The Best 74 Batman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Batman jokes. There are some batman robin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these batman ben affleck batman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Batman Jokes and Puns

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.


He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.

Batman joke, My friend said to me,  Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?  I said,  Go on, then.

What's batmans favourite fruit?

Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.

What's it called when Batman ditches church?

Christian bail.


What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

A drunk stumbles out of the bar at 7am....

As he walks home, he sees a nun walking towards him. He stares her down the entire time as they get closer and closer. Right as they are about to pass, he punches her right in the face, knocking her out cold, then stands over her body and yells, "Not so tough today, are ya, Batman?".

Batman joke, A drunk stumbles out of the bar at 7am....

A man goes in for a job application...

...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"

What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon!

My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.

R.I.P. Dad

My boss told me to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

You can explore batman arkham reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean batman spidey dad jokes. There are also batman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight rises.

Auto-correct walks into a bar...

And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'

Dodged the bullet

A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman.

What does Batman put in his tea?

Just ice.

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice

Batman joke, What does Batman put in his drinks?

"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."

"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."

What do you call batman when he skips church?

Christian Bale

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?

He had to go to the Bat Room.

[an old classic]


Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

followed by Batman.

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

A democratic senator from Kentucky.

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

Add a word to ruin a movie:

- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

What's the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go inside a store without Robin

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey...

When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..."

It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.

I always wanted to be Batman when I grew up

Not for the gadgets or the money. I just hate my parents.

What do you call Batman running out of a church?

Christian Bale

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?

Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.

Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?

Number 7: 49

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed:

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.

I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage

Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

Whats the difference between Batman and a Blackman

Batman can walk into a gas station without robin

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early?

Christian Bail

Batman told me he was skipping church this week.

Classic Christian Bale

Batman walks into a bar and the barman asks "what can I get you ?"

Just ice...

Robin says to Batman:

- Batman, batremote to battv doesn't work!
- Did you check batteries?
- What are teries?

Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery

Robin: What's a tery

Robin was having problems starting the Batmobile

And then he went to Batman "The Batmobile won't start!"

"Have you checked the battery?"

"What's an Ery?"

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

What's the toughest part about being Batman?

Knowing that you'll never make your parents proud.

People often use fiction to escape into the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems as them.

For instance, whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

What do you call it when Batman decides not to go to church?

Christian Bale

What did they call Batman when he was little?

Lil Wayne

Batman Impression

Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."

"Go on then" the second one says.

"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"

The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"

"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says

"No swimming without supervision."

COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman

Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.

Why does Batman leave his lower face visible?

So cops can see that he's white

Person 1:Do you want to hear my Batman impression ?

Person 2: Sure!

Person 1: AARGH NO! Not the Kryptonite!

Person 2: That's Super Man!

Person 1: Thanks, I've been practicing it

Robin: Where are you, Batman?

Batman: on my way, was in the bathroom

Robin: what's a hroom?

Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

Because his parents died

Dad to his son: Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!

Son: Go on, then.

Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!

Son: Dad, that's Superman!

Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.

A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street

He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.



Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"

Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."

Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

Do you want to hear my Batman impression?

- Sure
- "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
- That's superman
- Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot

Robin tells Batman "I can't get the batmobile started"

Batman: check the battery

Robin: what's a tery?

'Wanna hear my Batman impression?"

'Sure.'

'Oh no! Kryptonite!'

'That's Superman.'

'Thanks man. I've been practicing.'

How do you know Robin’s really a Jewish girl?

She had a bat-mitzvah.

Batjoke

Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."

Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.

Robin said to Batman...

"Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"

"Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"

"Then why do I wear bright colors?"

"It also makes me less likely to be shot."

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN!

How did Batman defeat Mr Freeze?

He In-salted Him.

I sent my wife a text.

"Just bought some meat from a supermarket in the city where Batman lives."

She said, "...Gotham?"

I said, "No, only beef and chicken."

Why did the anti-vaxer refuse to go out with Batman?

She was against masked-man dates.

I went to the local video shop and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever

They said "no, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow".

What do you get when a herd of elephants tramples Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

What does the Batman do after he shampoos?

The Dark Knight Rinses

Wife: "Who's the new Batman?" | Me: "Robert Pattinson"

Wife: "So vampires do turn into bats."


(I have no idea if she heard this elsewhere, but I def laughed at breakfast.)

what did batman get when he's at the store?

He GotHam

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the batman batman robin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working batman batman superman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes