Batman And Superman Jokes
44 batman and superman jokes and hilarious batman and superman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about batman and superman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Batman And Superman Short Jokes
Short batman and superman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The batman and superman humour may include short batman superman jokes also.
- You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
- 'Wanna hear my Batman impression?" 'Sure.'
'Oh no! Kryptonite!'
'That's Superman.'
'Thanks man. I've been practicing.' - Do you want to hear my Batman impression? - Sure
- "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
- That's superman
- Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot - Who's the better businessman: Superman or Batman? It's Superman of course, or have you ever heard about a batmarket?
- Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
- Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive" Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown"
- Batman impressionist Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"
"Go on then"
"NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
"That's Superman"
"Thanks, I've been practicing." - Batman has the Batcave. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude. What is Wonder Woman's base called? The Kitchen.
- What did the Irishman say about Batman and Superman's fathers? They were both Martha Fockers
- I hear there's a pre-credit stinger in Batman v. Superman But it's not worth sticking around for.
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Batman And Superman One Liners
Which batman and superman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with batman and superman? I can suggest the ones about batman and superman.
- Why is Batman jealous of Superman? Superman got adopted.
- If Batman and Superman had a baby, what would it be? Adopted
- Why is Batman so jealous of Superman? Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2
- What is it called when Batman and Superman challenge each other to a race? A Marthaon
- Ben Affleck being Batman won't ruin Batman v. Superman. (It'll be Zack Synder's fault.)
- What sport can Batman best Superman in? Polo
- What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman? The krypton-knight.
- "Do you bleed...?" Batman:Do you bleed?
Superman:No,but your parents did. - Who would win? Who would win in a fight superman or batman?
-Chuck Norris of Course! - **Infinity War spoiler** Superman kills Batman while Green Lantern looks on…
Uproarious Batman And Superman Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about batman and superman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean batman and robin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make batman and superman pranks.
My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.
He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.
Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.
After some time, Lois said Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I've regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.
You don't need to worry about that because, Clark said as he took off his glasses, I am Superman! Even if you didn't know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.
Oh thank God! said Lois. I can't tell you what a weight that is off my chest.
Glad we cleared that up, said Clark.
So I guess this means you were Batman too.
Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"
"Your parents when you move out."
After many years of fighting crime as batman
Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.
All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.
Batman Impression
Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."
"Go on then" the second one says.
"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"
The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"
"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."
Dad to his son: Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!
Son: Go on, then.
Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!
Son: Dad, that's Superman!
Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! and I said, That's Superman…
Thanks, man, he replied, I've been practising it a lot.
Wonder Woman
Batman is talking to the Flash. "Hey, Flash, did you hear about Wonder Woman? She was lying on the roof of her building n**... moving her hips in a suggestive manner. Superman was flying by and saw her. He took off his clothes, flew down and landed right on top."
Flash says, "Boy, I bet Wonder Woman was surprised."
Batman answers, "Not nearly as surprised as the invisible man!"
What do Superman, Batman, and Spiderman have in common?
They all have to get n**... to take a dump.
Joe is getting ready his Batman impression...
So he decides to show his friend Bob. "Hey Bob, wanna see a Batman impression?"
"Okay."
"NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
"That's Superman."
"Thanks Bob!"
After watching superman vs batman trailer, my expectation during exam time.
Professor : Tell me...do you read ?
Me : No
Professor : You will
Batman impersonation
Me: Do you want to here my impersonation?
Friend: sure
Me: AHHH please no more kryptonite please!
Friend: That superman.
Me: Thanks I have been practicing.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.
After some time, Lois said Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I've regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.
You don't need to worry about that because, Clark said as he took off his glasses, I am Superman! Even if you didn't know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.
Oh thank God! said Lois. I can't tell you what a weight that is off my chest.
Glad we cleared that up, said Clark.
So I guess this means you were Batman too.
—Credit goes to cartoonist Zach Weinersmith
Why would Batman always beat Superman?
because, being rich, Bruce Wayne can ride a horse properly.
