Beach Boys Jokes
27 beach boys jokes and hilarious beach boys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about beach boys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Beach Boys Short Jokes
Short beach boys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The beach boys humour may include short backstreet boys jokes also.
- The Beach Boys Walk Into A Bar Bartender: Round
BB: Round?
Bartender: Get a Round
BB: I'll get a Round - Heard a Beach Boys song that sang, We could be married…And then we'd be happy… And I was like Whoa, fellas - you can't have it both ways.
- What did the beach boys play at their reunion show? Wouldn't it be nice if we were younger.
- The Beach Boys found some South African money on the floor. "Rand."
"Rand."
"Get a rand."
"I get a rand." - Trump boy is throwing millions of dollars into the water at the beach. He was adding to his off-shore account.
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Beach Boys One Liners
Which beach boys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with beach boys? I can suggest the ones about beach and flock of seagulls.
- Imagine if people referenced the Beach Boys more often! Wouldn't it be nice?
- What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on? The barber ran
- I can't believe I forgot to bring sunscreen to the beach.... ...boy was my face red.
- What do the beach boys and animal shelters have in common? Pet sounds
Cheerful Fun Beach Boys Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about beach boys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bee gees jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make beach boys pranks.
A Shlep on the Beach
A woman is at the beach with her grandson when a huge wave suddenly washes the boy out to sea. Grief-stricken, she falls on her knees, looks up to the sky and implores: "Oh God, return my grandson to me and I'll give all my money to the synagogue and devote my life to prayer and good works!"
Suddenly, the clouds part, the sky clears and another wave washes the boy back on the beach, completely unharmed. Once again the woman looks up to the heavens and cries out:
"He had a hat!"
Photo Album
A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?
Mother says "Yes, it is"
Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the
muscles and curly hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... went to the beach
The younger of the two said "This s**..., man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"
His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."
So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimwear. They met up again about an hour later and the boy said "Man, that didn't help at all! Now they're just running away from me!"
And the older r**... said "You d**...- you're supposed to put the sock in the FRONT!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Military joke: the enemy is storming the front en masse.
Army general turns to his soldiers, "boys, go get em!"
They all go out running at the enemy and they all die.
Navy Admiral turns to his s**..., "boys, storm those beaches!"
They all rush ashore and every last one of them are killed.
Marine General turn to his men all c**..., "You know what to do. Kill!"
The marines all charge towards the enemy and end up over run and dead.
Air Force General looks at his men, "Fellas, it's time for an attack."
The airmen go into their barracks and wake up the officers to get ready for wheels up in 5.
A well endowed woman was swimming at the beach when she lost her bikini top.
The woman awkwardly covered her chest and ran back towards the shore.
A little boy saw the woman and said, "If you're going to drown those puppies, can I at least keep the one with the cute little pink nose?"
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.
She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back."
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
A woman brings her son to the beach
She fusses over him and tells him to be careful when he goes in the water. Suddenly she sees a wave hit him and the ocean pulls him under. The woman screams and runs to the water. Falling to her knees she begs God, dear lord, please bring my only son back to me. Please lord, he's all I have in my life. Moments later the sun shines down from beyond the clouds and the boy, coughing but alive, steps out of the water. The mother looks up at the sky and yells he had a hat!
A young mother was playing with her son at the beach..
After a few minutes of playing, a huge wave splashes in shore, covering mother and son. When the wave had receded the mother saw that her son was gone, except for his blue baseball cap.
The mother dropped to her knees, stretched her arms to the sky screaming: I'll do anything!! Just bring me back my boy!!
A few seconds later a second huge wave slammed on shore. When it receded back to the ocean, the son was sitting happily playing in the sand.
The mother looks at the boy, but then puts her hands on her hips and looked at the sky. HE HAD A HAT!!!
a jewish lady and her boy were at the beach...
the boy is swimming in the sea, quite a way out. the mother looks on from the shore. after a while its clear the boy is in trouble. he's struggling to keep his his head above and he goes under.
his mother cannot swim at all so with no other option she drops to her knees and prays to God.
