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Battered Wife Jokes

7 battered wife jokes and hilarious battered wife puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about battered wife that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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What is a good battered wife joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A very life-battered looking hobo asks for some change from a guy coming from a bar

The guy asks "Are you going to use it for booze then?"
"No I will not, sir" says the hobo.
"Well will you gamble it then?" Asks the man.
"No I will not, sir"
"Well then you must come and show my wife what it does to a man if he doesn't drink or gamble!"

why did the wife of the fish and chips fetishist file for divorce?

she was sick of being a battered woman

My son was mixing the pancake batter with a whisk in both hands while he was helping my wife make Father's Day breakfast.

I gasped and said, honey, do you really think you should be letting him do that? That looks two whisk-y!

After the fourth batter was hit in game seven

My wife turns to me and says, they're not very good dodgers.

So there I was at my favorite seafood restaurant having dinner, and I told David, my favorite waiter, that TONIGHT I wanted my fish exactly how I like my wife...

..."Battered it is, sir."

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Did you hear about the abusive cannibal you was battering his wife?

That's the joke.


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