Bathtub Jokes
103 bathtub jokes and hilarious bathtub puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bathtub that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bathtub Short Jokes
Short bathtub jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bathtub humour may include short bath tub jokes also.
- Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub." Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
- What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?? Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
- What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.
- Batjoke Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?" - A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs. They were made for the sink.
- A little girl and a little boy were sitting in a bathtub together.. The little girl looks down and asks, "can I touch it?" He answers, "NO WAY- YOU ALREADY BROKE YOURS OFF!"
- The difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathtub? one has hope in her soul.
- what's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul whilst the girl in the bathtub has...
- what do you do with someone that is having a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in a load of laundry.
- First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it. What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
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Bathtub One Liners
Which bathtub one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bathtub? I can suggest the ones about hot tub and bathe.
- What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Throw your laundry in with them.
- What do you call james bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7
- The seven dwarves are sitting in the bathtub, feeling happy... ...so, Happy gets out.
- Why shouldn't you put a toaster in the bathtub? Because your toast will get soggy.
- What do you do if you see someone having a seizure in the bathtub? Toss in your laundry!
- Who stole the soap from the bathtub The robber ducky
- What do you call James Bond in a bathtub? Bubble-O-7
(I'll see myself out.) - What's the pinnacle of confusion? Two blind gay men, in a bathtub full of hotdogs.
- Jimmy was blowing bubbles in the bathtub... then Bubbles got up and left.
- What do you call a bathtub salesman? A shower shower.
- What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream
- Why aren't bathtubs good at gardening? Because they're showers not growers.
- What do you call someone who died by a toaster in a bathtub Toast
- My bathtub is just like me. Shallow and not quite long enough.
- Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!
Heartwarming Bathtub Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about bathtub you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bubble bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bathtub pranks.
How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?
100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.
What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?
Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Three gay men are in a bathtub together and a c**... floats to the top. Two of them ask...
"Okay, who f**...?"
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
Asylum
A reporter is looking for a new story and thought an asylum for the insane would make a nice story. There, his first question is how they know who is sane and who's insane. "Well," the woman working there replied "We give everyone a teaspoon, a tablespoon and a bucket. Then we lead them to the bathroom and ask them to empty the bathtub as fast as they can". "Obviously, the sane people would use the bucket" the reporter says.
"No, the sane people would use the plug..."
What's the difference between...
Requires the receivers input so I will just tell the full joke. It's given me quite a bit of laughs and sighs so I thought I would share it!
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a bathtub full of glue?
"I dont know!"
Well you can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
"What about the bathtub of glue?"
I thought you might get stuck on that one!
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, one to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, and the second to fill the bathtub with bright purple machine tools, and one more to purchase a squirrel from the apple vendor.
During a visit to the mental hospital....
..a visitor asks the Director what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
What should you do when someone has an epileptic attack in a bathtub?
Quickly throw in your dirty laundry.
You sir, belong in a bathtub
With all the other scrubs
Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub...
and my sister commented that the hair on her ''privates'' was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that "grass don't grow on a racetrack".
Do you remember blowing bubbles in the bathtub as a kid?
Saw him the other day, told me to say hello!
I was worried when I found a Magnemite in my bathtub while playing Pokemon-GO
I guess he's Bi-Polar
Honey, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that the penguin pooped in the bathtub.
Wife: "But we don't *have* a penguin!"
Me: "And now for the good news...!"
My mom once forgot her meds and tried to drown me in the bathtub.
That made for a really weird 27th Birthday.
What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?
One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here
"Grandpa, get out of the bathtub. You'll get cold and die."
Grandpa got out of the bathtub, got cold, and died...
What do my toaster and I have in common?
We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time.
So baby pull me closer.....
In the bathtub, with a toaster
A man asks the doctor
"Can I take a bath with diarrhea?"
Doctor:"If you could fill the bathtub with it, why not?"
I was trying to impress this girl
I was of course, trying to sleep with this girl.
So in order to impress her, I filled up my bathtub with fermented apples and alcohol.
I was trying to get...in-cider.
Two nuns are in the bathtub
One nun says: "Where's the soap?"
The other says: "It does, doesn't it?"