"GOD, Hear me! please help my boy! help my little bubala!"
sure enough the boy raises from the sea, levitating in the air he begins to float to the shore. it is clearly an act of god. the invisible force delivers him right into his mothers arms where he spits up sea water and takes a deep gasp of air...
his mother looks up at the sky and shouts to God:
"Excuse me!! I believe he was wearing a hat, hmm?"
A mother and her two year old son are at the beach
They are walking along the water's edge when a huge wave hits them and washes the little boy out to sea. No one else is around, and she can't swim.
She drops down on her knees, looks up to the heavens, and starts to pray.
"God, please give my son back to me. He's all I have. I'll never ask you for anything else if I get him back."
Another big wave comes along and deposits the little boy on the beach right beside her. She grabs him and holds him tight.
She looks up again.
"He had a hat!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Beer-Bottle Genie
A young man is walking along the beach, when he spies a beer bottle in the sand. Picking it up, he brushes it off to see what brand it is, when a genie popped out. In a thundering voice, it proclaimed, "I am the beer bottle genie! For freeing me, I will grant you any three wishes, BUT the condition is, every lawyer in the world will get TWO of that!"
So the kid thought, and decided, "I want a briefcase filled with a million dollars!"
p**...! A briefcase instantly appeared in front if him. Meanwhile, two brief cases with a million dollars each appeared in front of every lawyer in the world.
"And for my next wish," he added, "I would like a red Porsche."
p**...! One appeared in front of him on the sand. And two Porsches appeared in the garages of every lawyer in the world.
"All right," said the genie, " for your last wish think really hard. Okay, time's up! What do you want?"
"Well," said the boy, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a fellow is walking along the beach...
...and he finds a lamp. "Oh boy," thinks he, and rubs the lamp. Out pops a very angry looking genie. "I am the divorce genie! You get three wishes, but for whatever you wish, I will grant your ex-wife double!"
The fellow thinks a bit. First, he wishes for a billion dollars. Second, he wishes for an island villa. Duly, the genie grants his wishes, but informs him snarkily that his ex-wife has received double, and inquires as to his third wish.
"Genie," he intones with a smirk, "I wish that you would beat me half to death."
Bing Crosby
A long time ago, back in the autumn of 1952, when Bing Crosby was
filming the movie "White Christmas" in New Hampshire, the Mayor of
Nashua, NH thought it would be a great idea to have Bing visit their
fair town & present him with the key to the city on the steps of City
Hall. You know, a nice little photo op for the mayor's re-election &
a
way for some of the town's dignitaries to meet the Great Bing Crosby.
Now one as to remember, Bing Crosby at this time was at the peak of his singing career. He was bigger than Elvis, the Beatles, Sinatra, Lady GaGa & the Beach Boys all put together. He crossed generational lines, admired by young & old as one of the "coolest cats" in the music world.
Well, word leaked out that Bing would be in town so hundreds of
teenagers skipped school to attend the little ceremony. The
authorities were not prepared for such a large crowd, there were only a few policemen present, and things soon got out of hand. Pushing &
shoving began as the teenagers all wanted to get closer to see their hero. It soon looked like the Mayor was going to a have a riot on his hands and he was growing more frantic by the minute. All he wanted was a nice little ceremony with Bing and now he had a full fledged uprising threatening to ruin everything.
Throughout all this Bing was seated in his chair, calmly observing
what was happening. When the crowd started to push through the barricades that were set up, he had had enough. Bing got up, strolled to the microphone & said in a commanding voice, "All right, everyone cool down right now"! The rioting crowd immediately calmed down and the Mayor's little ceremony went on without a hitch & everyone went home happy.
The next day's newspaper headline read: CROSBY STILLS NASHUA YOUNG!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Father Knows Best!
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."