Battery Day Jokes
26 battery day jokes and hilarious battery day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about battery day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Battery Day Short Jokes
Short battery day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The battery day humour may include short laughter day jokes also.
- Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery. Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone
- I was sitting in the courtroom the other day and my phone started to die. Luckily I brought my mobile power bank. Anyways, I was charged with battery.
- Imagine if your cell phone battery was on ten percent and it lasted for eight days.. Congratulations. You understand Hanukkah.
- Police found a couple kids the other day, one eating fireworks and the other eating batteries. They let one off but charged the other.
- E-bike vs Cop I was riding my electric bike the other day, minding my own business.
Cop pulls me over, says he's taking me in.
"Charge?" I asked.
"Battery!" he said. - 2 Boys Arrested at independence day Parade One boy was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.
They charged one and let the other one off. - I got arrested the other day for throwing a battery at my wife and hitting her favorite salt shaker instead They charged me for a salt and battery.
- The hardware store was having a sale on batteries the other day. If you bought a battery charger, they'd give you a battery, free of charge!
- What type of batteries to racists use? Triple K.
I've had this one on my mind all day, it's probably and old one but to me it's new. - My new Tesla had a dead battery so I called AAA. Turns out the don't service Teslas. So I called AA... They don't have on site road assistance but I'm 30 days sober now.
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Battery Day One Liners
Which battery day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with battery day? I can suggest the ones about workers day and birth day.
- Yesterday was my first day at the battery factory. I am drained.
Battery Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about battery day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boss day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make battery day pranks.
I got jumped by three black men downtown the other day...
They were quite polite the whole time they were jumping me. Even gave me directions to the nearest auto parts store so I could get a new car battery.
Unnecessary Arrests
The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.
Busted!
A couple days ago a couple kids in high school were busted behind their school. One was eating firecrackers and the other was drinking battery acid.
They were taken to court by the police. The judge thought long and hard what their punishment should be, but just ended up charging the one, and he let the other one off.
A man had been feeling ill, so he went to his doctor.
The doctor ran a battery of tests, then came back into the examination room. "Sir, I'm sorry," he said, "but we've discovered you have a terminal illness."
"Oh God!" the man said. "How long do I have?!"
"Ten -- " the doctor said.
"Ten what?!" the man interrupted. "Years?! Months?! Weeks?! Days?!"
"Nine, eight, seven..."
What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?
So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.
1st of Jan. is the only time of the year when iPhone users can say that the battery lasted more than a day.
It lasted a year.
Batteries
I hate buying batteries, I'll end up buying AA Batteries and puts them away, four days later, I tries to find the AA batteries but can only find AAA Batteries
My battery was dead...
So I tried to fix it by attaching it to two jumper cables near a power source.
No luck so far.
I missed many calls that day.
Just another day in math class
Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction
Student - 1/10th
Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean?
Student - low battery plug in your phone
A college girl was found dead in her bathtub...
She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a f**... of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.
This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts in the tub. The salt made the bath water into a stronger conductor of electricity, so when she got in, she was electrocuted and died.
When the authorities found her body, they deduced that the cause of death was a salt and battery.
A child psychologist had twin boys
one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist's room with toys and games. In the optimist's room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.
That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying.
What's wrong? the father asked.
I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken! sobbed the pessimist.
Passing the optimist's room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. Why are you so happy? he asked.
The optimist shouted, There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!
Fixer-Upper
A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"
He says, "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"
Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"
He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says.
"Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband.
"What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
What do i look like?
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"
He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"
Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard.
The wife finds a leak in the roof.
She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"
He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed.
So is the plumbing. So is the car.
He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls.
Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband.
"What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