A little boy and girl are playing together in a bathtub...
The girl asks: "Can I touch your wiener?"
The boy replies: "NO WAY, you've already ripped yours off!"
What's worse than taking a dump right after you get out of the bathtub?
Taking a dumb whilst you're in the bathtub.
Can I touch it?
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"
Dirty Joke: I like to take a bath and blow Bubbles
Bubbles is my Grandpa. He died in the bathtub 6 weeks ago but is still hard as a rock.
What do you do with an epileptic child having a seizure in your bathtub?
Add your dirty clothes and soap.
I've been getting into Bath Salts recently...
Nothing major it's just that if I'm gonna smoke crack in the bathtub I want that bath to be exfoliating.
Did you hear Jeffrey d**... had dandruff?
They found some head and shoulders in his bathtub
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in the bathtub?
One of them has hope in her soul!
They say the bathtub is one of the safest places to be during a tornado.
That's why I put mine on the front porch.
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not
One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"
Tony Stark and Pepper potts are sitting in bathtub feeling Happy..
... Suddenly Happy felt disgusted and left.
The doctor was showing the visitor around the insane asylum
,and showing him a test to decide whether people should be admitted as patients. "We fill a bathtub with water and we hand the person a teaspoon, a cup, and a pail." "Oh," says the visitor, "So the normal person will use the pail to empty the tub." The doctor replied, "No, actually, a normal person would pull the plug. So, would you like a private room?"
I finally found the person
Me: What's the difference between an u**... and a bathtub?
Him: What is it?
Me: Guys, I found out who it is
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
One of the bears says:
"Can you pass the soap?"
The other bear says:
"No soap, radio."
A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.
The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?
Brains
A 3-year old boy is looking at his t**... in the bathtub and asks his mom, are these my brains? To which his mother reply's not yet sweetie
A man to a psychiatrist:
How do you select who should be admitted to your facility? The psychiatrist replies: We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub. The man smiles: Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket. The Psychiatrist replies: No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?
This is one of my dad's favorite jokes
There are three elephants in a bathtub.
Clyde says to Claude "Pass the soap."
Claude says "No soap radio."
\*I'm curious if anyone knows the joke
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
So dumb it makes me laugh every time i hear it
me: knock knock
them: who's there
me: Dwayne
them: Dwayne who
me: dwayne the bathtub! i'm dwowning!
Some mold started appearing in my bathtub
I didn't like it at first, but I'll admit, it started to grow on me.
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my b**...."
Blonde Woman Wants To Look Young Again
A blonde woman heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
The milkman read the note, and thought there must be a mistake. He asked the women if she meant 2.5 gallons.
The blonde woman said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want the milk to be pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my b**.... I can splash it on my eyes."
What's the difference between a lady in a church and a lady in a bathtub?
One has a soul full of hope, the other has a hole full of soap.
A joke I heard on South Park today
When the Milk Man brought the lady her milk, she invited him in and then stripped off all her clothes. Standing there n**..., she told the Milk Man to take the milk and fill the bathtub with it. The Milk Man asked the woman "Do you want it pasteurized?" "No", the lady said, "just up to my b**...."
What do you do when your GF is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Toss in a load of laundry with her. Save four quarters.
A inspector visits a sanatoriun to check its conditions.
During the tour the director takes him to one of their newly designed test rooms, claiming its foolproof.
"We fill up this bathtub to the brim see? Then we hand to the inmate a spoon and a cup and ask him to empty the tub" Says the director
The inspector nods and replies with a smile "Ah, i see. And the inmate, if sane will choose the cup because it's the biggest."
The director then looks at the inspector and raises a brow "No, the sane one will just open the drain"
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
My mother woke me up with the sentence „Hey, we're getting new phones!
I was happy, but not sure why I woke up in a bathtub full of ice cubes.
Batman: "It's been a long day."
Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub."
Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
Wanna hear a clean joke?
I blew bubbles in the bathtub. Wanna hear the dirty version? Bubbles was a clown.
Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.
What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
A woman in church has hope in her soul...
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.
The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.
The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,
"Was he a programmer?"
"Yes, why?"
She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."
