The Best 73 Batman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Batman jokes. There are some batman robin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these batman comics puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Batman Jokes and Puns

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.


He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.

Batman joke, My friend said to me,  Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?  I said,  Go on, then.

Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?

cause Swallow was too obvious.

What's batmans favourite fruit?

Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.


What's it called when Batman ditches church?

Christian bail.

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

Batman joke, What does Batman put in his beverages?

A drunk stumbles out of the bar at 7am....

As he walks home, he sees a nun walking towards him. He stares her down the entire time as they get closer and closer. Right as they are about to pass, he punches her right in the face, knocking her out cold, then stands over her body and yells, "Not so tough today, are ya, Batman?".

A man goes in for a job application...

...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"

What did Batman bring to the party?

Just ice

What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon!

My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.

R.I.P. Dad

You can explore batman arkham reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean batman spidey dad jokes. There are also batman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'd like to see Batman and Robin fight crime in places that need it the most.

"Hey Batman!"
"Yeah, Robin?"
"Didn't we park the Batmobile here?"

My boss told me to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight rises.

Auto-correct walks into a bar...

And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'

Batman joke, Auto-correct walks into a bar...

Dodged the bullet

A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman.

What does Batman put in his tea?

Just ice.

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice


"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."

"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."

What do you call batman when he skips church?

Christian Bale

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?

He had to go to the Bat Room.

[an old classic]

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

followed by Batman.

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

A democratic senator from Kentucky.

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

Add a word to ruin a movie:

- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

What's the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go inside a store without Robin

Riddle me this, Batman. What do you find in an alley that has holes in it?

"M-my parents?"

"No! A bowling ball! I'm so sorry..."

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

How do the ladies get Batman to come?

Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

What does Batman take with his alcohol?

Just ice

This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey...

When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..."

It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.

I always wanted to be Batman when I grew up

Not for the gadgets or the money. I just hate my parents.

What do you call Batman running out of a church?

Christian Bale

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?

Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.

Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?

Number 7: 49

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed:

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.

I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage

Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

Whats the difference between Batman and a Blackman

Batman can walk into a gas station without robin

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early?

Christian Bail

Batman told me he was skipping church this week.

Classic Christian Bale

Batman walks into a bar and the barman asks "what can I get you ?"

Just ice...

Robin says to Batman:

- Batman, batremote to battv doesn't work!
- Did you check batteries?
- What are teries?

Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery

Robin: What's a tery

Robin was having problems starting the Batmobile

And then he went to Batman "The Batmobile won't start!"

"Have you checked the battery?"

"What's an Ery?"

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

What's the toughest part about being Batman?

Knowing that you'll never make your parents proud.

People often use fiction to escape into the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems as them.

For instance, whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

What do you call it when Batman decides not to go to church?

Christian Bale

What did they call Batman when he was little?

Lil Wayne

Batman Impression

Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."

"Go on then" the second one says.

"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"

The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"

"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says

"No swimming without supervision."

COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman

Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.

Why does Batman only wear dark colours? Easy. Because Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colours?

Easy.

Because Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Batman leave his lower face visible?

So cops can see that he's white

Person 1:Do you want to hear my Batman impression ?

Person 2: Sure!

Person 1: AARGH NO! Not the Kryptonite!

Person 2: That's Super Man!

Person 1: Thanks, I've been practicing it

Robin: Where are you, Batman?

Batman: on my way, was in the bathroom

Robin: what's a hroom?

Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

Because his parents died

Dad to his son: Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!

Son: Go on, then.

Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!

Son: Dad, that's Superman!

Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.

A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street

He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.



Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"

Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."

Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments

Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.

Do you want to hear my Batman impression?

- Sure
- "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
- That's superman
- Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot

If a Ghost Rider should be called Daredevil, and Daredevil should be called Batman, what should Batman be called?

Inspector Gadget

Batman: "It's been a long day."

Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."

Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

Batman and Robin get ready for patrol

Batman: You ready Robin?

Robin: I'm not sure about this costume Batman. It's so bright and red. And why do I have to wear a silly yellow cape?

Batman: Well, we're superheroes Robin. We got to dress the part.

Robin: I'm still not sure about this Batman. I mean, you aren't dressed in any bright colors at all!

Batman: Well, if I did that then they'll be shooting at me and not you now wouldn't they? And didn't I train you to be the greatest acrobat in the world? So why all the worrying? The other ones never complained about this, they loved being heroes, god rest their souls.

Some girl

Some girl asked me if she was wearing too much make up.

I told her it depends on if she was trying to kill batman.

Robin tells Batman "I can't get the batmobile started"

Batman: check the battery

Robin: what's a tery?

'Wanna hear my Batman impression?"

'Sure.'

'Oh no! Kryptonite!'

'That's Superman.'

'Thanks man. I've been practicing.'

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the batman joker jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working batman luthor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes