male pigeon, tell it to fly, it flies away
Experiment 2 :
take a white male pigeon, remove its beak, tell it to fly, it flies away
Experiment 3 :
take a white male pigeon, remove its wings, tell it to fly, it doesn't fly away
Conclusion :
After removing their wings, white male pigeons become deaf
I used to feed ducks everyday.
A big group of them, but there was always one that really stood out to me - he always had very rough feathers, always shaking with wide eyes and a chipped beak. Then one day I saw him huddled in a group with a couple other ducks that looked exactly the same, and they all had little packets of white powder in their beaks. Then it clicked:
They were quackheads.
A vulture walked into an airplane,
dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks Wouldn't you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?
And the vulture said No thanks. It's carrion.
A duck walks into a bar
He walks up to the bartender and asks
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
One day a man noticed…
a chicken would come into his house, take a book from the bookshelf in its beak and carry it off into the woods behind his house.
The next day, the chicken came back and got another book, disappeared into the woods. This went on for a few days.
Finally the guy followed the chicken into the woods. Came to a clearing where there was a huge pile of books, with a frog sitting nearby. The man watched as the chicken spat the book onto the ground and said 'Book, book, book'.
The frog said…'Reddit, reddit'.
My son was eating his boiled egg for breakfast, when he said dad, I think this egg is out of date.
I said stop messing about, just eat it.
He said but Dad it's really really out of date.
I said I don't care, just eat the d**... thing!
He said Okay dad, but do I have to eat the beak and feet too?
