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Batman Jokes

145 batman jokes and hilarious batman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about batman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Batman jokes. From the Dark Knight to the Caped Crusader, we've got all your favorites covered.

Funniest Batman Short Jokes

Short batman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The batman humour may include short superman jokes also.

  1. When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.
  2. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
    Batman doesn't want to get shot.
  3. Wife: "Who's the new Batman?" | Me: "Robert Pattinson" Wife: "So vampire do turn into bats."
    (I have no idea if she heard this elsewhere, but I def laughed at breakfast.)
  4. My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN
  5. Robin said to Batman... "Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"
    "Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"
    "Then why do I wear bright colors?"
    "It also makes me less likely to be shot."
  6. Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub." Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
  7. One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..." It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.
  8. COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
  9. I always wanted to be Batman when I grew up Not for the gadgets or the money. I just hate my parents.
  10. Robin tells Batman "I can't get the batmobile started" Batman: check the battery
    Robin: what's a tery?

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Batman One Liners

Which batman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with batman? I can suggest the ones about dark knight and iron man.

  1. Batman: *buys catwoman a drink* Catwoman: *slowly knocks it off of the table*
  2. 12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.
  3. Why does Batman leave his lower face visible? So cops can see that he's white
  4. What do you call batman when he skips church? Christian Bale
  5. Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery Robin: What's a tery
  6. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.
  7. What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.
  8. Why did the anti-vaxer refuse to go out with Batman? She was against masked-man dates.
  9. Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the bat Room.
    [an old classic]
  10. What's batmans favourite fruit? Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.
  11. What does Batman put in his drinks? Just ice
  12. What do Putin, Batman and Will Smith have in common? They all attacked a comedian
  13. Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'
  14. What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.
  15. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Batman Robin Jokes

Here is a list of funny batman robin jokes and even better batman robin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin
  • Robin turned and shouted, "The Batmobile won't start!" Batman growled, "Check the battery!" Puzzled, Robin wondered... "What's a tery?"
  • Robin was having problems starting the Batmobile And then he went to Batman "The Batmobile won't start!"
    "Have you checked the battery?"
    "What's an Ery?"
  • What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller? Flatman and Ribbon!
    My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.
    R.I.P. Dad
  • Robin: Where are you, Batman? Batman: on my way, was in the bathroom
    Robin: what's a hroom?
  • Robin says to Batman: - Batman, batremote to battv doesn't work!
    - Did you check batteries?
    - What are teries?
  • How do you know Robin’s really a Jewish girl? She had a bat-mitzvah.
  • Why does Batman only wear dark colours? Easy. Because Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colours? Easy.
    Because Batman doesn't want to get shot.
  • I'd like to see Batman and Robin fight crime in places that need it the most. "Hey Batman!"
    "Yeah, Robin?"
    "Didn't we park the Batmobile here?"
  • Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

Batman And Robin Jokes

Here is a list of funny batman and robin jokes and even better batman and robin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What would batman do if he wasn't rich? He would be robin.
  • What's in common between Batman and a black guy? They can't go into a store without Robin
  • Batman giving his Batmobile to robin Batman: Robin, im giving you my Batmobile.
    Robin: aww really batman? thanks!
    Batman: yes, its 555-522-8626
  • Batman wears dark colour clothes at night so that Batman doesn't get shot. Robin wears light colour clothes at night so that Batman doesn't get shot.
  • Batman and robin came out 20 years ago today But we always sort of suspected.
  • Why does Batman wear dark colors? Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.
    Why does Robin wear bright colours?
    Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.
  • What do you call Batman and Robin after they got run over by a steamroller? Flatman and Ribbon
  • Batman and Robin were on the car... "The car isn't working", says Robin.
    "Check the battery", says Batman.
    "What's an tery, Batman?"
  • What do you get when a herd of elephants tramples Batman and Robin? Flatman and Ribbon.
  • Batman does not like stealing or cheating. I bet he also doesn't like Robin.
Batman joke, Batman does not like stealing or cheating.

Batman And Superman Jokes

Here is a list of funny batman and superman jokes and even better batman and superman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
  • 'Wanna hear my Batman impression?" 'Sure.'
    'Oh no! Kryptonite!'
    'That's Superman.'
    'Thanks man. I've been practicing.'
  • Do you want to hear my Batman impression? - Sure
    - "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
    - That's superman
    - Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot
  • Why is Batman jealous of Superman? Superman got adopted.
  • Who's the better businessman: Superman or Batman? It's Superman of course, or have you ever heard about a batmarket?
  • If Batman and Superman had a baby, what would it be? Adopted
  • Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
  • Why is Batman so jealous of Superman? Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2
  • Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive" Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown"
  • Batman impressionist Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"
    "Go on then"
    "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
    "That's Superman"
    "Thanks, I've been practicing."

Superman Batman Jokes

Here is a list of funny superman batman jokes and even better superman batman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Batman has the Batcave. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude. What is Wonder Woman's base called? The Kitchen.
  • What did the Irishman say about Batman and Superman's fathers? They were both Martha Fockers
  • I hear there's a pre-credit stinger in Batman v. Superman But it's not worth sticking around for.
  • What is it called when Batman and Superman challenge each other to a race? A Marthaon
  • Joe is getting ready his Batman impression... So he decides to show his friend Bob. "Hey Bob, wanna see a Batman impression?"
    "Okay."
    "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
    "That's Superman."
    "Thanks Bob!"
  • Ben Affleck being Batman won't ruin Batman v. Superman. (It'll be Zack Synder's fault.)
  • After watching superman vs batman trailer, my expectation during exam time. Professor : Tell me...do you read ?
    Me : No
    Professor : You will
  • Batman impersonation Me: Do you want to here my impersonation?
    Friend: sure
    Me: AHHH please no more kryptonite please!
    Friend: That superman.
    Me: Thanks I have been practicing.
  • Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
    A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
  • What sport can Batman best Superman in? Polo

Batman Orphan Jokes

Here is a list of funny batman orphan jokes and even better batman orphan puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Batman, but it's a Japanese action film Mighty Orphan Power Ranger
  • What's the difference between a newborn orphan and Batman? The newborn orphan didn't have to go down a dark alley to become one.
  • Why does Batman love to paddle in a canoe? He is an orphan
Batman joke, Why does Batman love to paddle in a canoe?

Cheerful Batman Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about batman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean superhero jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make batman pranks.

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."
Joker: "Ok, parental love".
Batman: "I don't get it.."
"exactly."

My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.


He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.

What's it called when Batman ditches church?

Christian bail.

A drunk stumbles out of the bar at 7am....

As he walks home, he sees a nun walking towards him. He stares her down the entire time as they get closer and closer. Right as they are about to pass, he punches her right in the face, knocking her out cold, then stands over her body and yells, "Not so tough today, are ya, Batman?".

A man goes in for a job application...

...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"

My boss told me to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight rises.

Dodged the bullet

A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman.

"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."

"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

Add a word to ruin a movie:

- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

How do the ladies get Batman to come?

Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.
Get your mind out of the gutter.

This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey...

When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

What do you call Batman running out of a church?

Christian Bale

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?
Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.
Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?
Number 7: 49

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.

I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage

Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

Whats the difference between Batman and a b**...

Batman can walk into a gas station without robin

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early?

Christian Bail

Batman told me he was skipping church this week.

Classic Christian Bale

Batman walks into a bar and the barman asks "what can I get you ?"

Just ice...

What's the toughest part about being Batman?

Knowing that you'll never make your parents proud.

People often use fiction to escape into the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems as them.

For instance, whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

What do you call it when Batman decides not to go to church?

Christian Bale

What did they call Batman when he was little?

Lil Wayne

Batman Impression

Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."
"Go on then" the second one says.
"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"
The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"
"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says

"No swimming without supervision."

Person 1:Do you want to hear my Batman impression ?

Person 2: Sure!
Person 1: AARGH NO! Not the Kryptonite!
Person 2: That's Super Man!
Person 1: Thanks, I've been practicing it

Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

Because his parents died

Dad to his son: Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!

Son: Go on, then.
Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!
Son: Dad, that's Superman!
Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.

A very drunk guy starts beating up a nun on the street

He throws kicks, uppercuts, regular punches, even some drunk karate moves.

Once he is exhausted he steps back and says "You disappoint me, Batman"

Batjoke

Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.
All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN!

what did batman get when he's at the store?

He GotHam

Our kid is always saying, I want to be Batman! or I wanna be Spider-Man!

So we dropped him off at the orphanage.

why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because batman swore to protect goth ham

What's the first thing Batman does when he wakes up?

He goes to the Batroom.

Snoopy writes a Batman comic book.

"He is the Dark and Stormy Knight..."

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.
That's Arkham's Razor.

A drunk guy is walking down the street...

He sees this nun, runs up, and knocks her over.
He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

Batman's suit ran out of battery power.

Batman: I need a battery
Robin: What's a tery?

Batman joke, Batman's suit ran out of battery power.

jokes about batman