bay Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bay puns

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

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A tip for Snowden.

Apparently he is traveling all of the world but if you never want to appear in front of an American judge there is only one place to go...



Guantanomo bay

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What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

My zipper

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!

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Breaking News: NFL responds to lost revenue from kneeling controversy

Breaking News: The NFL announced today that because of lost revenue due to kneeling, an NFL Team had to be cut. Tampa Bay and the Green Bay Packers will be combining forming the Tampacks. They will be good for only one period and will have no second string...

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Three apprentice vampire bats

Three apprentice vampire bats are taken out to a farm and told to get as much blood as they can find by their teacher. 15 minutes go by and the first vampire bay returns with a little bit of blood on his teeth.
'Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? That's where I got it.' the bat replied.

Shortly after the second vampire bat returns with blood dripping from his snout.
Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? That's where I got it.' the second bat replied.

Some time later the third bat returns with his whole face caked in blood.
Where did you get that blood!' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? Do you see that wall beyond the cow? I didn't.'

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More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

They will be known as the TAMPACKS.

Unfortunately, they're only good for one period and have no second string.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea?

If they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.

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What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

Haram Bay

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Oh, jokes from 7 year-olds are cool now? From my son last night: "Why do sea gulls fly over the sea?"

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls ("like bagels, get it Dad?").

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"tastes like shrimp"

So my first summer job was at the local funeral home. The first body I had to prepare for a service was a middle aged woman who had been found floating in the bay. Her body was severely bloated from being in the water as long as she was. Upon further inspection I had found a large shrimp halfway lodged in her vagina. I notified the funeral director about the odd discovery. He informed me that it was not a jumbo shrimp but instead it was her clitoris, and it had been swollen due to the drowning just like the rest of her body. I contested the fact that it was indeed a large crustacean. He quickly became irritated as to why I would continue to argue this fact. I was fired immediately after I replied

"Well it tasted like shrimp"

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I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay today...

**I thought to myself, 'I wonder what his handicap is?'**

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If a seagull flys over the sea, then what flys over the bay?

A bagel!
(Came up with this Louis CK style slapstick literature at 5 years old, give me bronze)

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How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

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Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if they lived by the bay, they would be called baygulls.

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The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

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What do you call a seagull that flies by the bay?

a bagel

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A guy scores a ticket for a Green Bay Packers home game....

Finds his seat about 20 rows up on the 50 yard line behind the Packers bench. As the stadium begins to fill up a nice looking middle aged woman comes and sits in a seat just in front of him. The game starts and he can't help but notice that the seat beside this woman remains vacant. At half time the seat is still vacant so he asks the woman about it. She tells him: "My husband and I have had season tickets for these seats for many years. my husband has recently passed away and I don't see any sense in letting them both be vacant." The man replies: "Well, couldn't you find a friend or family member to use the other ticket?" And she says: "Well, no. They're all at the funeral."

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BBC

A guy decides to do something nice for his girlfriend before they leave on vacation so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. He comes home and shows it to her. She looks at it and says, "That's great, sweetie, but what is 'Wy'?" He tells her to rub it and as she does she sees it actually reads "Wendy." When they arrive at Montego Bay, the couple are walking along a nude beach and the boyfriend notices a black guy with "Wy" on his penis. He asks the man if he also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy laughs and says, "Nah, mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day."

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What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

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Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay...

Sounds great to anyone who doesn't know what either of them are.

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Why don't seagulls live by the bay?

Because, they would be bagels.

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Do you know what they feed you at Guantanamo Bay?

Well after being there for 30 years, neither do I!

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When Transformers was filmed in Detroit

Michael Bay had to use CGI to repair buildings

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What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?

They both love Clinton-Dix.

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What's the most expensive thing at Guantanamo Bay?

The water bill.

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How Black Tooth McPhee Lost His Eye

It was a typical evening at the pub by the bay when a young man walks in and spots old Black Tooth McPhee sitting in a corner.

The yound man walks up to the old pirate and gives him a rowdy hi ho and says, "Ah McPhee, you're not looking so good since the last time I saw ye. What happened to ye Mate?"

McPhee, replies in a raspy voice, "Ye see Lad, I lost me leg when I fell overboard and a shark took it off below the knee. And I lost me hand in a card game that went wrong."

Says the young fella, "But yer eye, McPhee?"

The old pirate explained, "Arghh, I lost it when a bird shit in it."

Replies the young fella, "But how can that be?"

"Well, it was the first day I had the hook ye see," he says, smiling with his black tooth a showing.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls.

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If a seagull lives by the sea...

If a seagull lives by the sea, what do you call a bird that lives by the bay?

A Bay Gull

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What does Michael Bay use to tell a story?

Explosition.

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Buccaneers Anthrax Scare

Tampa Bay, Florida, Sept. 26, 2014.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player found a mysterious white powdery substance on the practice field.

Coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice and called in local authorities.

Forensic scientists determined the powdery substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed after it was determined the players were unlikely to encounter it again any time soon.

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What do you call a high security U.S. prison in China?

Wonton-amo Bay

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be baygulls

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If you scream three times...

At night, if you lock yourself in a bathroom with lights off and scream Allahu Ackbar three times the CIA will come through your mirror and take you to Guantanamo Bay.

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What are the most funny Bay jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bay? Well, here are the best Bay dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bay pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes