Baton Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A man approaches a stop sign...

.. and as he usually does, he slows down a good bit, then continues rolling through the stop sign, without stopping completely.

An officer sees the man roll through the stop sign and pulls him over. The cop, in typical fashion, asks him, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" as the man gets out of the car.

"Officer, there's a stop sign there, and I know I didn't stop but I slowed down!"

The officer, without hesitation, pulls out his baton and starts beating the man mercilessly, and says, "Do you want me to stop or slow down?"

An old man was pulled over

An old man was pulled over for failing to stop at a stop sign. When questioned the man replied "I slowed down, same difference!". The officer then took out his baton and started striking the man and he asked the man "would you like me to slow down or stop?"

Why couldn't Bach afford a new baton?

Because he was Baroque

Stop Sign

A man gets pulled over by a police officer for running a stop sign. The officer says "you didn't stop at that stop sign." The man replies "oh come on, I slowed down to almost a stop." The officer looks at the man and says "please step out of the vehicle sir." The man obliges, and at this point the police officer starts to beat him with a baton and says "now do you want me to stop, or do you want me to slow down?"

A man runs through a stop sign and gets pulled over by a cop

"You are supposed to stop at a stop sign" the cop says.

"But I slowed down." The driver says
"that's the same thing."

The officer then drags the guy into the road and beats him with his baton

"Now do you want me to stop or slow down?!"

A lawyer and a cop

A lawyer ran a stop sign and was immediately pulled over by a cop. The lawyer started shouting, "I slowed down! No one was coming! What's the difference?"

The cop asked him to step out of his car. As soon as the lawyer was out, the cop pulled out his baton and starting beating the guy. Quickly, left, right, upside the head, everywhere.

After a few minutes, the officer stops, looks at the lawyer and says, "Now....do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"

What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand?

Ones used for cunning stunts.

Guy gets pulled over for not stopping at a stop sign

The guy yells at the cop and says "I know I didn't stop, I slowed down, what's the difference?!"

Cop starts beating the driver with his baton and after a few minutes asks the driver "Do you want me to stop or slow down?"

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

Lots of people don't like my clown baton

But I think it's ma jest stick.

What do you call a well dressed police officer who is beating you up?

Louis Baton

I bought my wife some lashes made of bread.

She didn't baton eyelid.

What are the funniest baton jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Baton? Well, here are the best Baton puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Baton pick up lines to share with friends.

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