Batter Jokes
90 batter jokes and hilarious batter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about batter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Batter Short Jokes
Short batter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The batter humour may include short hitter jokes also.
- A woman was being perused by two men. One was a baker and one was a poet,
She had to make up her mind for batter or verse. - I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes
- For my first cake day I was just going to do a repost of someone else's cake joke. But then I thought....
Nah, I could do batter. - Hundreds of women are battered in the US every day And all this time I've just been eating them raw...
- why did the wife of the fish and chips fetishist file for divorce? she was sick of being a battered woman
- My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning Seems he was their favorite rabbit
- I'm never buying a fish fryer from Linkin Park ever again. I fried so hard, and got sole far, but in the end it doesn't even batter!
- For my sixth cake day I was going to just repost someone elses cake day joke. But then I thought to myself...
Nah, I'm batter than that! - What's the first thing a woman should do after returning home from the battered women's shelter? The dishes if she knows what's good for her.
- There are over 100,000 battered women in America And all this time I've been eating them raw.
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Batter One Liners
Which batter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with batter? I can suggest the ones about bats and beater.
- What does Rihanna and onion Rings have in common? They're both battered.
- KFC is a shelter for battered chickens
- There was a fight in a fish and chip shop! Two fish got battered ;).
- Sorry I let all of you down on my Cake Day... I couldn't think of a batter joke to post..
- Have you ever heard of Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women.
- Where do cannibals go to eat deep fried food? The battered women's shelter
- 50,000 battered women a year... And I still eat mine plain!
- What did the pancake say to the baseball player? Batter up!
- What do all battered women have in common? They don't listen.
- What do you call a goat that works at a bakery? A battering ram
- I thought I missed my cake day batter late than never!
- What do you call a battered men's shelter? Jail.
- Battered Women Not as delicious as it sounds
- What do you call a computer weapon? A battering *RAM*
- A fight broke out at the seafood restaurant last night Battered fish everywhere.
Ridiculous Batter Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about batter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pitcher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make batter pranks.
When is Baseball a s**... sport?
When the batter drives it deep
Battery
An old woman mistook me for an employee at the supermarket.
She asked, "how much does just one AA battery cost?"
I had one in my pocket, but it was dead. I handed it over and said, "Here, no charge."
Saw an ad for a used battery in the paper today:
"Slightly rusty, in need of repair but has potential"
So the batteries in my flashlight ran out...
You'd think I'd be sad, but really I was delighted.
Why was the battery arrested ?
cuz it was charged with electricity .
Joke from the rabbi of one of the synagogues I went to.
A professional baseball player was very religious. So religious, in fact, that every time he stepped up to the plate he would cross himself.
During a particular game, he was facing a particularly impatient pitcher. The batter stepped out to cross himself, and the pitcher yelled out, "Hey! Why don't you just let God watch the game for once!?"
Would you like my batteries?
They're free of charge.
What's the best name for a battery?
AAron
How much for these old batteries?
For you? No charge.
A battery is like a loner
They're both not included in anything
What batteries do turtles use?
Durashells
These batteries were dealing with an alkaline problem, I had to take them to
AA meetings.
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy, s**...-s**... bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.
*-Hannibal Lecter*
I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector.
It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to.
What does a battery have that a women hasn't?
A positive side....
Baseball baking
What's the difference between a baseball cupcake and a baseball muffin...
The batter
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today
The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
How much do used batteries cost?
Nothing, they are free of charge.
What do baseball teams and muffins have in common?
They both rely on a good *batter*
I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm
The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm...
...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
Batteries have a tough life.
They're either working or dead.
I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector.
All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.
Why aren't there any B batteries?
Because people might think you have a stutter.
What's do 9v batteries and buttholes have in common?
You aren't supposed to lick them, but you do anyway.
I know how batteries feel...
I'm rarely included in things either.
(Shamelessly stolen)
Why are there no "B" batteries?
You would never be able to ask for them without sounding like you have a stutter.
"B-Batteries please"
The batteries in my flashlight died
I was delighted
I know how batteries feel
because I'm often not included.
I'm fed up with all these pancake day puns...
The next time I hear someone say one, I'll batter them.
It's okay batteries
No one includes me either.
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.
Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
I took the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.
It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.
I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector
The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.
I now know how batteries feel...
Because I'm rarely included in anything.
A battery and a light bulb were in a race. Who won?
None of them:
The light bulb was blown away from the short circuit and the battery gave up because it couldn't resist it either.
After the fourth batter was hit in game seven
My wife turns to me and says, they're not very good dodgers.
Consistency is important when dieting
You don't want lumps in your cake batter.
what batteries does dora the explorer use?
doracell.
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm today
The loud beeping was giving me a headache.
Battery life on a phone is like age
The closer it is to 100 the more likely you are to curl up in bed
Chocolate chip...
How many men does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?... 3!
One to make the batter, two to squeeze the rabbit.
Happy Easter everyone
How does a battery get it's charge?
By invoice.
A battery walks into a bar.
"What'll it be?" the bartender asks.
"Just water," the battery replies. "I'm AA."
How does the overlook hotel batter it's chicken?
With bREaD cRUMs.
Modern food, I just don't get it.
I mean, Japanese-style batter and deep fry, I've no quarrel with that. But then they start applying this to these giant salt-water eels...
*O tempura! O morays!*
Whenever I make chocolate chip or blueberry muffins, I make sure one muffin is just batter.
I like to play Muffin Roulette.
Do you want some cornstarch and water?
Because I want to treat you batter.
Over the holidays, I'm participating in a pro-life bake sale
We'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes
Battery salesmen are the best.
They always have the most energy.
What did the little battery yell when it stepped on a lego?
AAA
A man buys a mixer
A man bought a kitchen mixer on sale from the thrift shop, every time he used it, the batter would splatter, but it was too late by the time he realized it did nothing but stir up trouble...
My son was mixing the pancake batter with a whisk in both hands while he was helping my wife make Father's Day breakfast.
I gasped and said, honey, do you really think you should be letting him do that? That looks two whisk-y!
What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.
My girlfriend asked me to help indulge her f**... of covering herself in cake flour, butter, and eggs.
I had to say no. My mother taught me it's wrong to batter women.
Batteries
This year I'm getting my kids a set of batteries for christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I need a battery
I walked into Battery World and asked for a specific battery.
The guy said Is it for a clock?
I said I don't know, that's why I need a battery!!
Why didn't the AA batteries work on my flesh light?
Because my flesh light only takes a D.
Why did the 9V battery get kicked out of church?
Because they were holding an AA Meeting
What happens when a battery commits a crime?
They get charged
Wondering how to pass time until your own cake day joke?
Just bake it till you make it!
Okay, I stole that pun, but I really couldn't have done it batter myself.
That batter pun was terrible, I'll beat it now.
Sorry, I know I'm on thin icing here, but this left me in tiers.
Anyway, I've got a lot on my plate today, I'm going to piece out.
Why did the battery die?
Terminal illness.
What did the Battery say on his Blind Date?
I have a lot of energy and I am a pretty positive guy. But I do have a negative side.
o**... it's cake day, quick, repost a cake joke!
Nah, i'm batter than that
I took the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide tester
Because the loud beeping was making me dizzy and feeling nauseous!
Scotsman at a Yankees game
So a Scotsman goes on vacation to NYC, and decides to take in a Yankees home game, as he didn't understand baseball and wanted to learn more.
So he settles into his seat and the game starts. In the top of the second inning, he sees the pitcher walk the batter.
The Scotsman, not understanding, stands up, shouting "RUN, MAN! RUN!!"
The man sitting in front of him turns around and says, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four b**...."
The Scotsman thinks about this for a moment, and then shouts "WALK WITH PRIDE, MAN! WALK WITH PRIDE!"